


Broken, Together

by Babs97



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Bonding, Emotional Abuse, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fingering, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Hurt/Comfort, Longing, Love, Low Self-Esteem, Masturbation, Modern, Modern Setting, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Physical Abuse, Protective Arthur Morgan, Romance, Sex, Sexual Tension, Slightly possessive Arthur Morgan, Slow Burn, Teasing, Trauma, but in a hot way, copious amounts of angst, mentions of abuse, past truama, semi-public oral sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24613096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babs97/pseuds/Babs97
Summary: Arthur Morgan has never considered himself a lucky man when it comes to relationships. When he meets Nellie, a bartender in a small Arizona town, he’s close to hopeless. Life hasn’t been kind to either of them, and as they navigate their past traumas together, their friendship grows. Sharing their experiences brings them together in a way Arthur never would have imagined possible. He finds that when he’s with Nell, he can let the pain of his past slip away.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 71
Kudos: 77





	1. Introductions

He’d said he had just gotten over a bad breakup, long term relationship. She nodded solemnly at that, taking a modest swig of beer before leaning back over the bar. “Know how that feels.” She chewed her lip for a moment before stealing a glance his way. His head was down, hands clasped around the drink on the bar. “What’re you drinking?” she asked nonchalantly. He perked up, his eyes looked tired, sad.

“Old Fashioned.” His mouth quirked up into a small smile, amusement in his features as he nodded his head towards her. “You?”

She gave a sheepish little laugh, “Piss water basically.”

He gave a chuckle at that. “Why you drinkin’ it then, if you don’t like it?” he queried.

She gave a noncommittal shrug, “About to start my shift, so I _unfortunately_ can’t get too drunk” she gave a breathy laugh, “this is just enough to take the edge off.” She gave him a lopsided grin. “Gets tiring dealing with half-assed pick-up lines from handsy drunk men all night. Just figured I’d get ahead of the curve.” She gave him a little wink in jest.

His eyes widened a fraction. “You work here?”

“Yea, that surprise you?” She took another sip of beer, curling her lips around the bottle in a smile as she drank.

He watched her, momentarily stunned. He knew bars usually hired pretty girls to serve drinks, but this girl wasn’t pretty, she was…

“So you a whiskey man then?” Her voice brought him out of his quiet reverie.

“Huh?” he shook his head, looking at his drink, and then back up to her. “Oh. Yea, love me a good whiskey.” He inwardly cursed at himself for faltering. _You dumb fool._

She grinned at him, studying him for a second before draining the rest of her beer and pushing away from the bar.

“Well it was really nice talkin’ with you. I should go get changed and relieve Angie of her shift.” She nodded her head in the direction of the blonde who was currently behind the bar, wiping down the counter. He gave her an awkward little two fingered salute before she turned around.

_Stunning._

_There was that word he was looking for earlier…_

* * *

He’d ended up staying up there for the better part of the night, still talking to her as she served other customers. “You don’t seem too happy bein’ here I must say” she said, grinning.

He waved a hand dismissively, feeling a pleasant buzz warming his body. “Ah, you know how it is. Some friends dragged me out to _socialize_ after they got sick of me mopin’ around I guess.” He took a slow drink, savoring the burn of the whiskey in his throat.

“You want another?” She asked, nodding to his glass.

“Thank you, kindly.” He handed her the tumbler gratefully.

He watched her measure out all the ingredients with care, watched her meticulously craft his drink. He had to admit he found it quite interesting to watch. “So,” he paused, bringing a fist to his mouth while he cleared his throat awkwardly, “where you from?”

“Atlanta, what about you?”

“Oh, so you’re a Georgia peach then? You certainly don’t sound like no Southern belle.”

She blushed, laughing quietly, “Mmhm I get that a lot. I guess the most Southern I sound is when I say “y’all” or I leave the ‘g’s off of words sometimes.” She paused, sensing a bit of confusion from him. “Y’know like saying _bein’_ instead of _being._ Stuff like that.”

“Well that makes me feel a little more at home I s’pose.” He scratched the short growth of beard on his jaw with his thumb. “I’m from Texas, grew up in the more Western part of the state.”

She nodded thoughtfully, “Hmm not a lot of Southern accents sound too appealing to me, but I must say I rather like your _twang_.” She said with a mischievous little smirk.

She finished with his drink, adding a twist of citrus rind as garnish, before handing it back to him.

“Well ain’t that pretty; thank you.” He took a long sip and closed his eyes, humming in appreciation. “Mmmm and you do make a damn fine Old Fashioned.”

He opened his eyes to see her smirking playfully at him, “I know how to make a lot more than an Old Fashioned. Maybe I can make you some more drinks sometime?” She suggested it innocently, but it got his blood pumping all the same. He felt his cheeks redden. She must have not meant it the way he had interpreted it, because she just continued smiling at him sweetly.

“Arthur!” he startled slightly, feeling a hand clap his shoulder, and turned around to find John grinning at him.

“Oh, hey John.” He said as he tried to catch his breath. John laughed, his raspy voice full of amusement.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya.” He took a swig of his beer. “You been up here all night? We’ve been lookin’ for you. C’mon back to the table, Charles is chattin’ up this lively redhead.” He gave Arthur an exaggerated wink and laughed again.

“Yea sure, I’ll be there in a minute.” Arthur said with a grin. Thinking of Charles trying to flirt with some pretty girl made him snicker. Though he weren’t that much better. Eloquence was never a word he’d used to describe himself. Arthur turned back to the bar, an apologetic look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he glanced around almost secretively, making sure John had walked back to the table, “between you an’ me, I’d rather stay up here talkin’ wit’ you.” He gave her an endearing crooked little smile.

“That’s quite alright…Arthur was it?” she asked curiously.

“Yea,” he stuck his hand out and shook hers over the counter of the bar.

“I’m Nellie, but everyone just calls me Nell.”

“Nell…” he liked the sound of it on his tongue, but then again he was quite a few drinks in by that point in the night. “Real nice to meet you.”

She grinned at him, “Likewise. Hope to see you around again.”

He gave her a nod and a smile before retreating to the back of the bar to meet up with his friends.

“Damn, _amigo._ ” Javier called to Arthur as he walked up to the table. “that was one pretty _señorita_ you was chattin’ up all night. Real pretty.” Arthur rolled his eyes, but didn’t respond, even as Javier obviously craned his head around Arthur’s shoulder to look at her.

Arthur looked around, “hey—where’s Charles?”

John and Javier shared a good snicker. “He took that girl home ‘bout a minute before you walked over.”

Arthur let out a low whistle and a small chuckle at that, “you boys is crazy.”

John nudged Arthur good-naturedly, “You know, you don’t necessarily have to go home alone tonight.”

Arthur spluttered, cheeks going red. John and Javier had a loud laugh. It was so easy to throw him off. For being such a big man, he sure did shy away easily.

“You know that’s never really been my thing” Arthur took a long drink before adding “unlike Marston here.” Javier and Arthur chuckled.

“Hey! No need to make fun. Abigail and I are on a break right now.” he grumbled, taking a pull from his beer bottle.

Arthur looked back at the bar thoughtfully, “but you know, I think she might have maybe liked me a little. We were flirtin’ a good bit.”

“Arthur, you know bartenders flirt with customers to get better tips right?” John said before taking another drink.

Arthur’s face fell, a little disappointed, but knowing John was probably right.

“John, we got Arthur out to help him feel _better._ ” Javier chided, before adding to Arthur, “I think you should go for it, brother. The worst she can say is no.”

Arthur grimaced a bit. He didn’t deal with rejection particularly well, tended to turn it inwardly on himself. Figured most of the time it was better to not even try. In the few romantic relationships he’d had with women throughout his life, he’d managed to fuck all of them up. This most recent breakup had of course been with Mary. _Again._ They had been on and off again so much over the years, but she always dumped him all the same. He didn’t quite know why he always readily ran back to her, thinking _this time_ would be different. He hated that he was never able to say no to her. Well, he hated a lot of things about himself, but that one was on the forefront of his mind right now.

He sighed, finishing his drink and setting it down on the table. “Thanks for inviting me out fellers, but I best be headin’ back home now.”

Javier hit John’s arm, giving him a scornful look.

John yelped, rubbing his shoulder tenderly, before piping up to Arthur.

“Alright Arthur, sorry tonight didn’t quite go as planned, I’ll get the tab.” He paused thoughtfully, “Maybe we’ll see you after the weekend?”

Old Johnny Marston; Arthur had known him for most of his life. The man meant well, was just too thickheaded sometimes to think about what he said before it came out of his mouth. Hell, Arthur was certainly guilty of that as well.

“Yea, sure. We’ll catch up after work one night. See y’all. Thanks for the drinks, John.” He cast one more glance towards the bar. Nell was busy making drinks, not noticing Arthur leaving, but Arthur walked out the door anyways.

* * *

He flopped down into bed, exhaustion seeping through him. He kicked off his boots and took off his belt before getting underneath the covers. He glanced at his phone. _1:13 AM._ He contemplated messaging Mary, just to see how she was; or so he told himself. He’d heard the expression that nothing good ever happens after midnight, especially with alcohol mixed in, but he couldn’t help tapping on her name, scrolling through their text messages. _Goddamnit._ It had been over a month since they’d broken up, and she hadn’t messaged him. Hadn’t even shown an inkling of interest in reaching out while he was sitting here going damn near crazy trying _not_ to text her. She was all he could think about most of the time.

He just couldn’t understand how you could be with someone for that many years, consistently or not, and not have the decency or even the _want_ to check on them after they’d ripped your heart out for the umpteenth time. He threw his phone to the other side of the bed in frustration, rubbing his face wearily with his hands. _I’m such a fucking idiot._

* * *

Nell finished up at the bar around 2:30 AM, tying her long dark hair up into a messy ponytail before changing out of her uniform in the back room. She sighed, rolling her shoulders and cracking her joints tiredly. She looked around the still crowded bar as the next shift came in, trying to spot that man from earlier. Arthur, that had been his name. She got up on her tiptoes, even looking for his friends, but it looked like they had all gone home. She felt a little pang of disappointment; she had really enjoyed talking to him tonight. He seemed genuine, and you didn’t really meet many people like that anymore, at least not in her experience.

She said her goodbyes to the rest of the servers before walking out of the door and heading back to her apartment for the night.

* * *

Arthur awoke the next day with a slight pounding in his temples. He groaned, trying to smooth out some of his bedhead, out of habit at this point. Mary had always fussed at him about that first thing in the morning. _You look so disheveled Arthur. What if someone saw you like that?_ Arthur this, Arthur that. Mary seemed to have unrealistic expectations of somehow always looking put together at all times.

_That just ain’t the way life is Mary, he’d say. You can’t get mad at me when I woke up 20 seconds ago, that don’t seem fair._ She’d just huff, seemingly thoroughly embarrassed by him.

He just couldn’t ever win with her it seemed, yet he loved her endlessly.

Arthur swung his legs over the side of the bed, stretching and letting out a big yawn before heading to his bathroom. Stripping his clothes away from him, he turned on the hot water of the shower, the air quickly becoming thick with humidity and mist. He breathed in deeply, trying to rid his thoughts of Mary and how depressed he was. He let out a contended sigh when he felt the hot water run over his back. He braced his hand against the wall of the shower and just stood with his head under the stream of water, closing his eyes.

His thoughts drifted to last night, to that girl. _I’m Nellie, but everyone just calls me Nell._ His lips tugged up into a lazy smile. _Maybe I can make you some more drinks sometime?_

He’d felt a connection with her, that’s for sure, but maybe John was right. He couldn’t believe how daft he was to think she might be flirting with him. He’d had his fair share of misreading situations in the past. She sure was pretty though. No, pretty don’t even come close to her.

He scrubbed his other hand over his face irritably. Guilt was already clouding his mind just from thinking about any other girl than Mary.

He was a damn fool. Always had been, and he was lonely. If he were being truthful with himself, he was lonely as hell while he was with Mary this latest time, she would barely ever touch him. Any intimacy they once shared in the past had readily fizzled out on her end. He hadn’t really indulged himself in a long while. Whenever he and Mary did get back together, it was for short bursts, until she grew bored of him again.

He leaned out of the stream of water for a minute, long enough to grab a bar of soap and start scrubbing himself down with it.

He’d never cheat on her though, couldn’t ever, not to her or anyone; no matter how starved for her touch or desperate he got. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for her, and that had just about crumbled his minuscule sense of self-worth to the ground when he found out.

He’d only ever dated a couple other girls after he first met Mary, and ever since then he and Mary had had this on again off again relationship. He craved her like a drug. He knew it wasn’t healthy. She knew what she did to him, and the first couple weeks back together were always unbelievable. Amazing sex, doting from her, reassurance that she wouldn’t leave him again. This past time had been different; she wasn’t ever in the mood to make love, she’d fuss at him all the time, and he hadn’t felt that same kind of strong connection from her he was used to. But he had to keep trying, he wouldn’t give up on her. Maybe she’d just been having a rough time lately. He tried everything he could to make her happy right up until she had dumped him. He still had no clue what he had done, but it had left him brokenhearted all the same. And of course he blamed himself.

He put the soap back in its little dish after scrubbing his face clean before he shampooed his hair, trying to shut his damn thoughts out.

When he was thoroughly clean, he stepped out of the shower, wrapped his lower half in a towel, brushed his teeth, and brushed through his hair. He thought about his day. He had to go grocery shopping later, maybe then he could grab lunch with Lenny or something, after that he had nothing planned. His mind drifted back to Nell, maybe going back to the bar. _She don’t want you there, dumbass._


	2. Let's Give This a Try

“What can I get for you today?” Nell had her hair up in a bun and simple makeup on her pretty face.

“Uhh I’ll just get a cup of coffee for now, I’m waitin’ on a friend.” The young man at the table replied. He gave her a nod and a small smile.

“Cream or sugar?”

“Both please, thanks.”

Nell put a pot of coffee on while she heard the bell above the door chime. “Welcome in” she said over her shoulder, her back turned to the door. She poured a cup of coffee for the young man after it had brewed and returned to his table. She recognized a familiar face when she walked up.

“Arthur, hi!” Nell gave a cheery smile.

Arthur was clearly surprised to see her, but gave a slight wave. “You work here too?”

He saw her face fall a little and mentally kicked himself.

“Yea, times have been a bit rough lately.” She handed the other man his coffee. Arthur nodded thoughtfully, he certainly understood that.

“Anyways, what would you like to eat?” She got her notepad and pen out, waiting for him to decide.

“You two know each other?” the other man asked before sticking his hand out. “Name’s Lenny, I’m a friend of Arthur’s.”

She nodded in acknowledgement, shaking his hand. “Nellie, nice to meet you.”

_No “Everyone just calls me Nell” to Lenny_ Arthur thought. Ugh. He was overthinking this. He truthfully was very excited to see her, but after what John had said last night, he didn’t want to be too forward with her, so he just stayed neutral. “I’ll have this on rye please” he pointed to one of the sandwiches on the menu.

Nell scribbled it down in her notepad, gave him a small nod, and walked away.

“Wow. Where do you know a girl like that from?” Lenny grinned.

Arthur waved his hand at him dismissively, “just met her at a bar last night. The guys dragged me out.”

Lenny studied his friend’s face. “You alright? That girl sure seemed more excited to see you than you were to see her.”

Arthur shrugged, “just feel a little awkward is all. Tried to flirt with her a little last night to get my mind off of Mary, but uh, I just mumbled around my words like an idiot. Doubt a girl like her wants anything wit’ a guy like me.”

“Sure, it’d be hard for any man to talk straight to a girl who looks like her.” Lenny glanced at Nell again before returning his attention to his friend. “But Arthur, you’re way too hard on yourself. You should ask her out. She clearly seems to like you.”

Arthur gave a humorless scoff, shaking his head. “Nah, I’ll start feelin’ guilty about Mary.”

Lenny rolled his eyes, “C’mon man, you deserve so much better than her. She’s toxic. She just likes playin’ with you, you know that.”

Arthur gave another small shrug. “I know she don’t love me like I love her, but it ain’t that easy to just get over her.”

Lenny hummed in acknowledgment, “sure, sure.” He leaned back in his chair, thinking. “Still think you should ask her out though. Just try. You’ll feel guilty for the first little bit, but this is the first step in finding someone better for you. I know you man, if you don’t do this you just gon’ wait around for her to text you again and jump right back into this cycle. Been watchin’ this shit for years.”

Arthur looked down uncomfortably. “And if she says no?”

“Then she says no. Ain’t the end of the world. But I don’t think she gon’ say no with the way she lit up at you when you walked in.”

Arthur turned his head to the counter, looking at Nell working on some receipts. He let out a sigh. “Sure, alright. I’ll give it a try.” He grimaced hearing those words come out of his mouth but Lenny leaned over the table, slapping Arthur’s shoulder in approval.

“Proud of you man.”

“Yea yea.” Arthur frowned, flexing his hands uselessly on the table. It was one of his nervous habits.

The two friends finished up their lunch, paid their bills and said their goodbyes. Arthur hung back though, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking anxiously around the restaurant.

He saw Nell come out from the kitchen, waving to get her attention. She smiled and walked towards him.

“Hey Arthur,” she stopped, noting his face all twisted up in anxiety. “You ok?” She reached out and touched his arm gently.

“Um yea, I was just—uh—just wanted to know if maybe…” He stuttered awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Nell felt her cheeks redden, a smile spreading on her face.

“Wanna go out sometime?” She finished for him. He looked up at her gratefully. He felt like a goddamn idiot.

“Heh, yea.”

“I’d love to” she beamed at him

Arthur released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Great!” he said a little over-enthusiastically, immediately grimacing. “Uh, I can give you my number and maybe we could figure out a time?”

“I mean I could just tell you my work schedule, I—” she shut her mouth, realizing this might be his way of trying to get her number in a less forward and politer way. Her heart beat did a little _ba dum_ , she found his gesture very endearing.

“’Course” she took out her cell, handing it to him while accepting his. They put each other’s numbers into their phones.

“Alright. I’ll text you when I get off work and we’ll find a time.” She smiled.

He returned it easily, “Sure, I’ll talk to you later.”

She liked the way he said sure…it sounded more like _shoar._

She gave him a wave before he turned to leave, watching him walk out of the door.

Arthur got into his pickup, cursing under his breath. _Goddamnit. This was a mistake. He wasn’t ready for this. He’d just have to walk right back inside and tell Nell it wouldn’t work. Save her the trouble of having to sit through a date with him._ But even though he knew it would probably be the right thing to do, he couldn’t force his legs to get out of the truck. Truthfully, he wanted to see her again.

* * *

The rest of the weekend went by quickly, too quickly for Arthur’s liking. He and Nell had been texting a little, sharing each other’s work schedules and they had decided upon Thursday night. The bar wouldn’t be too busy that night, and the little lunch spot she also worked at wasn’t open in the evenings. Arthur tried to keep himself as busy as possible that week with work, trying to will the days to slow down. So when he sat across from Nell at a casual restaurant she had suggested, his nerves and energy were both shot. It was a strange feeling, being tired but anxious at the same time. It felt contradictory.

Nell looked beautiful, her slightly wavy hair fell down past her shoulders and she wore a simple floral dress. He caught himself staring.

“So, Arthur, what do you do?” She took a sip of wine.

“I break horses on a ranch actually, train the young ones and the ornery ones.”

Her face lit up, “Really? So I’m guessin’ you ride Western?”

“Yea, sometimes I do a little ropin’ too with cattle.”

He paused, watching her curiously. “You ride?”

Another sip of wine. “Yea, I grew up riding, I’ve been doing it most of my life. Love it.”

“Western?”

She shook her head, a small smile gracing her lips. “English.”

“English?! In Arizona?” He laughed. “Whatchu ridin’ like that for out west?”

She cracked a grin, laughing a little. “Nothin’ wrong with it! I grew up on the east coast, and I jump.”

“Wow, now admittedly that is something I have never done, and I’ve been riding my whole life.”

“Well maybe someday you can meet the horse I ride and we can try some jumping lessons.” She was wearing that half smirk that he really liked.

He chuckled, “Alright. You wanna learn how to rope steers and sit on a buckin’ bronco? I’ll trade ya for my jumpin’ lessons.”

She laughed, “Oh I have certainly had my fair share of riding bucking broncos.”

There that was again. He was sure she didn’t mean it the way he was interpreting it. Probably just his dirty, muddled, mind. He disgusted himself.

The rest of the night dissolved into easy conversation, much like it had at the bar when they first met. He realized he could talk to her for hours and never grow bored. When he walked her to her car in the parking lot, he was thinking of kissing her goodnight, hoping it wouldn’t be too bold and that he wouldn’t get a slap to the face. She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, a lazy smile upon her lips. Right as Arthur was about to work up the courage to lean down, his phone started ringing. He realized that Nell had started leaning in, but she backed off. He was fully prepared to just let his phone ring; he wasn’t really able to think right now anyways. “You should probably get that” she grinned once the phone had been ringing for at least 10 seconds.

He dug around in his pockets and pulled his phone out, when he saw the screen, his heart both stopped and sped up all at the same time. It was Mary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can anyone tell me how to fix the spacing when I paste it over from Word? It's pissing me off. Thx


	3. How Long?

“Hey can we talk? I’m sorry how we left things and I—I miss you.” Mary’s voice filtered through his ears, both hurting him and making him feel giddy at the same time.

“Hey um—” Arthur looked at Nell, her smile falling. She probably had figured out who called him. “Now’s not really the best time. Can I call you later?” Disappointment etched Nell’s features. _This call really had come at the worst time._ It’s almost as if Mary had somehow sensed that he was trying to move on and she had to put a stop to it.

“Yea. I love you.”

He screwed his eyes shut. _Fuck._ He looked at Nell again, and hung up before he had the chance to say it back.

“Nell, I’m sorry about th—”

“Was that her?”

He swallowed hard. He found himself nodding his head.

She sighed. She knew how this went. Had experienced it before. “Please don’t get yourself hurt, ok?” she opened her car door.

“Nell, wait.”

She looked back at him, she looked sad. He felt like an absolute ass. He had really had a good time tonight. He liked Nell, but Mary...she wanted him back. He felt so conflicted. Nell was reading him clear as day.

She got into her car, buckling her seatbelt. Arthur watched as she rolled down her window, guilt enveloping him, suffocating him. She looked at him for a moment, as if trying to figure out what to say.

“You know, people like her aren’t ever really capable of loving someone. They’re sick people, Arthur.”

He had the sense she had gone through some of the same pain.

He just stared dumbly at her, then looked down.

She gave him a sad smile, and then she was gone.

* * *

Why couldn’t he say no to her?! What was his problem with not being able to say no to women?! He hated himself even more after Nell had driven off. He knew he had fucked up. He always fucked up.

He had made up his mind, he would go to Mary’s house, and they would talk about it. Arthur would finally stand up to her, and shut this down for good. Nell was right. He knew she was right but he didn’t anticipate just how hard it would be to do this.

When he arrived at her house, he let out a breath to steady his nerves. He approached the door and knocked a few times. A couple seemingly long moments passed.

“Arthur!” Mary flung her arms around him as she opened the door. Before he could get a word in, she pressed her lips to his, hot and needy. _Fuuuuuuck._ His brain short circuited, he forgot what he came here to do.

“I missed you.” She stepped back, motioning for him to come in.

Arthur regained some of his sense when she had let him go. Now he had an important choice to make. If he entered through that door, he wouldn’t be able to say no to her. If he went through that door, it was game over.

She sensed his hesitation, her face falling a little. Arthur took a step away from the door, and just like that, Mary’s robe was pulled away, revealing her in that red matching bra and underwear set that he loved so much.

“Arthur…” she made a little pouty face.

His eyes raked over her. He knew this was wrong. Knew what she was doing. But god he was so lonely. His body was already starting to react, and Mary gave a pleased little hum. He felt his feet shuffle forwards, and then she took his hand, and closed the door behind them.

* * *

Nell stood behind the bar the next night, arms braced on the counter in frustration. She knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as she drove off. She knew his ex’s type. She knew her type all too well. She closed her eyes, breathing out evenly. A familiar voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

That deep, rumbly Texas twang twisted her heart in all sorts of ways after last night. “Hey, Nell, can we talk?”

When she opened her eyes, she looked at his gaze. He looked impossibly sad. She looked around the bar, there was a lull in patrons at the moment, it wasn’t quite late enough for a crowd yet. She sighed. “Sure, Arthur.”

She wore a guarded expression, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I’m so sorry about the way things ended last night. I didn’t know she was gonna call me and I didn’t mean to ruin a perfectly good evenin’ wit’ you.”

Nell tried to keep her anger in check. “You back with her?”

He didn’t answer.

She scoffed. “Look Arthur I—” she paused to think for a moment, pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger.

“How long has it been like this with her?” Nell said instead, softening her voice.

“Years.”

“Jesus” she rubbed her face. “And you know what she’s doin’ to you right?”

He nodded, “I know it ain’t healthy. I just…she messes with my head in all sorts of ways I can’t explain. She’s like a drug, Nellie.” He cut his hand through the air irritably.

Her face fell, “I know what you mean.”

He looked up at her in surprise.

“I went through the same thing with my ex-boyfriend for years. We lived together until finally I couldn’t—I left.”

“Do you ever think about him still?”

“Course. Sometimes my brain only wants to remember the good parts of him.” She took a breath. “People like that…they’re abusive. I think you know where I’m going with this.”

He looked at her quizzically. “Are you saying Mary is…abusive?” He looked incredulous.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, and before you argue with me, abusive relationships can be more than just physical. They can be emotional too.”

He stared at her.

“Just do me a favor ok?”

He nodded slowly.

“Keep talking to me?”

He nodded again, waiting for her to continue, “Cuz I know your pain, I know how it feels to love someone and hate them all at once and hating yourself for not being able to just leave. And being able to talk with people who have been through the same thing is good for you, you know.”

He realized then that she probably needed this for herself too.

“And after how you left me last night, I think you owe me one.”

He looked up to see her smirking that little half smirk, albeit with less enthusiasm.

“Sure, Nell.” He said softly, finding it hard to meet her gaze.

She let out a long sigh, trying to give him a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

She grabbed a rag, wiping down the counter. Arthur thought it looked spotless already. “so,” she began, clearing her throat before speaking again, “what’s she do? Mary, I mean.” She didn’t look up from wiping the counter.

He noticed the tense set of her shoulders while she cleaned.

“She, uh, she’s in marketing and advertising.”

“Sounds pretty prestigious” she laughed quietly.

He nodded solemnly. “she’s good at what she does, I’ll give her that.”

“She pretty high up on the totem pole at the office?” she met his eyes now, seemingly satisfied with the counters.

He cleared his throat a little awkwardly, “Yea, she is.”

Nell scoffed a little, looking out across the bar, “so she’s used to bossing people around?”

“Nell…” Arthur sighed softly, giving her a pained look.

“Sorry, just….it fits her type. I’ll—” she looked back at him, cutting herself off when she saw his expression.

“Sorry” she said again, her shoulders slumping slightly with guilt at her outburst. She took her phone out of her jeans pocket, looking at the time. “Shoot” she said a little under her breath.

“Gotta get ready for the crowd?” Arthur asked lightly. Nell nodded at him.

“Sorry, Arthur. Let’s catch up later, ok?”

“Sure, Nellie.”

* * *

Lenny had chewed Arthur out after finding out how his date had ended, and when all the guys got together for drinks a few weeks later, the rest of his friends joined in too. Arthur rolled his eyes.

“C’mon fellers, it ain’t like that. She—”

“Is different this time?” Charles asked in an annoyed tone.

“Has changed for good?” John joined in, swigging his beer. “C’mon man we’ve heard it all before. I’m sick of this shit. We can’t keep sittin’ here watchin’ that bitch tear your heart out again.”

“Marston!” Arthur barked, giving him a deadly glance.

“He’s not wrong, Arthur. You’ve already had a bad argument and you’ve only been back together for a little over a month.” Javier added softly.

Arthur rubbed his face in frustration before getting up. “I’m going to the bar to get a refill.”

He pushed his way through the throng of people.

He threw some money on the counter, “Gimme the strongest whiskey you got. Make it a double” He said lowly.

“Yikes. Rough day?”

“Nell? Thought you wasn’t workin’ tonight.”

She shrugged. “Had to cover for one of the girls last minute.” She braced her hands on the counter, giving him a long look.

He shied under her scrupulous gaze.

“You don’t look so good, Arthur.”

“Yeah well…Mary and I got in a fight, and now my friends won’t shut up about her.”

She nodded, mouth frowning a little on one side. She turned around and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, poured him a double, and slid the glass his way.

He nodded gratefully, wincing slightly as he took the shot. “Thanks.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

He slid the glass back to her. “Mind if I get another?”

“Sure.” She shrugged, watching him as he drank his second shot.

“God this stuff is awful” he laughed a little while he said it. She joined in, chuckling lightly. “You asked for somethin’ strong, not necessarily somethin’ good.” Her eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Shit, didn’t think it’d be this bad though.” He made a sour face, making her laugh in earnest.

“I’ll take another” he quickly recovered from his exaggerated expression, giving her a genuine smile.

She chuckled and shook her head, “Alright, your funeral.”

She uncapped the bottle, filled his glass, slid it back towards him. This continued for a few more shots, 'til she could see him start to wobble.

“Alright, hey, I think you should call it a night big guy.” She laughed, taking his empty shot glass.

He chuckled, that deep laugh rumbling through his chest.

“You gonna be ok?” Nell asked.

“Sure.” _She really did like the way he said that._

“You got somebody to take you home?”

“Pssh, nah. I can just walk back.” He looked around for his friends, finding them still in deep conversation at the back of the room at one of the tables.

He scowled a little.

“You know, I’m sure they just want what’s best for you. It’s not fun to watch someone you care about get hurt.” She shrugged nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I know.” He let out a breath, bracing his palms on the counter to steady himself.

“I don’t think you should walk back alone in the state you’re in. You should have one of them take you.”

“Don’t wanna talk to them right now.”

“I know but you shouldn’t—”

“You still talk to him?”

She stared at him for a moment, not sure what to say.

“Sorry, din’t mean to cut you off.” He slurred.

She laughed softly, staring down at the counter. Here he was drunk off his ass, and he still had manners. Not many guys like that.

“My ex?”

“Yeah.”

She looked away, her expression turning uncomfortable.

“No…I—sometimes I guess.” She took a breath, “he’s usually the one to initiate the conversation.”

Arthur nodded. “You miss ‘im?”

“Sometimes.”

Arthur pondered this for a minute. “See, I’m glad you understand that this don’t make no sense. Not logically, anyways. My friends don’t get why I can’t just dump her and be done with it.”

She hummed in acknowledgment. “You don’t really understand it until you go through it. And no, it logically doesn’t make sense. Why would you want the person who always hurts you?” She shook her head in confusion.

Just then, one of Arthur’s friends came up behind him. “Hey _amigo_ let’s take you home.” The man gave a quick nod to Nell, and she offered a smile in return, mouthing _thank you_ to him while Arthur wasn’t looking.

“I’m fine, Javier.” He tried to shrug him off. “Me and Nell was havin’ a conversation.”

Nell giggled behind her hand, “Arthur, tell you what, we’ll pick up this conversation tomorrow ok?”

He considered this, “sure, alright. Thanks Nell.” He gave her a hug over the bar which was not only awkward because of the huge counter between them, but it also took her by surprise.

“G’nite.” He slurred, following Javier as he led him away.

She gave him a small wave, trying to hide her blushing cheeks, “Bye, Arthur.”


	4. Making a Comeback

“Oh my gooddddd” Arthur grabbed his head, sure that it was about to explode. Sunlight filtered through his window, making him squint. He fumbled around the sheets until he found his phone. He saw a text message from Nell on his home screen. _Oh Christ, I hope I didn’t make too much of an ass out of myself last night._ He opened up the message: _Hey Arthur, hope you made it home ok. I’m glad we got to talk last night, and I hope you’re feeling better from last night. Well, at least emotionally…haha. Anyways, let’s catch up later. I’m off work today._

Warmth blossomed in his chest at the fact that she had checked up on him. He checked to see if he had any other messages, scrolling through his phone. He found one from Javier, asking if he was feeling ok this morning, that made him smile too. Nothing from Mary though, and his smile faltered. He fell back against his pillows, huffing in frustration. He picked his phone back up, clicking on Nell’s name, and typed out a message to her: _Hey Nell, thanks for checking up on me. I hope I wasn’t a complete fool last night. Got a little blurry towards the end there, ~~but I enjoyed our talk too~~_

No, that sounded too cheesy, he deleted that part of the message and started typing again: _but I’d like to catch up later. When are you thinking?_

He hit send, holding the phone loosely in his hand. A couple minutes later, it chimed again:

_Nell: Nah, you weren’t **that** much of a fool._

He could almost picture her smirk. He continued reading.

_Nell: Do you want to meet around 1? There’s a coffee shop by my apartment that we could meet at. Here’s the address…_

He clicked on the link she sent, and immediately messaged her back:

_Arthur: That’s right by my place too! I can walk there. I didn’t know we were so close together. Where do you live?_

He realized only after he hit send how creepy that sounded and groaned in embarrassment.

His phone chimed again—

_Nell: Hahaha_

He wiped a hand over his face, glancing at his screen as another message came in from Nell: _I live right outside of Bartow Park, off 6 th and Main. _

_Arthur_ : _Wow, I’m literally two streets over from you._

_Nell_ : _Well how about that? Does this mean I’m gonna have to walk your drunk ass home next time?_

He smiled at that, chuckling lowly.

_Arthur_ : _I don’t plan on getting that drunk again anytime soon, but if that’s an offer, I’ll be glad to take you up on it._

_Nell_ : _Ha! Well I hope that offer goes both ways!_

_Arthur_ : _Now that’s a sight I’d like to see._

_Nell_ : _What? Me drunk?_

_Arthur_ : _Absolutely_

_Nell_ : _Guess you’ll just have to wait and see! I have been known to get particularly rowdy during football games…so fair warning_

_Arthur_ : _Really? I wouldn’t have guessed that you were into football_

_Nell_ : _Oh_ , _I’m full of surprises. So see you at 1?_

_Arthur_ : _I’m sure. Yeah, that sounds good, see you then_

He smiled, putting down his phone, and got out of bed to start getting ready for the day

* * *

He arrived at the exact same time as Nell, holding the door for her as they went inside.

“How’s your head?” she asked after they had walked up to the counter to place their orders. He let out an exhale through his nose, chuckling. “Oh it hurts like hell. But that’s to be expected I suppose.”

She smiled up at him. “I guess that’s sort of my fault isn’t it?” she sniggered. He cracked a grin, “That’s right, you was the one servin’ me last night, huh?”

“Do you not remember?”

“No I do, for the most part. It wasn’t until maybe…my sixth shot? Or seventh? That it started gettin’ fuzzy.” He pondered, trying to remember.

Nell let out a low whistle. “Those were all doubles too. I gotta admit, I was pretty impressed.”

He felt his cheeks and ears grow warm with the compliment, though he wasn’t exactly sure if he should be proud of that or not.

They placed their orders and found a spot by the window. Nell cleared her throat, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs. “I know you didn’t want to talk about it last night, but you seemed pretty down about Mary. Are you ok?”

He sighed, placing his hands on the table and clasping them together loosely. “She got upset wit’ me because she don’t like the way I look.”

Nell’s jaw dropped slightly. “She doesn’t like the way you _look?_ ” She repeated in shock.

Arthur shrugged, “I mean, she thinks I look too _rugged._ Her words, not mine. She thinks I look like I don’t try or somethin’. I don’t know.”

Nell bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from saying something out of anger.

“Arthur, you have absolutely no reason to feel insecure. You are a very handsome man, and I’d be willing to bet she’s projecting her own insecurities onto you.”

He stared at her for a moment. _Handsome?_ His chest tightened.

“You think she’s insecure?” he asked instead.

“Oh, for sure. Almost all abusive partners are.”

“Besides being in an abusive relationship, how do you know all this stuff?” he asked genuinely.

“Research mostly. I’m interested in Psychology and I wanted to figure out why I was feeling the way I was, or maybe learn why my ex acted the way he did.”

Arthur nodded thoughtfully, “I’ve never thought to do that, but then again I never thought Mary was abusive ‘til now.”

He looked down at his hands on the table, and dared to speak to what was really on his mind. “Handsome, huh?” He laughed a little awkwardly, trying to play it off as a joke. He looked back up tentatively at Nell, who was wearing a sweet smile.

“Absolutely.”

His self-deprecating conscience screamed at him until he frowned a little, “You don’t have to say it just to be nice, y’know.”

Nell leaned forward in her chair, moving a little closer to him. “I’m not just saying it to be nice Arthur, I don’t do that kind of thing.” She studied him for a moment. “We need to work on our confidence.” She sighed, looking away for a minute.

His gaze shot back up to hers, “What? Are you saying you _aren’t_ confident??”

She shook her head adamantly, “Hell no, I’ve got plenty to be insecure about.”

Now it was his turn to drop his jaw. “Nell…” he began, trying to figure out how to word this without sounding overly-flirtatious. “You are a stunnin’ woman.” Whoops. He stuttered, trying to recover. She blushed furiously. “Just speakin’ the truth.” He shrugged, trying to act casual. But it was genuine, because it _was_ the truth. He didn’t mean to flirt, but he realized it was pretty damn hard for him _not_ to flirt around this girl, whether he realized he was doing it or not.

“Besides, it ain’t just about looks.” He continued, “you’re a hell of a lot more than just that.”

Their coffee arrived, and he inwardly thanked the server for saving him from the embarrassing situation that was his poor conversation skills.

She smiled before she took a sip of her coffee. “Well thank you, Arthur.” She spoke softly now, holding the steaming cup in her hands. He gave her a slight nod, sipping his own drink.

The rest of their time together took a more comfortable turn, where they talked about their work-lives and possible plans for the coming weekend. An hour or so passed. They were still engrossed in conversation until they heard a rumble of thunder outside the shop. Nell peeked out the window and was surprised to find that the sky had turned an ominous gray. “I didn’t think it was supposed to storm today.” She said while still looking at the clouds. Arthur sighed in annoyance, “Me neither, I can’t do much work with the horses if it’s stormin’.” He was about to ask if she was working later tonight, if maybe he could swing by the bar and see her, when her phone chimed. She pulled it out of her jeans pocket, releasing a breath when she saw the screen.

She looked conflicted, and Arthur was about to ask if she was ok when she suddenly stood up, still clutching her cell in her hand. “I’m sorry, I’ll be right back. I’ve got to make a call.”

Arthur nodded, his eyes trailing after her as she stepped outside and put her phone to her ear. She looked annoyed, putting her hand to her forehead in apparent frustration. After a couple minutes, she hung up and headed back inside.

“You ok, Nell?”

“Yea, that was my neighbor. Apparently my ex is waiting outside my apartment.”


	5. Frustration

“You’re kiddin.” Arthur said in disbelief. “You want me to come wit’ you?”

Nell let out an exasperated sigh, grabbing her wallet off the table. “I’m worried that would set him off.”

“Set him off?”

“He…can be possessive.”

“You ain’t his girl no more.” His voice lowered just a bit, anger starting to seep in.

“No, I’m not. But apparently he doesn’t realize that.” She pushed her chair back in, stooping down to give Arthur a quick hug. “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you after, ok?”

Nell straightened back up and started heading towards the exit. Arthur got up from his seat, catching up with her.

“Now hang on a minute Nell, this don’t seem right.”

Nell stopped, turning to face him. “What do you mean? This isn’t the first time he’s done this.”

“What?? He follows you?”

“No…he just..” she trailed off. “I don’t know. He just pops by sometimes.”

“ _Pops by?_ ” Arthur asked, that anger from before starting to return in earnest. “Why you bein’ so casual about this?” Arthur continued, following Nell out the front door.

“I’ve known him a long time, Arthur. He’s a coward, he won’t do anythin’ to me.”

“Cowards are the most dangerous, Nell! I don’t trust this feller.”

She rolled her eyes, starting to get frustrated. “Look Arthur, I really appreciate it, but I’m _fine._ I’ll text you later ok?”

Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright, sure. Just be careful ok?”

“I will.”

He watched her look both ways before crossing the street, then rounding a corner until she was out of his sight. He felt panic well inside his chest. He briefly wondered if this is how Nell felt after Mary had called him on their date.

* * *

“Hey” Nell spoke softly once she reached her door. She got a good look at him, all sorts of emotions bubbling up inside her. It had been a while since she’d last seen him.

“Nellie…” he stepped forward, wrapping her in a hug. She found herself hugging him back.

“What’re you doin’ here, Chris?”

“I’m uh…I’m here to talk to you.” He paused, gauging her reaction.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes a little. “You coulda just called me.”

“This is important.” His shoulders fell, and he took a deep breath before continuing. Nell waited patiently. “My brother died.”

“ _What?_ ” Nell gasped, bringing her hands up to her mouth. “Oh my god, Chris I’m so sorry.”

He covered his face with his hand, choking back tears.

“What happened?”

“He was hit by a drunk driver. Happened last night.”

Nell knew Chris’s brother well. He had gone to school with them after she had moved here from Georgia around the age of 16. He was three years younger than Chris, and the two were very close.

He stumbled back into her arms, his body now heaving with heavy sobs. She threaded her fingers into his hair, shushing him quietly.

“You wanna come in for a little while?” she asked him, pressing a tender kiss to his temple to comfort him.

He nodded against her shoulder weakly.

“Ok, c’mon.” she gently took his hand, unlocking her door and leading him inside.

That’s when the sky broke, torrents of water falling to the pavement below. Nell turned back around, letting go of Chris’s hand. Lightning illuminated her little apartment, casting shadows across his face. Something twisted in her gut, a feeling of unease. She pushed it aside. _He needed her right now._

* * *

Arthur sat at home, staring at his phone. He rubbed his eyes in agitation before turning his attention to the storm outside his window. He thought of Nell, alone with her ex. Anger surged through him. He’d always had a temper but even this surprised him, how easily he angered when thinking about her ex-boyfriend. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew how a man’s brain worked. There are really only a couple of reasons why an ex would show back up at a girl’s doorstep, and he had a feeling this guy wasn’t there to collect his old belongings.

He looked at his phone again, hoping that maybe he was just misjudging this situation. It always helped to get other opinions right? Maybe the other guys could help ease his anxieties. He created a group message with John, Javier, Lenny and Charles:

_Arthur: Hey fellers, I’ve got a question._

_John: Shoot_

_Charles: Sure, what’s up?_

_Arthur: So Nell and I were having coffee together when she got a text from her neighbor saying her ex was outside her apartment. I’m worried this guy doesn’t have good intentions. What do y’all think?_

_Javier: Yikes_

_John: Oh he’s 100% after her pussy_

_Javier: CHRIST, John!_

_Lenny: Man, you’re revolting_

_John: I’m just tellin’ it like it is, damn!_

_Charles: Coulda worked on the word choice there John, but yea I think you’re right._

_Arthur: Ugh. That’s what I thought. Also John, you’re disgusting._

_John: Hey we were all thinkin’ it. I know you fellers ain’t dumb._

_Arthur: What do I do?_

_Charles: That’s a tough one. I mean after the way you left her on your date I don’t know if you have much room to say anything…_

_Javier: Agreed._

_Arthur: Ok yea, but at least I wasn’t after Mary’s…you know._

_John: C’mon, you can’t tell us you weren’t at least **thinking** about it when you went over to her place_

_Arthur: What??_

_John: I mean I wouldn’t blame ya…_

_Lenny: Dude, shut up. You’re making this worse_

_Arthur: John, you’re lucky you ain’t in front of me right now or I’d punch ya_

_John: Meh._

_Javier: Look brother, I think we all know what this guy is after, as John so eloquently put it…but I’m not sure if it’s your place to say something to her_

_John: I did put it eloquently, thank you Javier. And Arthur, he’s right. It would look a tad hypocritical_

_Lenny: Not that you know anything about being a hypocrite John…_

_John: Why is everyone gangin’ up on me??_

_Arthur: Cuz it’s easy_

_Arthur: Anyways, thanks fellers. I’ll try to back off a bit_

Arthur threw his phone down on the couch and sighed. They were right….he wasn’t really being fair to Nell, was he?

Later that night he headed over to Mary’s place and cooked dinner for her. She hovered around him, placing kisses on the back of his broad shoulders. They had resolved their little argument from the previous week. Mary had apologized, saying work had been stressful lately, so she had taken it out on him. At least she admitted she shouldn’t have done it, right? That was good enough for Arthur.

After dinner, she helped him clean up and then plopped down on the couch to find a movie for them to watch. He sat down next to her, putting his arm behind her so she could lean back into him. He felt his phone vibrate, and upon taking it out, realized he’d gotten a text from Nell. A small smile crept onto his lips at seeing her name.

_Nell: Hey Arthur, sorry for taking so long to text you. I had a great time getting coffee with you today! Chris had come by to tell me that his brother had gotten killed by a drunk driver last night. This is pretty devastating for both of us, cuz I knew him well. Chris is gonna stay with me for a few days until he’s feeling better. I just wanted to let you know. I’ll be working tomorrow night if you and your friends wanna stop by :)_

Arthur removed his arm from behind Mary’s head, chewing his lip in thought. He tried to think of how to reply.

_Arthur: Hey Nell, I’m real sorry to hear about Chris’s brother. That’s terrible news. I’m here if you need anything at all. ~~I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now~~ ~~but are you sure it’s a good idea for him to stay with you?~~_

He heard John’s voice in his head calling him a hypocrite, so he re-worded the latter half of his message: _I’m not sure if I’ll be free tomorrow night to swing by the bar, but maybe some other time. Take care_

He hit send. He needed to back off, this wasn’t his place.

Mary looked at him, “who’re you texting?”

Arthur put his phone away and returned his arm to the top of the couch. “Just a friend.”

“A friend?”

“Yea darlin’. What movie you wanna watch?” He tried to steer the conversation away from Nell.

She faced forward again, clenching her jaw. She picked up the remote and started scrolling through the options.

“What’s wrong?” he asked tentatively.

“Nothing.” Came her curt reply.

 _Here we go._ He thought bitterly.

“I’m sorry if I did somethin’ to upset you.”

“You didn’t. I’m fine. Let’s just watch a movie.”

Arthur knew better than to push these things so he just let it drop. “Sure, ok.”


	6. Growing Closer

The next few weeks Arthur didn’t see or hear from Nellie much, trying his damndest to give her space, even though that was about the hardest thing in the world for him to do right now. It was a stark contrast to what he had grown used to, which was texting her pretty much every day. Finally, when he just couldn’t take it anymore, he stopped by the bar after work one night. He found her behind the counter.

“Hey Arthur!” she waved at him, coming around the bar to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her earnestly.

“Hey Nell” he gave her a warm smile, “how you doin’?”

She shrugged, “I’ve been ok. I went with Chris to his brother’s service a couple weeks ago which was really hard.”

“I’m so sorry. Losin’ someone ain’t ever easy.”

She gave a little huff through her nose, giving him a sad smile. “No it’s not. The funeral was really tough, but things are looking up for now.”

“Oh yeah?” he was really scared of what she might be about to say.

“Yeah. Things are a little complicated with Chris, but I’m honestly really glad to have him back in my life.”

_Shit._

He faked a smile, “I’m real happy for you.”

His heart hurt. He had never felt such care and worry for a friend before. It confused him.

“Thanks, Arthur.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze before going back behind the bar.

He leaned against the counter, staring into space.

“You want a drink?”

“Nah, I’m ok, thank you though.”

She cleared her throat before speaking again, “I’m off work in about half an hour. You wanna maybe hang out for a little bit?”

He looked up at her, refocusing his gaze. “Sure.”

* * *

They walked down the sidewalk towards Bartow Park, his hands stuffed into his pockets awkwardly. She let her hair down from its ponytail, combing her fingers through it. He could smell her fragrant shampoo, making him weak in the knees. _Christ, he shouldn’t be feeling this way towards a friend, right?_

“You ok? You’re kinda quiet tonight.” She looked up at him with her big grey eyes. _Oh god. Get it together you fool._

“Oh, uh—yea. Yea I’m fine.” He stared at his shoes as they walked. “Hey, um, Mary wants to go out more, you think it would be ok if I took her to the bar sometime? Maybe you could meet her?”

She tensed for just a second, but he felt it. “Yea, ‘course.” She paused before continuing. “How’re things goin’ with her?”

He scratched his beard. “They’re real good actually. She just got a promotion at work, so I figured I should take her out for a drink to celebrate.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Arthur.” He watched her pretty lips curve into a smile. _So she’s attractive. So what? You can be attracted to a friend. Not a big deal._

“Heh, thanks.” He laughed awkwardly. They took a few more steps in silence.

“You still workin’ at that little lunch spot?” he ventured.

“No, actually put my notice in last week. My boss offered me a raise at the bar so I don’t need the extra money anymore.” She smiled.

“Nell that’s great! Congratulations!” he said excitedly.

She laughed, wrapping her arm through his good-naturedly, “I think you’re more excited about it than I am! Thank you Arthur. That’s sweet of you.”

He chuckled sheepishly, “Sorry, just happy for you. You deserve it, you work hard.”

She gave his arm a squeeze, “Why’re you apologizin’?”

He scrunched his eyebrows in thought, “I don’t know. Just thought maybe I came on too strong is all.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that, Arthur! I’m glad you support me.”

“I’ll always support you.”

They walked around the park for a while, catching up on things that had happened over the past few weeks. Arthur realized that time always seemed to slip away when he was with Nellie, and the next time he checked his phone, it was after 1 AM. He offered to walk her home, which she gratefully accepted.

After they said their goodbyes, Arthur headed back to his own home. His head was a tangle of thoughts about Nell. He felt so damn guilty. As he reached his door, he got a text from Mary asking if he was awake.

_Arthur: Yea, what’s up? You ok?_

_Mary: Can I come over?_

_Arthur: Sure, I’ll leave the door unlocked_

She was there within ten minutes, pressing herself into him insistently. Her hands wandered down his strong back, tugging at the hem of his shirt before pushing him down onto the couch. She straddled him, her lips moving languidly against his own. When they finally joined, he was ashamed to realize that he wasn’t thinking of Mary, he was thinking of Nell.

* * *

The next morning, Mary was gone. She’d left a note saying she had to leave early for work. He rolled over onto his side, smoothing out the space in the sheets where her body had lain the night before. _What was wrong with him?! Thinking about Nell while making love to Mary?? What kind of sick bastard was he?_ He groaned aloud, fumbling blindly for his phone. He needed to text Charles. He always knew what to say about this kind of stuff.

_Arthur: Hey I need your advice_

_Charles: Sure_

_Arthur: I think I….like Nell_

_Charles: Like? As in more than a friend?_

_Arthur: Yes_

_Charles: Wow. Does Mary know about her?_

_Arthur: No, of course not. She would flip out_

_Charles: Ok, here’s what you do_

_Arthur: What?_

_Charles: You let this go_

_Arthur: Let it go??_

_Charles: You can’t do anything about this, Arthur. You’re with Mary, which was your choice. And you said Nell’s ex is back in the picture. This is way too messy._

_Arthur: Yea I know. It makes me feel like such a bastard._

_Charles: You’re not at all. It feels good to be valued for who you are, and Nell seems to do that. After what you’ve been through with Mary, I don’t blame you for catching feelings. But you **chose** to get back with Mary, now you gotta live with the consequences of that choice. Be it good or bad. Either you break up with her, or you stay with Mary and try to get over your feelings for Nell_

_Arthur: Goddamnit_

_Charles: I know this is hard to hear too, but there’s a very real possibility that Nell will get back with her ex. You know how we all feel about Mary, but I also know that seeing someone you like with someone else really hurts. If you broke up with Mary right now, and then Nell got back with her ex, what would you do?_

_Arthur: I…don’t know_

_Charles: Yes you do. You’d run right back to Mary, because that’s what you know and that’s what’s comfortable._

_Arthur: Well….in the very off chance that Nellie feels the same way about me too, what do I do then?_

_Charles: Then you talk about it._

_Arthur: Ok. Thanks, Charles. I feel a bit better now._

_Charles: Good. Keep me updated_

_He was a goddamn fool. Poor Nell didn’t deserve this. Neither did Mary. How pathetic that he would just latch onto the first woman to show him tenderness and kindness._

* * *

“Well this is awkward.”

“Yeah, thanks for the input John.” Arthur grumbled as he sat across from his friends at a table at the back of the bar.

“Did you really have to tell all of them Charles?” He continued.

Charles sheepishly looked back at Arthur, “I actually only told John.”

“Well that was your first mistake.” Arthur murmured lowly. He put his head in his hands, groaning.

“Arthur, this is kind of a big deal. You have a crush on someone other than Mary for the first time in years.” John pointed out.

“Don’t call it a ‘crush’ Marston, I ain’t a child.”

John shrugged. “Just sayin’.”

Lenny sighed, scratching his head. “Whatchu gonna do?”

Arthur looked down at the table miserably. “What can I do? Charles is probably right that Nell will get back with her ex. I’m sure these feelings will pass when I see them back together. For now, I’m gonna just focus completely on Mary.”

John groaned, “not that either of those are good strategies, but I think the latter is worse.”

Javier chuckled, “John you aren’t in a place to be giving advice about relationships.”

“Now that ain’t fair. I’m actually back with Abigail.” He gave a smug smile, seemingly quite proud of himself. Everyone at the table looked pleasantly surprised.

“Ah, well congrats Marston.” Arthur said, “don’t fuck it up this time.”

John frowned at him.

Just then Mary entered the bar, wearing a casual form fitting dress.

The guys all looked up.

John gave a low whistle, which prompted Arthur to slap his arm.

“Will you, for five seconds, not be such a pig.” Arthur scolded.

“I’m just tryin’ to lighten the tension.”

Mary saw them, her face falling when she saw the other guys. She walked over, placing a kiss on Arthur’s cheek.

She cordially said her hellos to everyone.

“So Mary just got a promotion at work, and I thought it would be a good idea to celebrate with a drink.” Arthur put his arm around her proudly. Mary leaned into him like a cat.

John slapped his forehead before grabbing Arthur’s arm and hauling him up to the bar. “We’ll get the drinks!” he called back.

“What the hell are you thinkin’ bringin’ her here?!” John asked, exasperated.

“Well, I already asked Nell and if I’m gonna try to get over this little ‘crush’ as you called it, then I figured I should spend more time with Mary. Plus, she wanted to go out to celebrate.” Arthur explained, arms folded across his chest.

“But _here??”_ John continued.

“This is the only bar in town!”

“Ok fine, that’s true.” John conceded.

They both turned towards the counter, leaning down on their elbows. Nell came out of the kitchen, holding fresh glasses. “Hey guys!” she greeted them cheerfully.

“Hi Nell” Arthur smiled and gave her a little wave.

John put their drink orders in.

“What do you think Mary wants, Arthur?” John asked.

“Oh, Mary’s here?” Nell asked, eyes widening a fraction.

“Yea, we’re celebrating her promotion.” He explained, before continuing to John, “I don’t know, probably Rosé? Champagne?”

John wrinkled his nose which prompted a chuckle from Nell.

“I’ll meet y’all back at the table. I’ve got a couple more customers ahead of you.” She nodded, and then they walked back to their friends.

Mary took Arthur’s hand in hers, stroking her thumb over his under the table. She noticed his leg bouncing anxiously.

“What’s wrong?” she asked quietly.

“Oh, nothin’ I’m fine. Just had a weird day at work is all.”

John was wringing his hands on the table. Hell, he was nervous _for_ Arthur.

“So Mary, how’s life treatin’ you these days?” Lenny asked politely.

She smiled, happy to talk about herself before divulging in conversation with him.

Arthur brought his hat down lower on his head, trying to make himself invisible. Now that he thought about it, this was probably actually a terrible idea. Maybe he should have just said to hell with going out and gotten champagne to bring to her house.

Nell came over to the table, carrying their drinks on her server’s platter.

“Congrats on your promotion” Nell said sweetly.

Mary returned her smile, thanking her as she handed everyone their drinks.

“Thanks Nell” Charles said.

“Oh, do you guys know each other?” Mary asked nonchalantly as she took a sip of her fizzy drink.

Nell tucked her platter under her arm, shooting Arthur an uneasy glance.

Charles continued, “Yea, Nell’s a friend of ours. We met her when we started coming here.”

Mary looked to Arthur, who just gave her a small smile. “Yea, we just started coming here recently actually. Since that other bar a few blocks over shut down.”

Although by recently he really meant about 3 months.

Mary stuck her hand out and shook Nell’s hand, “Well it’s nice to meet you Nell. I’m Mary, Arthur’s girlfriend.”

John rolled his eyes subtly.

“Nice to meet you.” Nell nodded at Mary.

“Well guys if you need me just come up to the bar. Enjoy your drinks. Congrats again.” Nell turned around and headed back up front.

“Hmm, pretty girl.” Mary acknowledged before taking another drink.

Arthur released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“You ok, Arthur?” Mary asked.

“Oh yea. Yea I’m fine. Mmmhm.” Arthur started stuttering, which he did when he got nervous. It usually gave him away.

Mary narrowed her eyes at him quizzically.

John shot up again and grabbed Arthur, “I need to tell Arthur somethin’!” He yanked his arm and pulled him outside the bar.

Arthur doubled over laughing, “that was about the worst excuse to get out of a situation that I’ve ever heard you use.”

John joined in, “Well at least I got you smilin’.”

“You know, Marston, for bein’ an annoyin’ ass about half the time, you’re a good friend.” Arthur said as he tried to catch his breath from laughing.

John feigned offense, “Well just because I know bein’ nice to me is so hard for you, I’ll take it.” He grinned.

“God I am such a dumbass.” Arthur laughed once more before a look of worry returned to his face.

“You’re just realizin’ this _now??_ ”

Arthur scowled at John, which caused the latter to let out another small chuckle.

“Look, it coulda been worse. Right?”

“Sure.” He sighed before taking a deep breath. “I don’t really wanna go back to the table right now.” He admitted.

“Me neither. Wanna take a couple shots?” John asked with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Sure, why not?”

Right before they reached the bar, Arthur turned back around, “I feel kinda bad to leave the rest of ‘em like that.”

“Ah, they’ll be fine. We won’t be gone that long.” John answered.

They walked up to the bar. John waved down Nell and asked for two shots of whiskey.

Nell tried to cover a laugh with her hand. Arthur grinned stupidly, “what’s so funny?”

She put a hand to her chest, letting a few laughs escape. “You look so scared right now.”

Arthur chuckled along with her. “That’s cuz I _am._ ”

“She’s gorgeous.” Nell said, looking back towards the table.

Arthur shifted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry if this is weird for you.”

Nellie shrugged, “It’s not, I mean I was definitely a bit nervous to meet her.”

“Why were you nervous?” Arthur asked, surprised.

“Cuz it’s your girlfriend! I want to make a good impression!” She laughed softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She continued in that soft voice, “Plus I care about what you think of me, so I didn’t want to embarrass you or anything.”

He stared at her for a minute, until she cleared her throat and turned around, looking for the whiskey.

“I gotta go grab some from the back. We’re out up here, I’ll be back in a sec.”

John snapped in front of Arthur’s face, making Arthur blink and turn towards his friend.

“Did you hear that??” John asked, his eyebrows wiggling.

“What? That she was nervous to meet Mary?”

“No you dolt. She cares about what you think of her. And she was nervous to meet your _girlfriend._ If I know anything about women—”

“Which isn’t much” Arthur interrupted.

John looked at him, annoyed. “As I was saying, If I know anything about women, I think her feelings towards you may not be totally platonic.”

Arthur felt his heart speed up tenfold, before resting his head in his hands and groaning in annoyance. “Christ John, don’t give me hope like that.”

“I’m not! I’m just observin’.” John justified.

Nell came back out with two bottles of whiskey. She cracked one open and poured Arthur and John a shot.

They threw them back immediately.

“You know what, let’s drink to your raise, Nellie.” Arthur said with a lazy grin, holding his shot glass out for a refill.

She gave him just about the sweetest smile he’d ever seen anyone give.

“Ok, but I can’t get caught drinking during my shift.” She said secretly.

She looked around before taking out another glass from beneath the counter and poured them all a shot of whiskey.

“To Nell!” John shouted

“To Nell” Arthur said a bit more quietly, staring at those big grey eyes of hers. He couldn’t help smiling whenever he looked in her direction.

She laughed a little, holding up her glass.

“Cheers!”


	7. Anger Management

The next couple weeks Arthur tried to focus more on Mary, but it was _hard._ The more he tried to distance himself from Nell, the stronger his feelings grew. This was having the opposite effect than he had intended. They still texted often, but Arthur tried to stay busier lately. Unfortunately for him, Mary’s work schedule had gotten busier with her recent promotion, so whenever he wasn’t at work, most days now he’d spend at home bored out of his mind.

Nell had invited him to her friend Angie’s birthday party that night at the bar.

Oh how he wanted to go. Mary wasn’t available tonight anyways, so he guessed it wouldn’t hurt….it had been a while and he was itching to see Nellie again.

“Arthur! So glad you could come.” She bounded up to him, giving him a warm hug. He could smell the alcohol on her breath and when she pulled away he noticed what she was wearing. He gulped forcefully. She was wearing a tight, black minidress and strapped heels. Apparently girls got dressed up for birthday parties? If he knew what was good for him he would leave after wishing a happy birthday to Angie but he didn’t have much resolve when it came to being around Nell. _Shit, what have you gotten yourself into, Morgan?_

Nell was quite tipsy, taking Arthur’s hand and leading him over to her group of friends. “Everyone, this is Arthur.” She beamed proudly, almost showing him off. He nodded at everyone, giving polite hellos. Before he knew it, Angie, the birthday girl, was shoving a shot into his hand. “You gotta drink with us, Arthur.” _Oh lord._

Nell noticed his reluctance, and gave him a nudge. He turned towards her as she downed her shot, only wincing slightly, and leaned into him. “C’monnnn” she gave him one of her dazzling smiles and he took the shot without another thought. He looked around the bar before turning to Angie, “you guys shut down the bar for the night or somethin’?”

She gave him a smile before taking another shot. “Yea, our boss is super cool. He lets us do this for our birthdays.”

Arthur hummed in acknowledgement, and soon they were all joining in a birthday toast to Angie.

An hour ticked by, and Arthur was definitely starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. He had loosened up considerably, and was starting to stare at Nell more and more without much shame. She walked over to him, looking like a damn panther in that black dress. She plucked his hat off his head and put it on her own. “You look like a proper cowboy.” She mused, feigning his signature grumpy scowl that he usually saved for John. He laughed at her with his black gambler hat on her head, and couldn’t help but think how damn cute she looked.

Finally, she returned his hat and plopped down on a stool next to him. “You havin’ fun?” she asked excitedly.

“Havin’ a great time. I like your friends.”

“Good! They like you!”

That felt good to hear. Really good.

She threw her head back as she took another shot, offering Arthur one as well. He happily accepted, downing it quickly.

“You know what I realized?” she said drunkenly

“What’s that?”

“I never got your last name. And we’ve been friends for like 4 months now.” She laughed.

His eyes widened, “Oh my god you’re right.”

She chuckled again, putting her hand on his shoulder when she started to wobble. He put his hands out to steady her, even though he was starting to feel wobbly too.

“My last name is Morgan.” He supplied.

She smirked, “Hmm, I like that. Arthur Morgan.”

He had to admit, he sure liked the sound of his name on her tongue.

“My last name is Anderson.” She said, locking her eyes onto his.

He couldn’t think of a reply, couldn’t think of anything really. Not with those big beautiful doe eyes staring at him. Her lips parted slightly, and with her cheeks flushed from the alcohol, he had to fight his instincts to lean down and kiss her.

The door opened, and before Arthur could do anything, he saw some guy come up to Nell, scowling. He was tall, but not as tall as Arthur. He was wearing a black T-shirt, his arm sporting an entire tattoo sleeve. Normally, Arthur didn’t have a problem with tattoos, but this guy made it look sleazy. He knew who he was as soon as he laid eyes on him. This was undoubtedly Chris.

“Nellie, you’ve had too much to drink.” Chris ran his hands through his thick, dark hair. He huffed in annoyance.

“No I haven’t, I’ve been celebrating with Angie.” She looked up at him, spinning around on her stool.

Chris reached out to stop her from moving. She frowned at him.

Arthur could feel his anger bubbling up inside him.

“Stop moving. I tried calling you like twenty times.”

She looked truly guilty, and she had no reason to be, Arthur thought.

“Sorry, I don’t have my phone on me.”

“What do I always say?”

She shrugged, looking at the floor.

He took her chin in his hand, making her look at him. “What do I always say? Always keep your phone on you.”

Arthur had had enough and stood up, “Hey don’t touch her like that.”

Chris dropped his hand from Nell’s face, and scoffed as he turned to look at Arthur.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I ain’t nobody. But you don’t get to talk to her like that.”

“ _Excuse me?”_ He narrowed his eyes, his voice rising with anger.

“Chris stop.” Nellie weakly grabbed for his hand but he swatted her away.

“Stay out of this, Nell.” He snapped.

Arthur’s fists clenched at his sides, his anger growing substantially. He was about to lose it on this guy.

“Have you been drinking again?” she asked meekly.

“My brother just _died_ , Nellie. I am allowed to _drink._ ” He scorned her, before adding, “besides you’re drinkin’ aren’t you? Why are you allowed to drink and I’m not, huh?”

Angie walked over when she heard the commotion, grabbing Nell’s shoulders. She stood over her friend protectively.

“Nell, I think you should come with me.” Angie whispered.

“This doesn’t concern you Angie.” Chris said lowly.

“Damn right it doesn’t. This is my party. You need to leave before I call security.” Angie spat at him before gingerly lifting Nell off the stool, wrapping an arm around her and leading her safely away from Chris. Arthur’s eyes followed Nell, his jaw clenching.

Chris ran a hand over his face wearily before he turned his attention fully back to Arthur.

“Why you lookin’ at my girl like that?”

“She ain’t your girl.” Arthur snapped back, his patience on its last measly threads.

“ _Really?_ Sure seemed like she was the other night when I was _fuckin’_ her.” Chris sneered, watching Arthur’s eyes flash with loathing. He continued, “oh you’d like that wouldn’t you? You’d like to put your cock into her, is that it?”

That did it, and Arthur pushed Chris, hard.

“Watch your mouth, boy.”

Chris smiled, realizing he had hit a nerve with Arthur.

“What’s your name, buddy?” Chris wiped a hand over his jaw, pacing around.

Arthur only narrowed his eyes in reply.

“You deaf? I asked WHAT’S YOUR NAME?” Chris yelled, his own patience wearing thin.

“You’re a real sonuvabitch, aintcha?” Arthur gritted his teeth.

Chris stopped pacing, giving Arthur a deadly glance. He was still waiting for his name.

“It’s Arthur.” He ground out.

“Ok Arthur, well when I see some asshole watchin’ my girl like he wants to fuck her I get a little on edge. So why don’t you turn around and get the fuck out of here before someone gets hurt?”

“You sure are a proud bastard.” Arthur laughed “You don’t deserve Nell. You’re a real piece of sh—”

Chris punched him in the jaw, catching Arthur by surprise. He grabbed his face, eyes going wide. He cursed under his breath, and all he could see was red.

He lunged back at Chris, hooking him violently on his cheekbone.

He realized what this guy was doing, and he wasn’t proud of himself for falling for it. He didn’t want Nell to see him like this. Didn’t want her to see that he sometimes had a temper. Not that he would ever direct it at her.

Chris spat blood onto the ground, cracking his neck and putting his fists back up.

_This guy was a joke._

Arthur came at him again, dodging Chris’s right fist but catching his left in the stomach. He huffed before pushing Chris back. He got three consecutive punches in, his anger completely enveloping him. He would’ve kept going if Nell hadn’t cried out.

“Stop! Please, stop!”

Arthur looked up, chest heaving and knuckles bloodied.

Nell was crying, head in her hands. _Oh fuck, now you’ve really done it, Morgan._

Chris was laying on the floor, heaving. Snorting out bull’s breaths as he looked up at Arthur.

“Get out.” Angie said coolly in their direction. When neither of them moved, she said it again. “I SAID GET OUT.”

Arthur flinched, swallowing hard and giving Nell one last look before starting to head to the door.

“Not you.” Angie’s voice stopped him, and he turned around, staring at her in disbelief.

She directed her venom back at Chris, “Get out or I’m calling security.”

“No need to do that, Angie. I’m leaving.” Chris muttered. He got up, dusted himself off, and stared daggers at Arthur as he made his way to the exit. He bumped his shoulder hard when he passed by him.

Arthur just clenched his jaw, trying to remain unaffected.

Once Chris had left, Arthur released a breath, rushing back over to Nell.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have punched him back.”

She sobbed, flinging herself into his arms. She was sitting on another stool, so she just buried her face into his chest.

He gently wrapped one hand behind her head, and the other around her shoulders, looking up at Angie to speak.

“Angie, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your party like this.”

She shook her head, putting her hand out in a placating gesture.

“It wasn’t you, Arthur. Chris gets bad when he drinks. This isn’t the first time he’s picked a fight with someone.”

“Jesus.”

Nell sniffled, turning her face towards Angie, “Can I stay with you tonight?” she asked quietly.

“Sure hon, of course.” Angie ran a comforting hand up and down her friend’s back.

Arthur stroked his hand through Nellie’s hair, finding it pleasantly soft. “You gonna be ok?” He asked gently.

She nodded, wiping the heels of her hands under her eyes, effectively smearing her mascara everywhere.

“I’m so sorry.” She mumbled.

“You don’t need to be apologizin’, Nell. This wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was, I felt bad cuz his brother died and he took advantage of my kindness and…and—” she hiccupped another small sob. Arthur pulled her head back into his chest, shushing her quietly.

“You’re ok sweetheart. This ain’t your fault.”

Her hands tightened into his jacket.

“Are you mad at me?” she sounded like a scorned child, and it broke his heart.

“No, of course not. Why would I be mad at you??” he was baffled.

“Cuz I’m a fuckin’ hypocrite.” Her voice started to waver again.

“Hey, darlin’ look at me.” He grabbed a stool opposite hers and pulled it up next to Nell. She didn’t look up, too ashamed to look into his eyes right now.

She felt the rough pads of his thumbs gently cup her cheeks, lifting her eyes to his. He’d shifted a little so that he faced her more head on from this angle.

“You ain’t no hypocrite.”

She scoffed, but wrapped her small hands around his big ones as they held her face, rubbing her thumb in circles on his skin.

“You remember what you told me when we first met?” he asked.

“No” she mumbled.

“You said it don’t make no sense why we feel the way we do about these people. You said it ain’t ever easy to let them go. You know just as well as I do how addicting this kind of relationship can be. So please don’t blame yourself. And don’t ever think for a second that I’d be mad at you for this. I just want you to be safe.”

She broke back into loud sobs again, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Why’re you so nice to me, Arthur?”

“Cuz I care about you. You’re my friend, Nell.” As much as he wished their relationship could be something more, he would always be her friend first. He felt her take a few deep breaths.

She leaned back, her tears finally starting to subside. She put her hand on top of his, and he turned it over and intertwined his fingers with hers. She looked up at him again with those beautiful grey eyes.

“I think I’d rather stay with you tonight.” She whispered shyly before breaking eye contact and looking at their joined hands.

Arthur stuttered, taken aback. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, darlin’. You’ve had a lot to drink.” As much as he would love to have her stay with him, he wanted her to be sober the first few times. Not that he would ever take advantage of her in this brittle state, he’d never been that kind of man. But it just wasn’t right.

“I promise I’ll be good. I’ll just go to sleep.” She still wouldn’t meet his eyes.

He chuckled, “I’m sure you’d be just fine, sweetheart. But it don’t look good. Mary would be…very upset with me.”

Nell snatched her hand out of his, finally meeting his gaze. He instantly missed the warmth of her palm against his.

“I’m so sorry, Arthur. I don’t know how I didn’t even think of that.” Nell’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

He reached out for her but thought better of it and put his hand back in his lap. “No, no it’s ok. You didn’t do nothin’ wrong. I just…don’t want to upset her. It’s not you, Nell, ok?”

“Ok…” she whispered.

Angie came back to Nellie’s side, gently grabbing her hand. “You ready to go?”

Nell nodded numbly, awkwardly getting off the stool. Arthur put his hands out to steady her when she stumbled a little bit.

“Thank you Arthur. You’re a really good guy.” Nell gave his hand a squeeze before heading for the door with Angie.

“I appreciate it, Arthur.” Angie gave him a nod.

He waved to them as they left. He was left with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Still sitting on that damn stool at the counter of the bar. He looked down at his bloodied and bruised knuckles, and heaved out a sigh.

* * *

_Hey Nellie, I cannot say enough how sorry I am for last night. I let my anger get the better of me, and I wish you hadn’t seen that. I know you must be pretty shaken up after yesterday. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m always here_

_-Arthur_

Nell awoke in Angie’s bed and rolled over to check her phone. She smiled, seeing the message from Arthur. While last night had been terrifying, that’s not really what she found herself thinking about at the moment. She thought that Arthur had looked so _good_ last night…not that he didn't usually. Quite the contrary actually. She just….couldn’t shake the feeling that came over her when they were sitting next to each other, before Chris had come in and ruined everything. She could swear she had seen him starting to lean in…and jesus did he look handsome. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes—a unique concoction of blue and green watching her with such focus…it made her shiver. But after last night, something changed. Maybe it was because he defended her when Chris was saying such filthy things, or maybe it was the way he held her and spoke to her so gently. She realized she was starting to see him as more than just a friend. But he was with Mary, and she was with…well it’s complicated. As much as she had wanted to grab him by his jacket lapels and crush her lips to his last night, even in her drunken state, she knew it’d be wrong. He probably didn’t even feel the same way about her…and how could she compete with Mary’s looks?

* * *

Arthur was itching to see Nell, wanted to check and make sure she was ok. He found himself worrying about her a lot nowadays. With Chris back in the picture he felt concerned for her safety. He wondered if he had ever hit her…the thought made his blood boil.

He had texted her that morning, and hadn’t really expected a reply. Without anything else to do, he decided to go to the barn and work with some of the horses. He wasn’t scheduled today, but he needed to blow off some steam, and being around horses always helped. He clambered into his truck, making his way to the ranch on the outskirts of town.

* * *

“Easy girl, you’re ok.” Arthur held up his hands as he approached a young mare he had been working on breaking lately. She snorted, stamping her hooves in the desert sand. He reached up and stroked his hands across her muscled neck. “Good girl” he cooed in her ear. He saddled her up and hopped onto her back, leading her to the roundpen. She was getting surprisingly better with him being on her, he hadn’t been working with her all that long and he was very happy with how quickly she was coming along. He started her off in a slow trot, gradually working up into the canter until he felt her start to tire out. After another few minutes he gave her a walking break when he felt a buzzing against his hip. He pulled out his phone, finding a text message from Nell, and opened it eagerly.

She wanted to see him, to hang out. He was more than ok with that.

_Arthur: I’m just finishing up with a horse right now but lemme get home and grab a shower and I’ll come see you._

_Nell: You’re at the barn? Is it ok if I come there instead?_

It made him happy that she would want to come visit him at work, it was something that Mary had never done.

_Arthur: Of course, here’s the address…_

* * *

Nell got out of her car, waving to get Arthur’s attention. He noted she seemed solemn and sluggish today, which was understandable. He dismounted and hitched the horse before walking towards her. He took his hat off, wiping his brow before returning it to his head. She gave him one of her little half smiles and started walking with more purpose.

“Hey” he gave her a sad smile, before adding sheepishly, “you might not wanna hug me, I’m pretty sweaty and gross right now.”

He noted she didn’t slow down as she reached him, and as soon as he finished his sentence she walked right into his arms without stopping and wrapped her arms around his torso tightly, pressing her cheek against his chest.

He gave a little surprised “humpf” when she hugged him, only faltering for a second before his arms came up to circle her.

“You ok?” he asked quietly, knowing that was probably a dumb thing to ask.

She didn’t answer, just replied by shaking her head against him, burrowing her face into his shirt.

When she finally did pull back, her eyes looked a little glassy and she gave a small sniffle, but she never shed any tears.

He gingerly brushed some hair out of her face. “You know what always makes me feel better when I’m upset?” He asked her

“Hm?”

“Practice my shootin’.” He grinned

“You’ve got guns?” she asked

He nodded, “you ever gone shootin’ before?”

She shrugged, “a couple times, just target practice.”

“That’s what I do too. I do a little huntin’ here and there, but it’s not my first choice. I keep my guns here. The guy who owns the ranch don’t mind. He joins me sometimes.” He gave her a smile.

She returned it easily, “Ok” she said in a small voice.

“Lemme just put this mare up, ok?”

She nodded, following him.

She propped her arms up on the fence, resting her head on the backs of her hands as she watched him with the horse. He untacked her, brushing her down until she was glossy and giving her a couple carrots. He was very gentle with her, it kind of made Nell swoon. Once he led her to her stall, he came back to get Nell, and they walked over to a large tree where some beer bottles were set up.

“You know how to stand?” he asked as he handed her one of his pistols.

She nodded, moving her feet shoulder width apart.

“Ok, show me how you hold the gun.” He instructed

She wrapped both hands around the grip, but Arthur was quick to correct her.

“If you hold it like that, the recoil is gonna force the gun back into your face. Here hold it like this.” He gently took her hands, putting one back on the grip, and the other one sort of cradling the front of her other hand.

“Now grip it real tight, cuz it’s gonna kick a little bit.”

She tightened her grip until her knuckles turned white.

“Not that tight, sweetheart. Here like this.”

He took the gun from her, moving his hands into the correct position and showing her how hard to grip it.

After giving it back to her, she tried again.

“There you go, good girl. Now, keep those feet shoulder width apart and exhale when you shoot, ok?”

That warm feeling returned from last night when he called her sweetheart. She had initially thought it to be the alcohol but now that she was sober, she realized it wasn’t. And when he had said _good girl_? She liked the sound of that too.

“Ok.” She said meekly.

“Good, and move your thumb a little bit—there. Don’t get it too close to the trigger.” He stepped back, “You ready?”

She met his gaze nervously.

He nodded, giving her the go ahead.

She squeezed the trigger, squinting her eyes, preparing for the recoil…but nothing happened.

“Huh? What did I do?”

He leaned over her, fiddling with the pistol in her hands, “Forgot to take the safety off sorry, ok try again.”

She pulled it again and she hit the bottle.

“I did it!” she said excitedly.

“Yea! Good job, Nell.” He patted her shoulder affectionately.

“You wanna try to shoot that line of bottles?” he pointed to a spot a little farther out from the tree.

She nodded, walking the short distance until she was lined up.

“How many bullets does this hold?” she asked before assuming the correct position again.

“Ten.”

“Ok.” She took a breath, then exhaled slow. Lining up her shots, she shattered all the bottles in the line. She turned towards him, a big grin plastered on her face.

“You feelin’ better?” he grinned back at her.

“Yea, this is actually really fun.” She paused for a moment. “I wanna see you shoot.”

“Me?” he asked bashfully.

“Yea! I bet you’re really good.”

“Aw, well I don’t know about that.”

“C’mon, cowboy.” She smirked at him, making his damn chest tighten again. He had to admit, he liked the nickname.

“Alright, alright.” He finally conceded.

“Here, lemme set up some more bottles for you.” She bounded away, grabbing some bottles from a stash behind the tree. Setting up 10 of them in a row, she gave him a playful smirk.

He reloaded the gun before taking aim and, once she had come back by his side, let off shots in quick succession, hitting each bottle perfectly.

“Why Mr. Morgan, I think you might’ve been a gunslinger in a past life.” Nell joked, clearly impressed.

“Me? A gunslinger? Hmm” he rubbed his bearded chin, feigning deep thought.

She chuckled good-naturedly. “I could see it.”

He shrugged, chuckling with her. “I don’t know about that.”

He looked down at her, studying her. She met his gaze with a sweet smile. “Thank you for today, and yesterday, and really every day.” She laughed quietly. “I always love hanging out with you.”

He felt his heart flutter, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into the side of his chest.

“Aww, I do too, sweetheart.” He paused, “I’m glad we understand each other.” He really did mean that, wholeheartedly.

“God, me too.” A sad look formed in her eyes.

He rubbed his hand up and down her arm comfortingly.

“Arthur?”

“Hm?”

“What am I gonna do about Chris?”

He swallowed, tightening his grip on her before letting her go. “I…don’t know to tell you the truth. He seems pretty hell-bent on showing back up in your life every couple years.” He paused for a second, daring to ask something he was afraid to hear the answer to. “Do you love ‘im?”

She stared straight ahead when she answered him, “Yes and no.” she turned her gaze back to him. “Do you love Mary?”

He huffed a little laugh before releasing a sigh, “Yes and no.”

She nodded, returning her gaze forward, staring into space.

“Seems like we’re in quite the predicament.” She voiced quietly.

He stared at her, watching her hair caress her cheeks when a slight breeze blew by, “Yea.” Was all he could say, merely above a whisper.

The peaceful silence was interrupted by Nell’s ringing phone. She cursed under her breath, taking it out of her pocket. Arthur watched her carefully when she answered it.

“What, Chris?”

Arthur couldn’t hear his part of the conversation but he had a feeling he was giving her some sort of half-assed apology.

Nell rolled her eyes and shook her head as she continued to listen to Chris over the phone. She walked back towards the tree and sunk down into the sand, leaning back against the sturdy trunk. Arthur joined her.

“You can’t keep doing things like this. I mean it.”

Arthur looked down at his hands in his lap.

Nell scoffed, absentmindedly picking at sparse patches of grass.

“No! It’s not ok! I don’t know why you keep thinking it is!”

Arthur started to get up so that he could give Nell some privacy, but her hand shot out and clasped him loosely around his wrist. She looked up at him pleadingly, silently begging him to stay. He swallowed and acquiesced, sinking back down next to her.

“You need to apologize to Angie too. You ruined her party.”

A few tense moments ticked by. She continued pulling out pieces of grass from the sandy soil.

“Yea, I know. And you owe him an apology too.”

Arthur’s eyes lifted to her in surprise. He appreciated her trying to get Chris to apologize to him, but if he were being truthful with himself, he wasn’t sure if he could see the guy without wanting to punch his teeth out.

“I know. And I know your brother just died, and that’s been hard on me too, ok? But your drinking is out of control.”

She turned her gaze towards Arthur, mouthing “ _I’m so sorry”_ to him while she continued to hold the phone to her ear.

He shook his head gently, mouthing back, “ _It’s ok._ ”

“Yea, sure.” A pause, “No I’m not workin’ tonight. I’m not doin’ this over the phone, so if you’re gonna apologize you need to do it to my face.” She rolled her eyes again

Arthur inwardly cringed. _No Nellie…don’t keep letting him back in_

And as soon as that thought crossed his mind he felt like a huge hypocrite. Had that not been the exact thing he’d been doing with Mary all these years? He was finally starting to understand his friends’ disappointment with him whenever he started that cycle again.

When Nell hung up she heaved an exasperated sigh. “I gotta go.” She looked pained, “thank you so much again for today. Don’t know what I’d do without you.” She gave him a small smile, grasping his fingers with her own lightly before heading back towards the car.

He stared after her for a minute before replying, “Hey…” he sort of trailed off. She turned around, waiting for him to finish. _He wanted to tell her that Chris wasn’t worth it, that he’d just keep hurting her. He wanted to tell her to stay._

_What a hypocrite he was._

“You, uh—be good, ok? Text me if you need anything.” He said instead. _That was the best he could say? Christ._

“I will, sweetheart.” She jested softly in a mock Texan accent, giving him a wink. He exhaled a small laugh, feeling heat saturate his cheeks. Then she was getting in her car and driving away.


	8. Breaking Point

The next time the guys were all at the bar, Arthur told them about Angie’s birthday party.

“Jesus Christ Arthur, this guy is dangerous.” John said, startled.

“You need to do something. Sooner or later he’s gonna really hurt her.” Javier commented lowly.

“Wasn’t you just tellin’ me not to say anythin’ to her when they first got back together?” Arthur queried

“Yea well that was before we knew how bad this guy was.” Javier countered.

Arthur nodded, conceding. “How do I go about somethin’ like this?”

Charles sighed, trying to think. “I’m not sure this is a subject you can dance around. If you fear for her safety, which I think you do, and we all do for that matter, I think you need to just tell it to her straight.”

“God, I hope I don’t spectacularly screw this up.” Arthur groaned

John gave him a sympathetic look. “She workin’ today?”

Arthur sighed, “Yea, she’s doin’ the next shift.”

“And when’s that start?” Lenny asked

“Uh..’bout 10 minutes I think? ‘Round 3 o’clock.”

Charles clapped him on the shoulder, “You can do this, Arthur. If you need us, we’ll be here.”

Arthur nodded, flexing his hands on the table nervously.

Arthur was anxious as hell, and before he knew it, Nell was walking through the door to start her shift.

He nodded to his friends, “Wish me luck, fellers.”

“Good luck, Arthur. You got this.” They responded.

He made his way up to the counter, leaning on it casually while he waited for Nell to finish changing into her uniform in the back.

When she came out, she was wearing a long-sleeved black T-shirt. He gave her a quizzical look.

“Whatchu wearin’ that for when it’s 95 degrees outside?” he snorted humorously.

When she turned to him, her eyes were vacant.

He faltered, his smile slowly dissipating.

“Nellie?” he asked quietly.

“Just chilly in here” she said, trying to smile.

Arthur’s eyebrows knit together in concern. If anything, it was always hot in the bar. “What aren’t you tellin’ me?”

She shook her head, “Nothing. I’m ok.” She grabbed a rag, idly wiping down a glass.

Arthur’s gut was twisting with anxiety. He had an idea of what might be going on….and when someone settled next to him at the counter, he let out a sigh.

He could see that goddamn tattoo sleeve out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey Nell, can I get a rum an’ Coke?” Chris asked

Arthur finally turned, facing him. Christ, how badly he wanted to beat him senseless. The cold realization was dawning on him like damn ice water being dumped over his head. He knew why Nell was wearing long sleeves.

He almost trembled with rage. When Nell went to the opposite end of the counter to grab the ingredients for Chris’s drink, Arthur braced his hands on the bar. He gritted his teeth, trying to speak low and calm. “You hurt her?”

Chris smirked at Arthur’s reaction, “That’s none of your concern.”

Arthur wiped a hand over his mouth, quickly losing the battle of trying to control his blinding anger.

Arthur sniffed, leaning in closer to Chris, speaking quietly, threateningly. “If I found out you hurt her, I’ll make you wish you’d been in that car with your brother when he got hit.”

Chris stiffened, fists clenching until his knuckles turned white. “Don’t you fuckin’ mention my brother.” He spat back, lowly. Chris dared to meet Arthur’s eyes, jaw set forward indignantly.

Arthur stared back at him, his mouth a thin, grim line. His brow was furrowed low over his eyes, which shone with such unspoken violence it made Chris physically falter.

“You can’t be serious?”

“Oh, I’m serious partner.”

Chris regained some of his courage, standing a little taller. “She’s not your woman, quit acting like she is.” He paused for effect, “I’m doin’ what’s best for her. I’m keeping her safe from men like _you._ ”

Arthur scoffed, “Men like me, huh? What, you threatened by me? Is that it?”

Chris sneered back, “You stay away from her. I won’t warn you again. I’ll f—”

Arthur grabbed the scruff of Chris’s neck, dragging him outside and around the side of the building before he could even protest. “You understandin’ me boy? Cuz I don’t think you are.” Arthur loomed over Chris, anger rolling off of him in waves.

Chris took a step back.

Arthur smiled insolently. “You’re a goddamn coward. You’re all bark and no bite, huh?”

Chris began to speak, but Arthur cut him off. “I’m not fuckin’ around.” He barked. “You hurt her again, you’ll have to go through me.” He stared down at him long and hard before adding more quietly, “You’d best leave now if you know what’s good for you.”

Chris gawked back at Arthur, eyes wide and jaw slack.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take that rum an’ Coke off your hands for you too.” Arthur added, smirking.

Chris’s scowl returned, and as soon as he did that, Arthur landed just about the hardest punch he’d ever given in his life square into Chris’s face.

“Agh, _fuck_! You broke my nose!” Chris brought his hands up to stifle the bleeding, spitting out blood.

“Leave. _Now._ Or I’ll do a whole lot worse.”

Chris scrambled to his feet, nearly tripping before running down the sidewalk and out of Arthur’s line of sight.

He shook his fist out, cursing under his breath.

When he turned around, Nell was watching him. Her face was devoid of color, her hands covering her mouth in shock.

Arthur took a timid step towards her, to which she responded with a step back.

“A-Arthur?” she asked fearfully.

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit._

“Nell, I—I’m sorry. I couldn’t…couldn’t stand the thought of him hurtin’ you again.”

She looked down at his fist, covered in Chris’s blood. He followed her eyes, looking down at his hand and wiping it on his pants self-consciously.

He tried again to move towards her, and she moved back.

He felt shame like he never had before.

“Nell…” he reached out towards her. She shook her head, moving back towards the door.

“Nell, please.”

She stopped, turning back to face him. Her face was emotionless, blank, unreadable. “You need to leave. You need to leave right now.” She said softly, before turning around and walking back inside.

A strangled noise escaped Arthur’s throat. He slammed his hand against the brick exterior of the bar. He covered his eyes with his hand and tried to keep his breath even, but soon his shoulders were shaking with silent tears. _He had fucked up. He’d lost her. The single best thing that had probably ever happened to him._

“Ah, shit…” he cursed under his breath, wiping his face on his shirt sleeve. He was out of control. He knew that. Of course he’d scared her. And now he was crying..? Jesus Christ. He didn’t think he’d ever been so out of control over a woman in his entire life…not even Mary.

When he went back inside, he kept his head down. He walked in quick strides to the table where his friends were sitting.

“Hey man, how’d it—” Charles hesitated, noticing Arthur’s expression.

“Are you ok??” John asked

Arthur didn’t answer either of them. Instead he grabbed his phone off of his chair and left without looking back.

* * *

“Arthur!” John called, running after him. “Arthur!!” he repeated, louder this time.

Arthur had stuffed his hands into his pockets, walking quickly back home.

“Hey!” John finally caught up to him, putting a hand on Arthur’s shoulder to stop him.

Arthur finally met his friend’s eyes.

“What the fuck happened back there??”

“I fucked up. I…I scared her and now she don’t want me to come ‘round no more.”

“What??” John asked incredulously. “What are you talking about? What did you do that could’ve scared her?”

Arthur started walking again, eyes glued to the pavement. John walked with him.

“Chris hit her. She came in today with her arms all covered up and I knew. I knew cuz it’s goddamn summer outside.” He huffed before continuing. “And then Chris sat next to me at the bar and I just—I lost it, John.” Arthur lifted his gaze to his friend’s. John noted how glassy his eyes were.

He waited for Arthur to continue.

“I threatened him and then I took him outside cuz the little bastard got smart with me and I…” he sighed, “I beat him like the no good thug I am, and Nell saw. She saw everything. Heard everything.”

John let out a sigh, “Shit…”

“She looked so scared…so scared of _me._ Looked at me like she didn’t even know me.”

John ran a hand through his hair, “Jesus, Arthur.” They kept walking. “I know you was just tryin’ to protect her.”

“’Course I was. But _you’ve_ always known I’ve had a temper, and _she_ didn’t. I’ve never been proud of my temper…I just—look, there ain’t no excuse for what I did. And she probably thought I was no better than _him._ ”

“Would you ever hit a woman?” John protested

Arthur looked at him, startled. “Jesus, no.”

“Would you ever use your drinking as an excuse to hurt someone you cared about?”

“No.”

“And would you ever try to control someone when they went out with friends?

“No.”

“Then you ain’t nothin’ like him.” John finished emphatically.

They had reached Arthur’s door, and before John could react, Arthur pulled him into a rough hug. And just as quickly as he’d embraced him, he let him go. “Thank you, John.” He said quietly.

John patted his friend’s shoulder empathetically.

Arthur unlocked his house, stepping inside before turning back to John. “I kinda just wanna be alone right now…I don’t mean no offense.”

John nodded, “I understand.” He started turning around before adding, “This may not be the end for you and her, y’know. Maybe she just got spooked. Give her some time.” John suggested.

Arthur shrugged, “Let’s hope so.”

And with that he shut the door.


	9. Just Can't Wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this hasn't been moving too fast, by this point in the story they've known each other for like 5-6 months so I figured the pacing was ok, but I also know the chapters aren't terribly long. I just hope it's realistic lol

It had been two weeks since Nell had asked Arthur to leave the bar. They hadn’t talked at all in that time, and it was absolutely tearing him up. Now he sat on Mary’s couch, thinking of anything but the woman next to him.

“You’ve been distant lately. Where’s your head at?” Mary asked, running her nails lightly against Arthur’s scalp.

He squirmed away, shaking her hands off him.

She was taken aback and hurt. “Jesus, what’s going on with you?”

Arthur looked down, heaving a sigh. “Sorry, I just—I don’t know. I had a fight with a friend and it’s been eatin’ at me.”

“Oh.” Was all she said. “Which friend?”

“Nell.”

“Nell?” she narrowed her eyes at him. “Didn’t know you two were so close.”

He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. “This is why I don’t tell you stuff.” He got off the couch and went to get a glass of water.

She got up and followed him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

He drank greedily, starting to feel his irritation flare.

“You judge me for bein’ wit’ anyone that ain’t you.”

“ _Excuse me?”_ She crossed her arms over her chest.

He finished the water, setting the glass in the sink before sidestepping her.

“I don’t wanna fight wit’ you right now.” He grumbled.

“You started this whole argument.” She snapped.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, trying to keep his breaths slow. “I know, I’m sorry.”

She didn’t answer. When he opened his eyes again he huffed, “You know what, I’m gonna take off.” He grabbed his jacket and slung it over his arm before heading for the door.

“You’ve never acted like this with me!” she flung her hands in the air. “Do you have feelings for this girl or something?? Are you cheating on me?!” she shrieked.

He stopped dead in his tracks, speaking low and clipped as he answered over his shoulder. “No I ain’t _cheatin’_ on you. I ain’t you.”

She gasped, taking another breath to continue yelling at him, but he cut her off.

“I can’t do this anymore.” He said abruptly, gesturing between them.

And then he walked out the door.

She slid against the fridge all the way down to the floor. She buried her head in her knees and cried.

* * *

He slammed the front door to his house, immediately heading for the bathroom. Aggressively stripping his clothes away from his body, he started the shower. Chest heaving with frustration, he stepped under the scalding stream. He rubbed a hand over his face. _Jesus Christ._ He couldn’t take not talking to her, couldn’t take not seeing her. He sat down on the cold shower floor, propping one leg up and letting the other stretch out. He lifted his hand, hesitating for only a second before he gave in and started stroking himself roughly. He let out a guttural groan, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the wall. He felt ashamed, dirty. _He had no right to be thinking of Nell right now, disrespecting her like he was._

But his anger and shame and sadness had been plaguing him for two weeks and he just couldn’t bear it anymore.

He pictured her smile. He pictured her hair swaying against her beautiful face like it had that day she’d visited him at the ranch.

He sped up, another groan tumbling from his lips.

He thought of that little black dress at the party.

He knew this wasn’t right, he _knew_ it. But he couldn’t stop. Not now.

He imagined her hands touching him, feeling him. He imagined her kissing him like her life depended on it. _He was close. He was already so goddamn close._

He pumped himself rougher, faster.

He pictured that little half smirk she did. He pictured those goddamn gorgeous eyes.

He imagined her laughs, her sighs.

_He imagined her loving him back._

He tensed, and with a kneejerk reaction he came over his chest and stomach with a pathetically loud moan. He panted heavily, feeling that heavenly bliss flow through his limbs.

He sat there for a few moments longer, catching his breath.

As soon as the high of his orgasm faded away, the shame started clouding his mind again.

_He had to see her. He was losing his goddamn mind._

Shrugging his tan leather jacket over his shoulders, he closed the front door to his house, locking it. He walked briskly towards the bar in the fading evening light, running a hand through his honey-colored locks nervously.

He tugged the jacket a little tighter around himself as he braced against the desert chill that set in at night.

He struggled to think of what to say to her, struggled to think of how he could make this right. All he knew was that he missed her, and he couldn’t bear the thought of never talking to her again.

Tentatively opening the door to the bar, he poked his head inside. He saw Nell working the counter with Angie. The bar was packed tonight, and soft music floated through the air, reaching his ears. Taking a deep breath, Arthur entered the bar, heading up to the counter. He opted to seat himself on the side Angie was working, waving her down. He turned himself on the stool, looking out over the crowd. People were dancing together, swaying gently to the rhythm of the music around them with drinks in their hands. He turned around when he heard someone clear their throat.

“Hey, Arthur. Haven’t seen you in a while, where you been?” Angie asked

He looked at her for a moment, unsure of himself. “Oh, I uh…” he sighed, shaking his head. After a moment he asked, “Did Nellie tell you?”

She hesitated before nodding solemnly. “Yea.” A pause. “Y’know, that douchebag had it coming for a while. I’m glad someone finally put him in his place.”

Arthur raised his brows in surprise. “You ain’t mad at me?”

“’Course not.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “You did her a favor.” She looked over at Nell, busy with customers. “She’s…she acts like things don’t affect her but she’s just like the rest of us, really. I’ve known her a long time, she’s a strong girl. She’s my best friend, and for a time, I was scared I was losing her to Chris.”

Arthur nodded in understanding. “You’re lucky to have each other.”

Angie smiled a little, still looking at Nell. “Yea, we are.” She met his eyes, “She’s not mad at you anymore, by the way.”

Arthur let out a sigh of relief, slumping slightly in his seat. “I was so scared I’d lost her.”

Angie watched him for a moment.

Arthur cleared his throat, gesturing towards the people behind them, “what’s goin’ on tonight? Don’t think I’ve ever seen people dancin’ here.”

“It’s couples’ night.” Angie answered.

“Oh, great.” he grumbled, placing his arms on the counter and clasping his hands together.

“Yea it’s a new thing our boss started.” She waved her hand in the air, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” she continued.

“We broke up.” He answered quietly.

She studied him again, hands braced on the bar. “I’m sorry about that.”

He just shrugged in response. Angie thought he didn’t look too bothered by it.

She stayed still for a minute, trying to choose her next words carefully, “Did you break up with her because of Nell?”

Arthur looked up at her, startled. “What?”

“Did you break up with your girlfriend because you have feelings for Nell?”

Arthur looked genuinely alarmed, and for a moment Angie was worried she had gone too far. Then he sighed, finally answering. “I um…” he scratched his neck awkwardly. “Yea.” He stayed quiet for a moment before adding quietly, “I’ve liked her for a long while, now.”

Angie briefly placed her hand on Arthur’s comfortingly, “This thing with Chris must be really hard on you, then.”

Arthur looked at her hand on his before she took it away, then lifted his head. She was giving him a sad smile.

“You have no idea. It’s been killin’ me.” He mumbled.

“Arthur, you’re a really good guy. Nell is lucky to have you in her life. She’s never had someone stand up for her like this. And I think it scared her when you went after Chris. She didn’t know what to do with those emotions.”

Arthur watched her carefully, waiting for her to go on.

“I’ve been trying to convince her to stop this on again off again thing for years.” She swallowed, collecting her thoughts. “I obviously couldn’t beat him up like you did,” she huffed a little laugh, “but I tried in my own way to make her see reason.”

Arthur hummed, nodding his head in acknowledgment.

“Nell’s a special girl. This life hasn’t been kind to her, and I have a feeling it hasn’t been to you either.” Angie said seriously.

He stared blankly at his hands on the counter.

“You should go talk to her.” She nodded her head in Nellie’s direction. “I know she’s been trying to think of what to say to you, and I know she’s been feeling guilty for sending you away.”

Arthur wrung his hands together nervously, “Thank you Angie…for talkin’ to me. I needed that.”

She gave him a nod, smiling warmly. “Anytime, Arthur.”

He got up off his stool, ambling over towards the other end of the counter. Rubbing the back of his neck, he pushed his way through the small crowd that had gathered at the front of the room. He settled in between two people, waiting for Nell to finish talking to a customer. He reached up to smooth over his beard. He’d let it get longer over the last couple weeks. He hadn’t really been taking care of himself like he should have been, his thoughts too preoccupied with Nell. He hoped he didn’t look too disheveled.

Arthur flexed his hands at his sides anxiously when he finally saw Nell starting to walk back over his way.

She spotted him, stopping in her tracks. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Seemed like she was at a loss for words as well. He didn’t know if that was good or bad.

Just as he was starting to doubt himself, a huge smile bloomed across her pretty face.

His poor heart leapt into his throat at the sight.

She rushed around the side of the counter, trying to dodge patrons hastily as she approached him.

A few customers cursed as she bumped into them, eyes following her as she weaved through the crowd.

Then she was standing in front of him, chest falling and rising with each breath she took.

Her arms lifted, hands hesitating as if trying to figure out if she should embrace him or remain still. He made the choice for her, pulling her into a tight hug. He rested his chin on her head as she tucked her face into his chest. Nuzzling his nose in her hair, he gave her scalp a delicate kiss before letting her go.

She looked up at him, her cheeks wet and her lips tugged into a sweet smile.

He cupped her face, “Why’re you cryin’?”

“Cuz I’m a goddamn idiot, that’s why.” She laughed lightly.

“No you ain’t. I’m the idiot.” He shook his head “I’m sorry I hit Chr—”

“No, please don’t apologize.” She cut him off. “I appreciate what you did for me, and I—well I didn’t handle it very well.” She cast her gaze to the side, embarrassed.

“I know you were just tryin’ to look out for me.” She finished in a small voice.

He took her hand in his, holding it to his chest.

“I will always look out for you—that’s a promise.” He gave her hand a light squeeze.

“God, where did you come from?” she laughed, giving him an incredulous yet amused look. “How did I get so lucky to find someone as perfect as you?”

He blushed, barking out a little laugh, “I don’t know about that sweetheart, but I sure as hell am glad I found you.”

He turned his head, looking back at Angie, who was watching them with a grin plastered on her face.

He returned it, nodding his head in thanks.

“Hey,” Nellie began. Arthur turned his attention back to her while she finished her sentence. “I’m almost done with my shift, and its couples’ night…”

His eyebrows lifted in surprise, waiting for her to finish.

“Do you think you’d maybe wanna dance with me? As friends I mean.” Her cheeks turned a beautiful pink hue. “Then have some drinks?” she looked up at him hopefully.

His heart melted, how could he say no to her?

“I’d love to.” He answered happily.

* * *

Her hands were on his shoulders, his hands on her waist. He was trying to hold her at a respectable distance, but Christ was it hard.

Her hands were warm through his shirt, relaxing him into her touch.

“You were right, you know.” She said, looking up at him.

“Huh?” he asked, confused.

“That day I wore the long sleeves. I could tell you knew. About him hitting me.” She scowled, looking out across the other people in the bar. “Wasn’t the first time, either.”

He swallowed, trying to quell his anger.

“I had a feelin’…that’s why I got so angry with him. I uh—I lost control of myself a bit there after that.” He supplied a sheepish little laugh, “You already saw that, though.”

She looked like she was unsure of what to say, so she tucked herself under his chin again instead.

“Thank you.”

“For hittin’ ‘im?” he chuckled quietly, his chest rumbling. “Anytime, sweetheart.”

She pushed herself into him tighter then, pressing her ear to his chest.

He squeezed his eyes shut, _fuck._ Jesus Christ he wanted to tell her how he felt. How he’d pathetically pined after her for months. How he’d do just about anything for her.

Maybe dancing wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“I like the way your chest rumbles when you laugh.” She admired

He rubbed a hand up and down her back, chuckling. “You do?”

“Yeah, it kinda feels like a little massage when I put my head on you.”

He let out a belly laugh, squeezing her tighter. “You’re so goddamn cute.”

She laughed with him, leaning back so she could see that beautiful smile on his face.

As the song ended, he let her go, pointing a thumb over his shoulder towards the bar. “You wanna grab some drinks?”

She nodded enthusiastically, “Sure, let’s go.”

She laughed drunkenly, the sound like damn music to his ears.

He gave her a lopsided grin, probably looking like a lovesick fool. He propped his elbow on the counter, resting his head in his hand.

“How’s Mary?” she asked, idly picking at some lint on her pants.

He shook his head, making it swim painfully. Jesus, he was drunk.

“We uh…we actually broke up.”

Her heartbeat quickened.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” She offered him an empathetic smile. “Do you mind if I ask why?”

“We got into this big fight.” He sighed, “things was startin’ to get tense months back honestly.” He took a long drink from his glass before setting it back down heavily on the counter. “I ain’t been feelin’ like myself since that day with Chris, and I got a lil’ snappy with her when she was touchin’ on me.” He slurred. “Then the argument just kinda snowballed.”

A sharp pang of jealousy spread through her chest at that. She certainly didn’t want to think of another woman touching him. _Wow. That was a bold thought._

“Well I can’t really blame her for that,” she snorted. “I doubt I’d be able to keep my hands off of you either.” She took a drink before she realized what she’d said. Damn this alcohol, it was making her too brave.

She dared to look at him, worried he’d be disgusted by what she’d said. Instead she found his gaze looking…. _hungry...and heated._

She swallowed, trying to laugh it off, “Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” She took another sip of her drink, “I say such stupid things when I’m drunk.”

His eyes softened a little then, some of the heat behind them dissipating.

She coughed into her fist, “I should probably head home. It’s getting pretty late.”

He looked disappointed, but nodded, helping her off the stool. “Want me to walk you back?” he asked.

“Please?” she answered, grabbing his shoulder for support.

* * *

When they’d reached her door, she turned around, lingering for a moment. “Thank you for walkin’ me home” She said.

He nodded, about to ask her if she’d be ok for the rest of the night, when she opened her mouth and then shut it again.

He scrunched his brows in confusion, waiting for her to speak.

She bit her lip, seemingly trying to decide if she should say what was on her mind or not.

“Do you…um…do you wanna come in for a little bit?” she finally asked.

His heart flipped, his breath caught in his throat. All he could do was nod back dumbly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh la la


	10. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first lil bit of smut for y'all ;)
> 
> Also the song mentioned in one of the scenes is really good and really sets the mood/tone I think lol. If y'all haven't heard it, you should listen to it! It's called Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton
> 
> Also, later on in this chapter it kinda changes between Nell's and Arthur's POV and I separated those with bars so hopefully it's not confusing

Nellie unlocked her door, leading Arthur inside. Her heart pounded harshly against her ribs, making her head even dizzier than it already was.

He watched her carefully as they entered her living room, and followed her when she went to sit down on the couch.

“You know what, I’m gonna grab a beer. You want one?”

He shrugged, “Sure.”

She stood back up, taking off her shoes before padding down the hallway to the kitchen.

He leaned back into the leather of the couch, looking around Nell’s small apartment.

In front of him was a white coffee table with a small potted cactus on it, and on the other side of that sat two leather recliners. Books covered just about every surface there was, making him smile. A tall floor lamp stood in the corner of the room, illuminating a TV. Over to his left he saw a side table with a picture of Nell and Angie on it, and further left still sat a record player on a wooden desk. A pile of records lay next to it, shuffled haphazardly.

She came back, handing him an opened beer before uncapping her own.

“Thank you” he said, bringing the bottle to his lips.

They were both still quite drunk, and she wasn’t exactly sure why she’d offered to get them more drinks.

She took a swig anyways, turning to face him.

“You like Chris Stapleton?” she asked before taking another sip.

He grinned, nodding his head. “Love him. You have one of his records?”

“Yea, here I’ll put it on.” She walked over to her record player, shifting through her collection of discs until she found the right one. She placed it on the player, turning it on and gently touching the needle to the vinyl.

When _Tennessee Whiskey_ started playing she hummed, sitting back down next to him and taking another swig.

Arthur smiled at her, watching as she tucked some hair behind her ear. They started swaying drunkenly with the music, soon finishing their beers and opening a second.

Then they started singing together, laughing loudly.

_“I used to spend my nights out in a barroom. Liquor was the only love I've known._

_But you rescued me from reachin' for the bottom. And brought me back from being too far gone.”_

Nell smiled, closing her eyes and tipping her beer bottle back, draining it.

She re-joined Arthur in song, “ _You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey. You're as sweet as strawberry wine. You're as warm as a glass of brandy. And honey, I stay stoned on your love all the time_ ”

Arthur leaned his head back, the alcohol buzzing through his body as he listened to Nell sing.

“ _I've looked for love in all the same old places. Found the bottom of a bottle always dry. But when you poured out your heart I didn't waste it. 'Cause there's nothing like your love to get me high_ ”

Her voice was perfect. Just like the rest of her. Before he could think any better he sat forward, snaking his hand through the tendrils of her long hair and pulling her to him, closing his lips over hers.

Nell pulled back, startled. Arthur stuttered, quick to apologize. “Oh God, Nell I’m so sorry. Jesus I didn’t mean…I’m so—“

She cut him off by grabbing for his collar, dragging him back down to her.

He felt his damn heart melt as she kissed him. He pulled back for a breath and she took the opportunity to clamber into his lap, straddling him. A sharp heat settled within him at that, creating a ravenous ache. She crushed her lips to his again, using her hands to start pushing his jacket off his shoulders.

He sighed against her mouth, breaking away only long enough to remove his jacket the rest of the way, throwing it across the room, forgotten.

He turned his attention back to her quickly, wrapping his arms around her back. One hand rested on the small of it, the other between her shoulder blades. She moved her fingers towards the bottom of his shirt while her tongue pressed against his lips, urging him to open his mouth for her. A quiet groan sounded from his throat as he acquiesced, letting her taste him. She trembled slightly, making another grunt fall from his lips. He tasted her back eagerly, leaning further into her.

She finally let her hands creep under the fabric of his shirt, moving up his torso until they settled flat on his chest.

Just when he was starting to get worried with her lack of noise, she let out a quiet moan, making his damn head reel. She started running one of her hands over the expanse of his chest muscles without shame while the other played with the hairs there. He angled his head to the side, kissing her more harshly as he moved one of his hands to her thigh and the other to her waist. He squeezed her flesh hard, starting to lose control of himself. She let out another languid moan, louder this time.

She pulled back, looking down at him through hooded eyes before taking her lower lip between her teeth, opting to move her hands to his shoulders to steady herself.

Then she rolled her hips against him, moaning as she felt how hard he was beneath her. He twitched against her reflexively. A feverish desire was clouding his judgment, replacing his functioning brain with an all-consuming need to be inside her.

But when she rolled her hips against him again, he heard the doorbell ring. He faltered, snapping out of his carnal daze. Chest rising and falling rapidly, he placed both hands on her hips and sat up straighter.

She pulled back, giving him a quizzical look.

He furrowed his brow in drunken concentration, listening intently.

A few tense seconds passed before he finally spoke. “You hear that?”

“Hear what?” she looked confused.

She watched him, waiting for him to answer her. With his continued silence she opened her mouth to speak, and then the doorbell chimed again.

Nell craned her head towards the sound.

“You expectin’ somebody?” he asked, worried.

“Not that I remember…” she said slowly, trying to think. She paused before adding, “Lemme go see who it is.”

He turned to look at her, his pupils still blown from their escapade moments before. “No hang on, you stay here. I’m gonna go check it out.” He got off the couch, starting to move towards the front door.

Her face paled. _Who the hell would show up at her house this late?_

“Do you think it’s a burglar??” she was whispering now, turning frantic. Had she been sober, she would’ve realized how stupid of a question that was. Honestly, if she’d been sober, she wouldn’t have even asked.

He shook his head, his body tense. “Burglar wouldn’t ring the bell.”

She rolled her eyes, inwardly chastising herself for sounding like such an idiot.

Arthur reached the door, looking cautiously through the peephole. Clearly he didn’t like what he saw, because he let out a damn _growl._

“This bastard just don’t know when to give up.” He whispered to himself angrily.

Nell leapt off the couch, creeping up beside him to look through the little lens herself.

On the other side of the door stood Chris, his nose still swollen and purple. He was glancing at his feet and his hands were stuffed into his pockets.

She clenched her fists at her sides, reaching for the doorknob to go tell him off when Arthur stopped her. Grabbing her hand gently, he led her away from the door, putting his finger to his lips.

She quietly huffed in frustration. “I don’t know why he’s here! I broke up with him!”

Arthur shook his head, “Don’t matter, we ain’t home.” He nodded his head towards her back door.

She looked once more behind her before giving him a nod and creeping out the back. After locking her apartment she turned to him, “where do we go now?” she was still whispering, fearing he might hear them.

“My place, c’mon.”

He held her hand the entire way home, forgetting about Chris and instead focusing on that damn kiss. _Jesus, he had never experienced a kiss like that before._

He unlocked his door, letting Nellie inside and following after her. He turned the lights on, and watched in amusement as she looked around in curiosity.

He cleared his throat, “I’ll take the couch, and you can take the bed.” He gave her a sincere smile.

She looked up at him for a moment, wobbling slightly on her feet. Neither of them were completely sober yet.

“Why can’t we both share the bed?”

“Because…” _Because I’m scared you’ll wake up in the mornin’ and look at me and regret kissin’ me. And I don’t think I could take bein’ rejected by you._ “Because I snore.” He lied.

She cocked her head, “I don’t really mi—”

He shook his head, cutting her off. “I want you to get a good night’s rest. I’ll see you in the mornin’, ok?” He gave her hand a squeeze before heading into the bedroom, tidying up his bed for her. He fluffed the pillows, glancing up at her as she walked in.

She looked at him uncertainly. “Did I do somethin’ wrong?” she asked timidly.

He shook his head vehemently, causing his damn head to swim again. “No! No you didn’t. Just want you to sleep well s’all.” He was still slurring a little. Damn, they had had a lot to drink.

She nodded, her lips in a thin line. She started taking off her belt and pants, Arthur’s eyes widening before he covered them with his hand. “Uh, I’ll just see you in the mornin’. Sleep well, Nell.” He ducked out of his room quickly, finding a pillow and blanket lying about in the living room, and settled onto the couch for the night. _Please for the love of god don’t regret kissin’ me tomorrow._ He rubbed a hand down his face, letting out a dejected sigh.

He awoke the next morning, his head pounding so bad he decided to take some Tylenol. He peeked into his room. Nell was still asleep in his bed, breathing peacefully. His heart swelled at the sight. He’d wanted this so bad for so long. He was just so scared she’d only kissed him last night because she was drunk. He wanted— _needed—_ this to be real.

He looked at his phone, cursing under his breath. If he didn’t get a move on, he was going to be late. His boss had called him probably 5 minutes prior, asking him if he could come into work last minute to cover for someone. He’d grumbled out an annoyed “ _sure_ ” before hurrying to get dressed.

Looking back to Nell, he sighed. He wanted to leave her a note in case she woke up before he got back. Truthfully, he didn’t even know how long he _would_ be working today. He went to his kitchen table, grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. He scribbled out a message before quietly walking back into his bedroom. He put the note on his nightstand, his eyes sweeping over Nell’s sleeping form one more time before he left his house and headed to the ranch.

* * *

“Christ almighty, my _head._ ” Nell groaned, grabbing her temples. Sitting up in bed, she took in her surroundings. Parts of last night had been a little fuzzy, but she remembered Arthur taking her here after they’d shared that kiss. _God, that kiss._ Just thinking about it had her flushing a bright crimson. Her eyes continued flicking around his room until they landed on the little piece of paper he’d left for her. She picked it up, a small smile on her face.

_Good morning Nellie, hope you slept ok. I had to go into work last minute and I’m not sure when I’ll be home. I left some Tylenol and a couple boxes of cereal on the kitchen table for you. If you need anything, please text me. I’ll see you soon, unless you head home, in which case I’ll see you tonight or tomorrow hopefully._

_-Arthur_

Her heart warmed at the note still clutched in her hand. The last line however, had given her pause. He seemed unsure of himself. Recalling the events of last night, he’d seemed unsure of himself when he’d gotten them home too. She was really starting to worry she’d done something to offend him. _Maybe he was just missing Mary…maybe he didn’t share her feelings._ She bit her lip, anxious thoughts swirling around in her already pounding head.

She swung her legs off of the bed and placed her feet firmly on the floor. She stood up, starting to make her way towards the kitchen. As much as she worried about overstepping her bounds with Arthur last night, her main priority right now was quashing this headache.

She unscrewed the bottle, popping a couple pills in her mouth. She searched his cabinets until she found a glass, filling it with water and swallowing the Tylenol with a slight wince. She went back to the kitchen table, looking between the two cereal boxes. She settled on cheerios for breakfast, humming to herself while she looked for a bowl and spoon.

* * *

He was _finally_ heading home from work. The sun was setting slowly, starting to dip below the red mountains in the distance. He felt so bad leaving Nell at home all this time, and yet he found himself hoping that she was still there… _how selfish of him._

While stopped at a red light he felt his phone buzz. Pulling it out of his jacket pocket, he saw it was from Nell. His heartrate picked up. _Was she going to tell him that last night was a mistake? Was she going to say that she couldn’t be his friend anymore?_

Letting out a slow breath, he unlocked his phone.

_Nell: Hey Arthur, I know this is kind of random, but can I take a shower?_

He blinked, surprised that she had stayed.

He quickly typed back a reply.

_Arthur: Yea of course. There are some clean towels in a closet next to the shower. Should be home soon, just wading through some traffic._

He rolled down his window and draped an arm over the side of his truck. He was trying very hard to not think about her. In his shower. Naked.

He blew out another breath, trying to steer his thoughts in another direction.

He felt his phone buzz again a couple minutes later, giving him a very welcome distraction.

_Nell: Thanks! Sorry about the traffic. Do you know what time you might be back?_

He quirked an eyebrow. Was she trying to leave before he got back…? If she was, then why would she shower at his place?

He sent another text—

_Arthur: Maybe 25 minutes or so_

He felt his heart sinking into his stomach. _She most definitely regretted last night._

* * *

Nell stretched her arms over her head, letting out a yawn. After retrieving a towel from the bathroom closet, she turned on the shower. She let her hair down from its bun, taking her remaining clothes off. She was slightly embarrassed when she awoke this morning with no pants on, but since Arthur was out all day, she just lounged in her shirt and underwear from the previous night.

She had left the door slightly ajar, since Arthur wouldn’t be home for a little while still, and she knew the humidity would become oppressive.

She scrubbed herself down with his soap before reaching for the shampoo and conditioner.

* * *

Arthur had gotten through traffic surprisingly quickly, and since that took up the bulk of his travel time, he now figured he’d be home in about 5 minutes. He felt nervous, if he were being honest with himself. He hoped he hadn’t fucked everything up the night before.

* * *

Nell found herself thinking about last night as she stood under the steady stream of the water. Even just thinking about that kiss had heat pooling in her stomach. She bit her lip, debating whether or not she should indulge in this feeling. Arthur wouldn’t be home for a little while still, right? She had time. With a sigh of anticipation, she sunk down to the tiled floor, bringing her knees up. She let out a quiet moan as she pressed two fingers against that little bundle of nerves. Tiny little bolts of electricity shot through her legs with each circle, making her limbs jerk slightly. She let her head fall back, closing her eyes as she let herself enjoy the sensations.

* * *

Arthur pulled onto his street, the sky now darkening considerably. He idly wondered if it was even safe for Nellie to go back home right now with Chris lurking around. Even if she felt awkward around him because of last night, he couldn’t let her go back alone. Especially not at night, not in good conscience anyways.

* * *

Nellie let out an unabashed whine, her legs full on quivering now. Her breath was quickening, her eyes scrunched together tightly. She should be embarrassed, should be _ashamed_ for doing this in his house. But after last night, after getting a taste of what she’d craved for so long now, she couldn’t quite bring herself to care.

* * *

Arthur parked his truck, locking the doors before jogging up the steps to his house. Upon entering, he found it to be quiet. _So he had been right. She’d asked him when he’d be back so she could hurry home before he could talk to her._

He scowled, feeling like a goddamn fool. Taking off his jacket, he threw it over a chair in his living room. He turned on some of his lights, heading for the kitchen to find something to eat. As he started making his way to the fridge, he heard a gasp. Stopping, he furrowed his brows. He quieted his breathing, listening intently for another sound. Not even a minute later he heard a breathy moan. _Was she still here?_ He turned in the direction of the bathroom. _More importantly, was she ok?_ He was starting to worry. _Had she slipped? Was she hurt?_ His pace quickened, finally within a few steps of the bathroom. He heard his name. Except….except it didn’t sound like she was in pain. He halted, heat rising to his cheeks. Surely she couldn’t be…

He peered around the corner of the wall, finding the door to the bathroom cracked. He took a breath, his brain starting to frenzy. _Maybe this wasn’t what it sounded like…maybe she actually was hurt._ Suddenly feeling guilty at the shameful thoughts that had crossed his mind moments before, he pushed the door open a little bit more. Even with his previous guess as to what could be going on, nothing could have prepared him for what met his gaze. _Holy…shit._

He felt more guilt surge through him at walking in on her like this. He backed out of the bathroom, standing against the wall next to the door instead. He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the wall. Even with his eyes closed, the image was burned into his brain. His shower was made of glass, and even though steam fogged up most of it, he could still see Nell’s outline on the shower floor….touching herself.

Hearing his name fall from her lips had him thinking all sorts of sinful things. He knew he should leave, that this was wrong on so many levels, but he found himself honestly too shocked to move. She let out a string of curses, moaning loudly afterwards. _Oh sweet jesus._ He was becoming consumed by an unbearable warmth in his belly, the edges of his vision going near black as all the blood quickly rushed from his head and his pants grew _painfully_ tight. He tried to keep his breathing even, keeping his eyes screwed shut. He tried to will the problem in his pants to go away, but unfortunately, it only seemed to be getting worse. When she breathily said his name again he almost let out a groan of his own.

 _Finally_ his feet started working again, and he ran right to the bedroom, closing the door and locking it. Now rushing to relieve some of this horrible ache, he ripped his belt off, throwing it god knows where. He fumbled with the button on his jeans, not quite being able to get a grip on it with how goddamn constrictive his pants had become. He growled in frustration, finally getting the button and zipper open. He reached into his jeans, grabbing himself and leaning over his bed, supporting his weight with one arm. He shuddered, trying his best to not make any noises. To his dismay, he wasn’t able to hold all of them back. He stroked himself so roughly it almost hurt. He gritted his teeth, seeking as much friction as he could. He was goddamn rutting into his own hand, but any embarrassment was far from his mind right now. All he could think about was Nell touching herself, apparently to thoughts of him. It drove him crazy, and hell, now he wanted her more than ever.

His fantasies soon vanished into thin air as he heard a knock against his bedroom door. His eyes flew open, his breaths coming out harsh and ragged.

“Arthur?” Nell asked curiously.

“Uh…yeah?” His voice cracked slightly, and he cursed under his breath.

“Are you ok?”

His chest still rose and fell more quickly than he’d like, but he straightened up, fixing his pants.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?” he looked at himself in the mirror. _Good god._ His hair was messy, his cheeks red, and a sheen of sweat had formed on his brow. She was gonna know exactly what he was doing when he opened that door.

“I um…” she sounded embarrassed. “I left my pants in there….”

His eyes looked around the floor, finding her jeans thrown haphazardly into the corner along with her belt.

He smoothed out his hair, taking one more deep breath before walking over to the door and unlocking it.

Nell stood in the doorway in a little white towel. Her hair was still wet, and it fell tantalizingly over her naked shoulders. Arthur swallowed, hard.

Nell huffed out a little laugh, holding the towel tightly around herself. “You sure you’re ok? You look like you just ran a marathon.”

“Huh?” he realized how panicked he sounded. He stood there with his hand on the doorknob, probably looking like an idiot.

Her lips slowly formed into an amused smile as she watched him. He stared back, worried that she was catching on.

Her grey eyes flicked down to his waist, and he instantly froze up, scared that maybe he hadn’t completely gotten rid of his…problem. She let out another little laugh.

“Where’s your belt?”

He let out a sigh of relief, making her cock her eyebrow at him.

“Oh, I uh, I didn’t wear it today.” He stammered.

“You always wear your belt.” She remarked, starting to get suspicious.

He gulped, letting go of the doorknob.

“Did you just get back?” she asked, seemingly dropping the topic.

He nodded, scratching his beard. “Yea, got through traffic pretty fast.” He took a breath, continuing quickly. “You want somethin’ to eat?”

She nodded, “Yea, that sounds good. Lemme just get dressed first.”

“’Course. I’ll be in the kitchen.” He gave her a smile, which to his delight she returned instantly.

Stepping outside of his room, he closed the door behind him and headed towards the kitchen. He rifled through his fridge, not finding anything that looked all that appealing to him.

He pulled out his phone instead, thinking of ordering something. He looked up when Nell approached him.

“Anything look good?” she asked.

He shook his head, eyes moving back to his phone. “Nah, I’m thinkin’ of just orderin’ somethin’. You want anythin’ in particular?”

She thought for a moment, then shrugged her shoulders. “Chinese?”

“Sure. Whatchu want?”

“Dumplings.” She grinned excitedly.

He laughed, “Ok. I’ll call this in. You wanna go find a movie to watch?”

She nodded, and as she walked back towards the living room, he found himself watching her hips swaying with her gait. _Christ she looked good in those jeans…_

He groaned softly, he had to get a grip on this. He was still way too aroused.


	11. I'm So Lucky

“What did you decide on?” he asked as he sat next to her on the couch.

She picked up the remote, scrolling through a few options. “Horror movie.”

“Horror??” he asked. “Are you sure?”

She turned to him, grinning. “You seem scared.”

“Scared? Nah, I just…it’s nighttime…and I don’t want you to have bad dreams.” He tried to sound convincing.

She laughed loudly, and he couldn’t help but join in.

“What’s so funny?” he was still chuckling.

“You can’t use me as an excuse!” she was almost doubled over.

“I’m not!”

Her laughter was infectious, and he found that he wasn’t able to stop.

“Yes you are!” she paused before breaking out into laughter again. “Big, bad Arthur Morgan is afraid of horror movies?” she finally calmed her laughing, grinning at him instead. “And here I thought you were a tough guy.”

He scoffed with mock offense. “I am _not_ afraid.”

“Yeah, suuuure.” She let out one last chuckle before picking up the remote again, scrolling through more movies.

“What about Action? Or Western? That seems like it would be up your alley.” She joked, looking at him, waiting for an answer.

He shrugged, “I actually do like Westerns…”

She snickered, “Of course you do.”

He could honestly say that this was probably one of his favorite aspects of their relationship. He’d always loved their flirtatious banter. It made him happier than he’d probably ever admit to anyone.

“Have you ever seen any of the classics??” He asked her

He seemed excited about it, and it honestly made her heart melt a little.

“I have not. Have you ever seen…” she kept scrolling until she landed on another movie. “The Exorcist?? Now _that_ is a classic.”

“That shit don’t terrify you??”

She laughed, “Of course it does, that’s the point of watchin’ them isn’t it?”

He considered this, “I mean I guess…though it don’t seem very fun to me.”

She gave him a demure little smile, “Tell you what, let’s make a bet.”

“A bet?” He rubbed his chin, “Ok. What’s the bet?”

“You make it through this movie and next dinner is on me.”

_Did that mean she wanted to keep seeing him? Even with walking in on her earlier, he still doubted her actually liking him in such a way._

“Can I pick the restaurant?” he asked, meeting her gaze.

She nodded her head, “Mmhm. We’ll make it a date.” She was testing the waters now, trying to see if he would even consider it if it were under those circumstances. She was still worried he didn’t feel the same way about her, but her mind, especially after last night, had been consumed by nothing but him over the last couple months, and she wanted so badly to be more than friends.

He gave her a big, genuine smile, and her breath hitched.

“A date, huh? I think that’s a great idea.”

“You do?”

“O’course. How could I say no to you?” he looked away, hearing the doorbell ring.

Her body felt all warm and fuzzy, hearing him talk like that.

“That must be the food, I’ll be right back.” He patted her knee, getting up and heading for the door.

She sank down further in the couch, letting out a content sigh.

When he came back, he held two plastic bags in his hands. “You wanna eat here or in the kitchen?”

“Can we eat here while we watch the movie?”

He shrugged, “Sure.”

She suddenly gave him one of her mischievous little smirks, “Try not to spill your food everywhere when you get scared.”

He chuckled lowly, shaking his head. “I ain’t gonna get scared.”

“Oh my god, I’m so scared.” He gripped his dish in his hand, staring at the TV.

She laughed, crossing her legs on the couch. She’d finished her dumplings and put the container on the floor.

He wrinkled his nose, half looking away as he popped another piece of chicken into his mouth. “This is so gross, why is she throwin’ up everywhere?”

“I mean, she’s possessed.” Nell chuckled, watching his reaction more than she was watching the movie. Besides, she’d already seen it before, and watching him was much more entertaining.

“Are you havin’ fun watchin’ me freak out, Nellie?” He asked, sneaking a glance her way, chuckling.

“Oh, I’m havin’ a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoyin’ yourself at my expense.”

She laughed, deciding to move closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder. She felt him stiffen and immediately backed off.

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.”

He shook his head, setting his food down. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable, darlin’. I just wasn’t expectin’ it is all. I’m sorry.” He opened his arm for her, “C’mere.”

She smiled shyly, scooting back over to him.

He kept his arm around her for the rest of the movie, trying hard to focus on the TV, but finding his thoughts much more preoccupied with Nell leaning against him.

When the credits rolled she lifted her head off of him, looking at him expectantly. “So? What did you think?”

“Oh it was terrifyin’.” He shook his head, an amused glint in his eye.

“You made it through though! I’m proud of you.” She grinned, laughing lightly.

When he didn’t answer, she looked back up at him. She found him looking at her longingly, and she faltered.

“Arthur…?”

“Do you…um. Do you regret last night?”

She scrunched her eyebrows together, “What? No, of course not!” she paused, “Do you?”

The look on his face could only be described as immense relief.

“Good.” He heaved a sigh, “No I don’t regret it for a second.”

She smiled, moving to take his hand, rubbing her thumb back and forth over it.

He cleared his throat, looking down at their intertwined fingers as he spoke again. “You weren’t just doin’ it cuz you were drunk, right?” He looked up at her with a sad look in his eyes.

“No, jesus, no.” she stroked her other hand over his cheek lovingly.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?” she continued, huffing out a little exasperated laugh.

He perked up, his sadness washing away. “Really?”

“Are you kidding?” She shook her head, “I’ve been wantin’ to do that for months. Probably even before Angie’s party if I’m being truthful with myself.” She chuckled. “I swear to god Arthur, I don’t know how you can’t see how kind and caring and handsome you are.”

“Ain’t handsome. Ain’t kind. Ain’t any of those things.” He looked down at his lap.

She scoffed, looking away again. “I think your self-esteem is worse than mine is.”

His gaze shot back up to hers at that. “Now that is a mystery to me, darlin’. You are…well, I can’t even think of all the words that begin to describe you.”

Her eyes searched his, giving him a shy smile.

He swallowed thickly before continuing on, “You’re sweet, _you’re_ the kind and caring one, you’re thoughtful, you’re _supportive_.” He’d let the dam break, and now the words just kept tumbling out. “You’re goddamn gorgeous, I mean really.” He laughed, “Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as pretty as you, Nell.”

Her heart was beating so loud she could barely even hear him.

“How long have you felt this way about me?” she asked quietly.

He let out a breath, looking away for a moment. “Longer than I’d like to admit.”

She placed a finger under his chin, encouraging him to look at her again. When he did, she leaned forward, gently pressing her lips to his.

He leaned into her touch, moving one of his hands to her waist and pulling her closer.

She sighed after breaking the kiss, touching her forehead to his.

“Me too.”

He hummed in his throat, moving his head and catching her lips in another kiss. 

* * *

Nell woke up before Arthur the next morning, looking at him sleeping peacefully in the bed beside her. She smiled, reaching out and gently stroking his cheek.

His eyelids fluttered as he slowly roused from his slumber. When his eyes fully opened, he returned her sweet smile, catching her hand in his and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

She admired how his hair shone golden in the early morning rays.

He sat up, starting to self-consciously run a hand through his locks when he caught her looking at them.

She grabbed his hand, stilling him, and gave him a confused look.

“What’re you doin’?” she asked groggily.

“I know my bed head probably don’t look very good.” He said sheepishly.

She gave him a curious glance, pulling him back down into bed with her. She nuzzled her nose against him, whispering, “I like it. I like your bed head.”

His heart warmed in his chest, the heat travelling through the rest of his body.

“Really?” he asked her shyly.

She nodded against his chest, wrapping one of her hands into his shirt. “You really couldn’t ever look bad even if you tried, Arthur.” She pressed a chaste kiss onto his clothed chest.

He turned, wrapping his big arms around her and pulling her even closer against him. He nuzzled his nose into her hair, kissing her head.

“What do you wanna do today? His voice was still husky, thick with sleep.

She moved one of her arms from where it had been pressed against his chest and moved it up to play with his hair.

He hummed in his throat, letting out a contented sigh.

“Mmm” she thought for a minute, “I don’t know. I don’t have to work today. I should probably get a change of clothes from my place, though.”

He nodded against her, their bodies still pressed close, facing each other.

“You worried about Chris?” he asked tentatively, lightly trailing his fingers up and down her back.

She let out a sigh, “I mean, yea. I’m still kind of shocked he showed up the other night. We haven’t spoken since that day y’all got into that argument at the bar. I don’t like that he just shows up to my apartment sometimes.”

He wrapped himself around her more tightly then, protectively.

“I don’t either.”

She let out a quiet yawn against his shoulder before speaking again. “D’you think you would mind comin’ with me today? Back to my place I mean.”

“Of course, darlin’. When you wanna go?”

“Maybe like 11. What time is it now?”

He let her go, reaching over to his bedside table and grabbing his phone. He squinted, trying to focus his still tired eyes, “Uhhh it is…7:30.”

She groaned, “Why did we wake up so damn early?”

He chuckled at that, the laughter rumbling through his chest. She pushed herself back up against him.

“Mmmm, feels so nice.”

He laughed as he watched her smile widen.

“I ain’t ever gonna get over how damn cute that is.” He lifted her face away from his chest, gingerly pressing his lips to hers. She kissed him back with ardor, sighing when he finally pulled away.

“Let’s try to get some more sleep.” She said.

She rolled over, her back now facing him. He didn’t move for a moment, confused. That is, until she reached behind her, grabbing for his hand and pulling him against her.

He let out a little “ _oof_ ” as his body came to rest behind hers a little roughly. She let out a chuckle as she wiggled her hips against him, adjusting herself. He let out a shaky breath, hand hovering above her body before settling on the dip of her waist.

“Thought you wanted to sleep?” he swallowed, trying not to let himself get worked up.

She smirked, turning her head over her shoulder to look at him. “’Course I do. Just tryin’ to get comfortable.”

His brain was slow to catch up in his sleep-addled and now slightly aroused state. “Oh, you teasin’ me? Is that what this is?” He grinned down at her, leaning himself up on one elbow while his other hand still rested on her waist.

She gasped, “What, me? Of course not!” She grinned in amusement at him as he rolled his eyes, pretending to be offended.

She wiggled herself against him again, causing a soft grunt to claw its way out of his throat.

She started looking genuinely turned on at that, turning her torso halfway and slinging her arm around his neck as he still held himself over her. She tugged his head down, kissing him hard. He smoothed his hand down her hip and back up, kissing her back eagerly.

“Mmmm” she pulled back, licking her lips. He groaned again, watching her. His desire was really starting to wake him up, and he didn’t know if he’d be able to get back to sleep now even if he wanted to.

“Hey” she started, smirking at him.

“Yea?” He was still trailing his fingers up and down her torso.

“You don’t snore by the way.”

He let out a little sheepish laugh. “No I don’t, I was just…worried the other night that I’d maybe been too forward wit’ you when I kissed you, and so I figured I should be polite and give you some space.”

Her lips parted in thought. Then she reached for him again, kissing him lightly before shifting onto her back. “I was scared I’d done the same thing, actually.” She smiled at him. “That was very sweet of you, though.”

“You don’t ever need to worry about bein’ too forward wit’ me, darlin’.” He gazed down at her with such adoration it almost made Nell want to cry.

She returned his look, feeling so immensely grateful that they were _finally_ together.

She let out a yawn unintentionally, trying to cover her mouth with her hand.

“I think you need to get some more sleep, sweetheart.”

She nodded wearily, “will you stay with me?”

“Of course. I’ll try to get back to sleep too, and if not I’ll just get on my phone.” He huffed a little laugh.

“I don’t want to make you stay here if you’re not tired.” She told him

He shook his head, squeezing her hip affectionately. “I wanna be wit’ you.” He stroked his finger across her cheek gently before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She smiled at him, her grey eyes watching his. Finally she acquiesced and rolled over, settling down into the pillow. Arthur pressed his chest to her back again, wrapping his arms around her. Surprisingly, before he knew it, he’d drifted off to sleep.

* * *

“Would you mind grabbing my hairbrush from my bathroom?” Nell asked as she stuffed some clothes into a duffle bag.

He nodded, heading in the other direction.

“You sure you’re ok stayin’ with me for a few days?” he called from the other room.

“Yea, of course!” she called back, closing her dresser drawer before continuing, “is that ok with you?”

“Absolutely, I just don’t wanna smother you.” He called more softly now, coming back down the hallway towards her bedroom.

She scoffed, “Don’t think you could ever do that. I’m just so damn happy we’re finally together.”

He heard the smile in her voice, causing his lips to tug up into a smile of their own.

“I feel the same way, sweetheart.” He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and planting a kiss on her cheek.

He stepped back, admiring her and feeling his heart swell. It had been doing that a lot lately, he noticed.

“You got everythin’ you need?” he asked after a moment.

She turned to him nodding. “Yea.” She checked her bag one more time before zipping it up. “Is it ok if I keep a toothbrush and some shower stuff at your place from now on?”

He smiled, brushing some hair out of her face. “’Course.” She leaned into his touch when he moved his hand to cup her cheek. She turned her head, pressing a kiss to his palm.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this affectionate with anyone.” She laughed, slinging the duffel over her shoulder.

Arthur offered to take it for her but she politely declined.

They stepped out of her apartment, Nell locking it behind them as they started making their way back to his house.

“Really?” he asked after a minute.

“Yea. Is that weird?”

He shook his head before asking again if he could take her bag. She sighed in amusement, finally handing it over to him.

“Thank you, Arthur.” She took his free hand.

He looked both ways before they crossed the street.

“It’s not weird. It makes me feel…pretty good actually.”

“Good.” She brought their joined hands up to her mouth, kissing his fingers.

* * *

Arthur finished his dinner, standing up and taking his and Nell’s plates to the dishwasher.

“I think the guys are going down to the bar tonight. You wanna meet ‘em?” he asked, running a hand over his freshly trimmed beard. He’d decided to clip it back to its normal length when they’d gotten back from Nell’s apartment that afternoon. He was tired of it itching so damn much.

“Sure! That sounds like fun.” She stood up, pushing her chair in. She walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a tender kiss. “Lemme just go get changed and put my shoes on.”

_Jesus, he had gotten so goddamn lucky._

He put on his own shoes, tying up the laces while waiting on Nell. As his never ending self-deprecation was often wont to do, something he’d tried to get out of his mind came racing back as he stood alone. In the back of his head he was scared to death that Nell would fall back in with Chris. He was so scared to lose her, especially now that he finally _had_ her. _What if she were to find him lacking in some area? What if he bored her?_ His anxieties were starting to claw their way up his chest again, and he tried with everything he had to push them back down. When Nellie rounded the corner, her lips tugged up into a warm smile.

“You ready?” she asked, grabbing the doorknob.

Arthur nodded, suddenly starting to feel a little numb. _Was he just delaying the inevitable?_

He opened the car door for her, going around the truck to get in on the driver’s side. She noted how vacant his eyes were. Concerned, she put a hand on his leg. “Arthur? You ok?” she spoke softly to him, almost like speaking to a skittish animal.

He swallowed, starting the engine and looking over his shoulder as he backed out of the driveway.

When he starting driving forwards again, he let out a breath but kept his eyes on the road.

“It’s nothin’, darlin’.” He tried to give her a reassuring smile but she didn’t buy it.

“Is something on your mind? You can tell me.” She squeezed his knee, trying to comfort him before resting her hands back in her lap.

“Just…” he let out another sigh. “It’s a little embarrassin’.”

Nell’s brows knit together. “It’s ok, you can tell me. I won’t judge you.”

_This girl. This sweet girl. She was perfect._

“Just somethin’ I’m a little insecure about. It’s been on my mind a little bit recently.”

Nell watched him, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m really not tryin’ to sound like a dick, and it’s not that I don’t trust you, I just—I’m kinda worried about Chris.”

Her eyebrows furrowed further. “How do you mean?”

He scratched his beard, his shoulders slumping slightly. “I am…worried, that um, that—” He paused, trying to figure out how to word this.

She could tell this was really hard for him to say. He seemed really apprehensive about it.

“I’m just worried he’ll try to come back in your life, and I’m scared I…won’t be good enough.” He clenched his jaw, keeping his eyes forward. He didn’t really like sharing his feelings all that much, made him feel too vulnerable.

She looked down at her lap, fiddling with her fingers.

He snuck a glance her way, his face falling a little. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I know that was dickish of me, I—we don’t have to go out anymore if you don’t want to. I can turn the car around.”

She finally met his eyes, and he noted how sad she looked.

“Arthur…” she started quietly, putting one of her hands on his arm. “Even if he ever does try to show up again, how could you ever think you’re not good enough?”

He blinked, surprised that she wasn’t angry with him.

“That doesn’t make you sound like a dick in the slightest. That makes me so sad.”

He scrunched his brows, looking at her. “Why?”

“Because someone—Mary…conditioned you to think that expressing your thoughts and feelings is a bad thing. And it’s not. It’s a good thing. And it makes me so sad to think of everything she subjected you to, and how she must’ve changed how you think about yourself. And you are _so_ special to me. I don’t ever want you to feel that you’re not good enough, or that I would ever for a single second think of leavin’ you for Chris. You’re honest to god the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She talked emphatically, and he found himself quite honestly surprised. He was also surprised when he felt his damn eyes starting to burn. He felt overwhelmed. No one had ever talked about him in such a way before.

At that moment he pulled into a parking spot in front of the bar. Putting the truck in park, he didn’t say anything as he got out. He went to go open the car door for Nell but she was already climbing out and he found himself surging forward and wrapping his arms around her. She hugged him back tightly, rubbing an arm up and down his back soothingly. After a minute or two she pulled back and looked up at him. She cupped his face with her hands, watching his eyes shimmer as a couple tears rolled down his cheeks. She wiped them away with her thumbs. “You’re _good enough._ You’re lovely, and you’re perfect. You don’t hear it enough, Arthur. I’ll tell you every day if I have to.” She smiled at him and he pulled her back in tightly for a soft and slow kiss. After he broke the kiss she rested her head against his chest and he rested his chin in her hair.

_I love you. I love you. Goddamnit I love you._


	12. Telling the Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight guys, it's finally here!

“Hey guys!” John waved them over to where he and the other guys were sitting.

Nell gave them a happy grin, waving back.

Arthur felt like he was floating. He honestly probably looked like one of those cartoon characters that had hearts in their eyes right about now.

Nellie sat down in a chair, Arthur taking the one next to her. He held her hand under the table. He couldn’t keep his hands off of her, especially not after what she’d just told him.

“So,” John began, “What’ve you guys been up to? Haven’t heard from Arthur in a few days.” He gave him a knowing grin, making Arthur roll his eyes.

Nellie looked at Arthur, squeezing his hand before turning back to John.

“We’ve actually been staying at his place for a couple days.”

That piqued the interest of everyone at the table. Arthur could feel his face heating up.

“Are you guys...together?” Charles was pointing between them curiously.

Nell nodded shyly, and John let out a holler. “ _Finally!”_

Arthur groaned, burying his face in his free hand.

“This fool never shut up about you.” John continued, slapping Arthur on the shoulder.

Nellie laughed earnestly, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

Arthur smiled at her lovingly before turning back to John.

“You’re annoyin’ as hell, you know that?”

John laughed in his raspy voice, shaking his head.

“We’re real happy for y’all.” Lenny chimed in.

Arthur gave him a nod, thanking him.

“Hey, Angie is apparently training a new girl tonight. I’m gonna go up and say hi. I’ll be back in a minute.” She gave Arthur a quick kiss before turning to the other guys. “Y’all want any drinks while I’m up there?”

After Nell had gotten their orders, she went up to the front of the bar to introduce herself to the new girl and catch up with Angie.

John was grinning at Arthur like a damn idiot, and Arthur couldn’t help but grin back and laugh, he was still pretty over the moon about it himself.

“Arthur, this is awesome!” Charles said excitedly. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you this happy before.”

John and Javier nodded in agreement.

Lenny fidgeted with his hands on the table, finally voicing what everyone was probably wondering. “Not to be rude, Arthur, but what happened with Mary?”

The guys all looked at him expectantly, awaiting his answer.

He sighed, shaking his head. “We got in a real bad fight a few days ago. I was obviously real torn up about Nell, and I’m sure Marston filled all of you in on that.” He eyed John, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

John simply shrugged, which answered Arthur’s question. He then continued talking, “Anyways, I was real upset about Nell, and Mary was tryin’ to get all sweet with me and I just kinda snapped. Then I felt guilty so I told her about why I was upset and then of course she got jealous that I was hangin’ out with another woman and she accused me of cheatin’ on her.” He sighed in disgust. “And that just…Christ that made me mad. And I just ended it and left.”

The guys didn’t say anything for a moment as they soaked in the information.

Javier scoffed. “ _Mierda_ , good riddance.”

The other guys nodded, exasperated.

“She’s got some nerve accusin’ you of that when that’s exactly what _she_ did a couple years ago.” John scowled.

Arthur nodded, clenching his jaw. “Oh yea, I thought the exact same thing.”

“And Chris?” Charles asked.

“Nellie broke up with him.” He paused, “although he showed up to her apartment when we was…uh” His face went red, and John gave him a wide grin.

“Go on….” John prodded.

“It was just a kiss, Marston.” Arthur grumbled.

“Uh huh. No one’s face gets that red when talking about _just a kiss._ ”

“Alright fine…it got…pretty heated. But that’s not what’s important—”

“Is she a good kisser?” John interrupted, leaning forward.

Javier slapped his arm, trying to hide a laugh.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “You’re such a little perv.”

John chuckled, leaning back in his chair.

“But yes…she’s uh…” he let out a low whistle, “she’s a real good kisser.” Arthur admitted, re-adjusting his hat.

John folded his arms over his chest, smirking at Arthur.

“But anyways, so he showed up in the middle of that, and Nell was about to walk outside and tell him off but I grabbed her and we just snuck out the back door instead and we’ve been stayin’ at my house since.” Arthur shrugged.

“Well the guy is determined, I’ll give him that.” Charles said, shaking his head.

“Yea, that’s an understatement.” Arthur growled.

Just then Nell came back with all their drinks, passing them around the table before returning to her spot next to Arthur.

“Is the new girl nice?” Arthur asked, putting his arm around her.

She nodded, taking a drink. “Yea, she’s very sweet. Her name’s Jess.” She sighed, relaxing against Arthur’s arm. “Angie said congrats by the way” she grinned at him, “she was really excited.”

Arthur smiled, rubbing his hand up and down Nellie’s arm.

The group ended up staying there for at least 2 hours. When it finally got late enough, Arthur and Nell stood up, saying their goodbyes.

They walked to the exit, Arthur holding the door for her.

* * *

Nellie let out a yawn, stretching. She and Arthur kicked off their shoes, leaving them by the door.

“You tired?” Arthur asked, coming over to take her jacket.

“Mmm, just a little bit.” She nuzzled against him, resting her arms loosely around his waist. “Could you help me unzip my dress?” she asked, her head still resting against his chest.

“Sure, darlin’. Here, turn around for me.” He made a little twirling motion with his fingers.

She turned around obediently and he grabbed the small zipper, pulling it down. When she started shimmying out of it he turned around.

She chuckled, “You don’t have to look away, y’know.”

He didn’t move when he answered her, “Just wanna be respectful.”

When she spoke again, her tone had taken on more of a sultry tone. “What if I want you to look?”

_That_ got his attention. He turned around slowly, his mouth going dry.

She stood in front of him in nothing but her black bra and underwear.

She wore a seductive smile, stepping out of her dress and kicking it away.

His eyes moved up and down her frame, admiring her. He knew her body would be gorgeous, but _Jesus._

“You sure?” he asked timidly.

“I’ve been sure for a while.” She said, leaning forward. Her lips grazed the shell of his ear and he let out a groan. She pressed both her palms against his chest.

“Touch me.” She whispered, lightly sucking on his earlobe.

His damn knees were buckling. He hesitantly lifted his hands, placing them on her waist. He stood still for a moment, his brain unable to register that _this was really happening._ He almost couldn’t believe it.

“ _Please._ ” She whined softly. He closed his eyes, that warmth starting to form in his belly again.

He let one of his hands move down from her waist, palming her ass.

“ _Christ…_ ” He huffed out a couple breaths as he squeezed her roughly.

She chuckled flirtatiously, pressing kisses to his jaw and neck. He felt her shift, saw her starting to take her bra off. That shattered the last of his shyness. As soon as she dropped the bra to the floor, his hands were all over her. He groaned, moving his attention to her chest. He was unbelievably aroused by the fact that he could fit her breasts perfectly into each of his large hands.

She sighed as he squeezed one, pressing her body into his. She pulled her head back, biting her lip as she snaked a hand between them and palmed him through his pants.

He sucked in a breath, pushing himself against her greedily. She kissed him roughly, moving her hands to his face and grabbing him. He kissed her back, matching her aggressiveness. He cradled the back of her head and moved his other hand to her lower back to keep her close.

After a few moments he broke the kiss, taking her hand and leading her to his bedroom. She smirked as he sat her down on his bed, quickly getting on top of her and covering her with his body.

She tugged on his shirt. “Outta this.”

Without another thought, he sat up, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. Her mouth dropped open, and she immediately sat forward, latching her mouth onto his collarbone. He moaned, letting them fall back into the pillows while he held up his weight with his arms. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders, moving down his chest and his abdomen.

She let out a breathy “ _fuck”,_ causing a sharp pang of pleasure to run through him. In a swift motion, he hooked his thumb into the waistband of her panties, pulling them down, and when she lifted her hips, he swept them off the rest of the way. He wasted no time in lowering his fingers to her center, rubbing her gently. He pulled his head back so he could see her reaction. He panted open-mouthed, his eyes half lidded as he watched her face contort with pleasure and she writhed under him. He added a little more pressure and she moaned, starting to arch her back.

“Jesus Christ…” he whispered. He stopped rubbing her, instead sliding his two fingers down a little further, moving them back and forth through her slit. He found her to be absolutely _soaking._ He kept stroking her slowly, teasingly. “God, this all for me?” he asked in disbelief, feeling his cock twitch. She opened her eyes, nodding emphatically. “You have no idea how long I—Ahh!” She cut herself off with a moan as he had chosen that exact moment to slip a finger inside of her.

“ _Fuck…!”_ she brought her arms up by her head, gripping the pillow tightly. He added a second digit, burying them in her and curling quickly. She bucked her hips against his hand, letting out a high pitched whine.

He sped up his ministrations, very much enjoying how she was reacting to him. He watched her intently as he pleasured her. Her eyes were screwed shut tightly, her hair all across the pillow like a messy halo. He watched her breasts heave as she drew quick and heavy breaths. Finally, he just couldn’t take it anymore. He withdrew his fingers, and she let out a whimper of protest, lifting her head and watching him. He stuck them in his mouth, tasting her. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head.

He sat back, fumbling quickly with his belt. He cursed when his hands didn’t work fast enough. Nell sat forward, opening it for him and taking it out of its loops. Then she tried—a couple times—to get a grip on the buttons of his jeans. After a moment she managed to open them, unzipping his fly in the process. As soon as she had gotten the zipper down, his hands flew to his waistband, rapidly pushing his pants down. He ended up having to get off the bed, but once he had freed his legs from his pants and underwear both, he climbed back on top of her. Grabbing her wrist with one of his hands, he held it next to her head as he grabbed himself in his other hand, giving himself a couple of strokes. He was panting again, his arousal completely consuming him. He pushed forward slowly, rubbing the head of his throbbing member between her folds, covering himself in her slick. After a moment he started nudging her, lining himself up and beginning to sink into her. They both let out load moans as he filled her, inch by grueling inch, until finally he had sheathed himself completely. He stilled, blowing out puffs of breath, and closed his eyes. He let go of her wrist, moving his hand instead to her hip. He started moving, slowly at first. She dug her nails into his shoulders, groaning loudly. She breathed his name, starting to pant as he moved. Again, hearing his name on her lips had a feverish desire coursing through him. He cursed, bucking into her. He was trying his best to keep himself under control, but _fuck_ it was hard.

She looked up at him, those grey doe eyes hazy with lust. As if she had read his mind, she placed a hand on his bicep, giving it a squeeze. “It’s ok, Arthur.”

He nodded, lowering himself until their chests were almost pressed together. He grabbed one of her legs, hooking it over where his hip met his waist. Then he started speeding up, grunting with each thrust. He bowed his head, his hair already damp with sweat as he starting driving himself into her like a man starved. She whined, arching her back and closing the small gap between them.

Without warning, he sat back and started to pull her against himself roughly, his hips snapping harshly as he felt his orgasm approaching rapidly.

Feeling that pressure build up to an almost unbearable amount in the pit of her stomach, Nell pressed a finger to her center. She rubbed herself in time with his thrusts, letting out high-pitched, needy moans. Seeing her like this made him growl, his breaths coming out ragged and uneven.

“That’s my girl.” He praised, his voice rough and low.

Hearing that made the coil within her snap, and she cried out, digging her nails into his arm until they formed little crescent-shaped indents. She shuddered, riding out her high.

His hips stuttered as he felt her tense around him. He gave a few more wild thrusts before he yanked himself from her, pumping himself roughly before finishing over her chest and stomach.

He stilled for a few moments before collapsing onto the bed beside her, panting heavily. They were both covered in sweat, trying to catch their breath.

He turned to her, still huffing, and pressed a kiss to her lips.

They just laid there for a while, looking at each other in wonder. Finally, he got up, grabbing a rag from the laundry room and returning to her. He cleaned her gently before dropping the cloth in his hamper and getting back into bed. She turned towards him after they got under the covers, running her fingers over his stubble. He gave her a tired smile, settling onto his back. She moved, resting her head on his chest while he stroked her hair softly. She slung her leg over his torso, running her fingers through the hair on his chest.

He laughed lightly, “You’re goddamn perfect, Nellie.” He looked over at her, his eyes soft. “Jesus, I’ve been wantin’ to do that for so long.”

She smiled, nuzzling against him further. “Me too.”

* * *

Arthur woke up with Nell tangled around him. He smiled, turning his face to hers while she slept. His heart felt so full. And _God_ last night had been indescribable. Just thinking about her writhing under him had that stirring feeling returning to his stomach. He felt himself start to harden, remembering her beautiful face as he pleasured her _._ He relaxed his head into the pillow, breathing through his nose and closing his eyes. He was trying to curb his desire, but apparently his brain had other ideas. He looked down, annoyed to find he was creating quite a large tent in the sheets.

He carefully pried Nell’s hands off of him, quietly moving to the side of the bed so he could get up. He didn’t want to disturb her while she was sleeping. Right when he was about to get up, he felt Nell stir.

“Mmm, Arthur?” She was rubbing her eyes sleepily. She had propped herself up on her side, supporting her weight with her elbow. The sheets had fallen down around her waist. He turned his torso back towards her, his lap still covered.

“Hey, sweetheart. You ok?” He pet her hair lovingly.

She nodded. “You gettin’ up?”

She reached for him, and he let her pull him back down into the bed with her.

“Don’t leave just yet.” She murmured into his hair drowsily. She moved to throw her leg over his waist and he cringed internally when she opened her eyes, looking up at him.

“Sorry.” He looked back at her sheepishly.

She just gave him a small smirk, leaning herself up to kiss him quickly before laying back down on him, her head on his chest. Her hand reached for him, making him gasp as she stroked him lazily.

His eyelids fluttered. “Darlin’…you don’t have to do that.” He told her quietly.

She hummed in her throat, “I want to.”

She sped up her ministrations a little, watching his face.

He leaned back, putting one arm behind his head, and the other around Nell’s shoulders.

He let out a slow breath, watching her pump him smoothly under the thin sheet. She stopped only for a second, long enough to remove it so he could watch her touching him fully. Then her hand was back on him, stroking him with more purpose. His hips bucked weakly into her fist, and she smiled wickedly before letting out a quiet “ _god…”_ under her breath.

She gripped him a little tighter, keeping the same pace and earning a grunt from the man beside her.

Nell threw the rest of the covers out of her way as she crawled down his body, settling herself between his legs.

He lifted his head to look at her, his mouth agape.

She gave him another smirk before pressing her lips to the head of his cock. He twitched, now propping himself up on both elbows. She took him into her mouth, swirling her tongue just under the tip, making him release a sigh.

Nell met his eyes one more time before fully engulfing him between her plush lips. He let his head fall back and _moaned._ She responded with one of her own, the vibrations from her throat making him suck in several sharp breaths.

He watched her intently now. She had positioned herself on her knees and elbows, her ass in the air. He bit his lip, wanting to reach out and smack it, but clenching his fists beside himself instead. She bobbed her head up and down, using her hand to stroke what she couldn’t fit in her mouth. His stomach clenched, and he continued watching her through hooded eyes, gritting his teeth.

She finally removed her hand, trying her best to take all of him down her throat. She gagged at first, but focused her breathing through her nose, relaxing. His hand shot to her head, tangling in her hair. He was fighting the urge to thrust up into her wet, hot, _fucking perfect_ mouth. His chest heaving, he swallowed thickly.

She looked up at him, sensing what he was thinking. She gave him a subtle nod and that’s all he needed to go ahead. He bucked up into her, cursing lowly. She let him throat fuck her roughly, keeping her lips tight around him the entire time.

“You’re so goddamn _beautiful._ On your knees like this for me…” he trailed off as a heady wave of pleasure coursed through him. “Such a good girl… _shit.”_ He thrust up into her a few more times before finally stilling, letting out a long moan. She swallowed every last drop of what he gave obediently before letting go of his member with an obscene _pop._

“ _Jesus Christ_.” He let go of her hair, beckoning for her to come back up to him. She smiled impishly, climbing over his legs and laying back down next to him. He pulled her in for a passionate kiss, trailing a hand over her breast. He gave it a brief squeeze before continuing further down. She stopped his movements and he pulled back in confusion.

“I wanna wait ‘til later.” She bit her lip before continuing. “I wanna wait until I can’t take it anymore and then I want you to make me beg for it.” She had leaned in close to him for that last part, whispering in his ear.

When she pulled back, she found his eyes to be comically wide. She let out a seductive little chuckle, giving him one more slow kiss.

“I…” he started, but didn’t finish. He stared at her hungrily, letting out a small huff through his nose. “I never expected my sweet little Nell to be capable of bein’ so damn _dirty._ ” He smirked at her.

“I can be as dirty as you like.” She told him in a low voice, her hands running up the planes of his strong chest. Her eyes shone darkly.

He let out a moan. “Christ, if you keep talkin’ like that I don’t know how long _I_ can wait.”


	13. What a Tease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I took my inspiration of Nell's love for football from Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother (great show btw). Robin is into hockey, but this is basically how I pictured Nell when I wrote this scene.

He clasped his hands over his belt, watching her work. She eyed him, her eyes flicking down to his waist before giving him an expressive smirk.

“I see what you’re doin’.” She chuckled. “It’s not gonna work though.”

“What am I doin’?” he gave her a devilish smile. He lifted one hand to re-adjust his hat, keeping the other on the buckle of his belt.

“Teasin’ me.” She eyed him up and down, trying to cool the heat simmering under her skin. “You know I like it when you do that.” She nodded her head towards where his hands were resting. He gave a pleased hum, moving forward to rest his elbows on the bar.

She looked around before quickly pushing forward and giving him a peck on the lips.

“Quit distracting me” she laughed.

“I ain’t doin’ no such thing.” He chuckled back.

A customer came up to the counter, tossing a couple bills down and placing his order. Arthur decided to sit down in one of the chairs while Nell put together the patron’s drink. He took off his jacket, slinging it over the back. Nell eyed him before handing the customer his drink, her eyes widening a little at what he was wearing, a fitted grey T-shirt. He smirked at her knowingly.

He leaned back, bringing both of his strong arms behind his head. He looked utterly relaxed and she gave him a pleading look. His arms looked so damn _good._

“That’s not fair.” She whimpered.

He chuckled, “There ain’t no rules here, sweetheart.”

She huffed impatiently, putting her hands on her hips.

Arthur took his hat off, tossing it on the counter and running a hand through his brownish-blonde locks. “You was the one who wanted me to make you _beg for it_ this mornin’ _.”_ He imitated her breathy tone, making her bark out a laugh.

“Oh, I know you found that hot.”

“Of course I did, but now I’m gonna have a little fun with this.” He leaned forward, giving her a smug smile.

“Hmmm.” She thought for a moment before popping open the top two buttons on her shirt. “Two can play at this game.”

Arthur sat up straight again, eyes glued to her cleavage.

“It’s not polite to stare, Arthur.” She smirked.

“It’s a bit hard not to, Nell.” He furrowed his brow before finally tearing his gaze away, noting her licking her lips. He had to stifle a groan.

“Mmmhm. _And_ I’m wearing a push-up bra.” She leaned over the counter, her breasts leaning on the wood.

He gulped. “You don’t need a push-up bra, darlin’.”

She shrugged, winking at him, “We’ll see who breaks first.”

He gave her an exasperated look.

Arthur and Nellie teased each other for a while, upping the stakes as time went on. He was having a hell of a time keeping it together.

He had to literally bite his tongue when she popped a maraschino cherry into her mouth, keeping it trapped between her lips and sucking on the juice.

“Um…ma’am?” a customer waved to get her attention.

She startled, taking the stem off the cherry and swallowing the fruit.

“Can I have my drink now please? With the pineapple and cherry on top?”

Arthur hid his face in his hands, laughing as Nell turned bright red.

She nodded hastily, quickly adding the fruit to the man’s piña colada and handing it to him over the counter. He gave her a weird glance before walking away.

“Yikes…” she laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck.

Arthur let out another loud laugh at her expression. “Seems like your plans to seduce me are backfirin’, darlin’.”

She scoffed. “The night’s far from over.”

He nodded, giving a low hum. “Mind if I get a drink?”

“Sure. What do you want?”

He rubbed a hand over his beard, thinking. “How about…a margarita.”

“Really? You don’t strike me as the margarita type.” She snorted.

“I’m venturing out of my comfort zone.” He smiled.

She shrugged, gathering the ingredients and then putting them in the cocktail shaker. As soon as she started shaking, the lid flew off, completely soaking her chest. “Oops…” she smirked at him. “Now I’m all wet.” She gave a little mock pouty face.

He huffed, groaning quietly at her now glistening cleavage. “You’re gonna kill me.”

She grinned before picking up the lid of the shaker and starting over with his drink. When she was finished, she handed it to him over the counter.

“You’re gonna need to up your game, cowboy.” Nell said coyly. She really _was_ winning so far, he thought. His body had already started to heat up, and he’d had to adjust his pants more than once.

He took a long sip of his drink to distract himself, keeping his eyes locked on hers. “Mmm, wow that is good.” He inspected the glass before taking another taste.

He heard someone clearing their throat and looked over to see a couple more customers had come up to the counter. Two guys, and they were looking at Nell like she was a goddamn steak. He growled under his breath, glaring at them both.

“You spill something on yourself?” One of the men asked, pointing to Nell’s shirt. She looked down at herself, and looked back up, mortified. “Uh, yeah…I can be a little clumsy sometimes.”

He eyed her cleavage briefly, a smug look on his face.

“What’s your name?”

Nell’s eyes shifted to Arthur, who was starting to stand up and replacing his hat on his head.

“Look, do you guys want a drink or are you just here to ogle me?” she said, annoyed.

Arthur smirked. _Attagirl._

They looked surprised, but it didn’t seem to be enough to deter them.

“When do you get off work, sweetheart?” the other man asked, looking just as smug as his friend. She gave a disgusted expression. “Don’t call me that. Only my boyfriend calls me that.”

They snickered. “Boyfriend?”

“Hello.” Arthur was at his full height now, speaking lowly.

They looked shocked, and by the look he was giving them, she assumed they were probably scared to death.

“I think you boys should leave.” He folded his arms across his chest.

They looked at Nell once more before deciding it wasn’t worth it, and walked away.

He sighed, sitting back down.

“That was hot.” She was grinning at him.

He chuckled, “You think so?”

She nodded her head, reaching out to take his arm over the counter. “I kinda like you bein’ a little possessive…” her gaze flicked down to his lips and then moved back up.

His eyes widened, “Yeah?”

She nodded again, biting her lip softly.

He was getting all hot and bothered now, knowing he was the one to make her feel this way.

Nell heard her name being called, and she tore her gaze away from Arthur as another woman approached her.

“Hey Jess!” Nell gave her a little wave. Jess returned her friendly greeting. “You ready for your first shift?”

“I think so! I’m a little nervous about the traffic picking up tonight for the game. It starts in like 5 minutes by the way.” She smiled at Nell, hearing about her love for football through Angie apparently.

“Oooh you’re right! Shit. I’m gonna go grab a seat. Let me know if you need help or anything!” Nell called as she ran to find a booth. Arthur tipped his hat at the new girl before following after Nellie.

“I’m excited to finally see you in your element.” He smirked.

She laughed, fidgeting in her seat as she waited for the kickoff. “This is gonna be a good game too. Oh! We need some beers and snacks.” She was up again before he even had a chance to sit down. “You want anything in particular?”

“Nah, I’ll just have what you’re havin’.”

Arthur waited patiently for Nell to return when Angie walked up, giving him a wave. “You ready to see Nell watch a game?”

Arthur scooted over, making room for her as she sat down. “Everyone seems excited to see my reaction. I’m not quite sure what to expect, honestly. But I’m sure it’ll be a good time. Who’s playin’ anyways?”

“I can’t even tell you. I don’t watch football enough.” She laughed, sweeping her blonde side bangs out of her eyes.

Nell came back over with a pitcher of beer, some glasses, and chips.

“Jess is bringing cheese dip. I’m so excited.” She sat down before greeting her friend with a hug. Arthur smiled as he watched her talk with Angie. He reached over and touched her arm gently to let her know the kickoff was about to begin.

* * *

_Wow._ He laughed out loud seeing how animated she was. At times, she even yelled at the screen when the ref gave a call she didn’t like. He thought he looked at the TV _maybe_ twice in the first half, because he was much more focused on her.

“Oh c’mon! That was a terrible play!” she took a large gulp of beer. “Such bullshit.” She murmured under her breath.

Arthur and Angie were having a hard time keeping it together watching her. Every time she got angry, they gave each other looks and broke out into quiet chuckles.

After halftime rolled around, Nell seemed to settle a little. Angie excused herself to go check on Jess, and Arthur turned to Nellie, giving her a sly look.

“Is that challenge still on?” he took a sip of his beer.

“What?” she gave him a confused look before she remembered what he was talking about. “Oh, the seduction thing? Hell yea it’s still on. But so far I think I’m winning.” She smirked at him.

He scoffed, taking her hand and pulling her out of the booth.

“Well we’re about to change that.”

He rounded a corner and pulled her into the empty hallway that led to the employee exit, pushing her up against the wall.

She looked up at him in surprise, before giving a slow chuckle.

“Oh I see how it is. You’re gonna tr—”

He cut her off with a hungry kiss, smoothing one of his hands up her hip. She broke away, catching her breath. Her eyes were wide.

“Turn around.” He ordered quietly. She did as she was told, an excited smile on her lips.

He pressed himself up against her back, grabbing her ass with both of his hands. He rested his chin on her shoulder, his breath and stubble tickling her neck.

He moved one of his hands around to her front slowly. Her breathing hitched as his fingers travelled under the hem of her shirt. He ghosted over her stomach, making it clench, and she felt him smile.

Nell leaned her head back against him and closed her eyes while his hand continued trailing upwards, finally closing around one of her breasts.

He hummed in appreciation, massaging it roughly.

She let out a breathy moan, keeping her voice as low as possible.

“You like it when I’m possessive?” His voice was raw.

She nodded vigorously, letting out a sigh.

“You want me to be a little rough?” his voice was right in her ear now, making her shiver.

Again, she nodded.

He smirked, giving her breast one final squeeze before returning his hand to her ass. He smacked it roughly, making her yelp.

“Push your hips back against mine.” His voice was unwavering, and it drove her _mad._

She pushed herself into him, putting her hands against the wall to keep her balance.

Bunching one of his fists into the hem of her shirt just above her hip, he let his other fingers wander back around to her front. This time going to the button on her pants.

“Unzip your pants for me.” His commands were simple, but the way his voice sounded—so raw and rough and low…she had no problems agreeing to them.

She undid the buttons and zipper and returned her hands to the wall when she was done.

His fingers slipped under the lace of her underwear until he pressed them against her clit, rubbing softly. She whimpered, pushing back against him more.

He chuckled darkly, kissing her neck.

“You like that, don’t you?”

She nodded, her breathing ragged as he sped up.

Gathering her wetness between his fingers, he slipped inside her. She covered her mouth to keep from whining too loudly, and he smiled smugly.

She bucked against his hand. Not only was he fingering her, but the heel of his palm was simultaneously rubbing against her center, making for a _delicious_ combination.

“Move your hand.”

She obeyed, and he quickly replaced it with his unoccupied one.

“I wanna feel you _scream_ against me.”

She shuddered again, moving her hips against him in a regular rhythm now. He blew out a breath, trying to keep his composure, but soon his hips were rocking right along with hers. His hardness was pressed up against her ass firmly, making her groan.

He thrust his fingers into her aggressively, making her do good on her promise of screaming against his palm. The sounds were muffled, but he still felt himself starting to slip.

“You’re _mine.”_ He nuzzled her neck.

She pushed back into him so hard he almost stumbled. He grinned, knowing he’d found one of her weak spots.

“Whose are you?” He thrust harder, curling his fingers.

He took his hand away from her mouth while he awaited her answer. The only one she was capable of right now was a long, thin moan.

He stopped moving, starting to withdraw his hand before she cried out. “Yours! I’m yours.”

He grunted, biting her neck as he began to finger her again.

In the back of Nell’s head, she became aware of the fact that the football game was back on, but in this moment she only wanted _him._

“Turn around.” He told her, pulling his hand away completely.

She whined in protest, leaning back into him, seeking the friction that she craved.

He held her hips away, though everything in his body screamed at him not to.

“Turn around, Nell.” He repeated quietly, dangerously.

She did as he requested, and he got down on his knees, grabbing her pants and pulling them down roughly.

She gasped, looking around. She couldn’t believe it, but she was unbelievably turned on at the fact that unsuspecting people were just a short distance away. The only thing separating them from her and Arthur was a thin wall.

Once her pants were pooled around her ankles, she stepped out of them, and Arthur wasted no time in hoisting one of her legs over his broad shoulders.

She tangled her fingers in his hair. He looked up to meet her eyes, trying not to break character, but also wanting to be sure this was ok with her. She nodded slowly, and he moved into position, dragging the flat of his tongue between her folds.

“Christ darlin’….so goddamn wet for me.” He spoke in such an easy, arrogant manner; it made her whimper.

Her chest heaved with labored breaths. It was taking absolutely every fiber of her being to not scream right now with how good he was making her feel.

He went back between her legs, flicking his tongue against her clit and then blowing on it. Her knees buckled, her grip in his hair starting to burn his scalp. He found that he didn’t mind it though. This wasn’t who he usually was, had never been this forward or confident. But he wanted to give Nell anything she wanted, and she seemed to be enjoying herself just fine right now.

His soft lips closed around her center, sucking lightly while he returned two of his fingers to her aching core.

Her taste was intoxicating in and of itself, and Arthur was really starting to have issues with focusing—especially when she started grinding her hips against his face.

He groaned openly, feeling his throbbing cock straining against his jeans as he pleasured her.

He could feel her starting to tighten around his fingers, and that gave him all the more reason to speed up his movements. Opting to use his entire tongue again, he lapped at her greedily, alternating between nibbling and sucking her clit and lathing at her opening where his fingers still thrusted in and out of her.

Nell arched her back off the wall, moaning incoherently about his goddamn _torturous_ tongue feeling so good. He felt a bubble of pride in his chest at that, watching her writhe above him. He returned his focus solely to the center of her pleasure, rubbing it in quick circles with his drenched fingers.

She nudged him with her other leg, her fingers pulling at his golden hair.

“Get back up here.” She said breathlessly.

He stood, his free hand now flat against the wall next to her head, caging her in.

He added more pressure to her clit, and she bit her lip to stifle a moan, screwing her eyes shut.

He could feel the heat simmering off of her, could feel her starting to near her end.

“Ah!” she cried out before clapping her hand back over her mouth.

He smirked, god she was gorgeous like this.

He continued coaxing her towards her climax, whispering sinful things in her ear. When he felt her about to snap, he took his hand away, making her squirm in agitation.

“Arthur!” she pleaded, grabbing for his hand. He kept it obstinately still on his belt, leaning in towards her and whispering, “beg for it.”

“Huh?” she hadn’t heard him right.

“I said, beg for it.” His voice deep and gravelly.

She leaned her head back against the wall, looking up at him through heavy eyes.

“Please…” she began quietly.

“Not good enough.” He growled.

“Please..! Please, Arthur.” She arched her body towards his, and he finally started to continue.

“Yea….that’s more like it. Good girl.” He praised roughly, making her squirm in his grip. He felt her palm come down to cup his straining bulge, but he shook his head. “No. Gimme your hand.”

She whimpered, letting him take her wrist and hold it back up against the wall tightly.

He leaned his head forward as his fingers continued to tease her swollen nub. He traced his tongue down the column of her throat, occasionally nipping her. He felt her tense again, and he pulled back, watching her face.

“Cum for me.” That damn _sexy_ arrogant smirk was back on his lips, and that finally did her in.

She shook as he crushed his lips against hers and hungrily swallowed her moans.

Nell’s body finally slowed its trembling, and Arthur backed away, pulling her pants back up gently and buttoning them for her.

She looked at him with absolute awe, still trying to catch her breath.

Even though she knew he must be absolutely aching to fuck her raw right now, he gave her one of his usual sweet smiles, planting a tender kiss on her lips.

“Was that good?” he asked earnestly. It tugged at her heart how much he wanted to just _please_ her.

She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing him in for a lengthy kiss.

“Can I return the favor?” she asked huskily.

She could tell he was trying to keep himself in check, and she could tell by the look on his face that he was picturing himself just absolutely pounding into her relentlessly.

Instead he just shook his head, “I don’t want Angie to get suspicious. We’ve already been gone a while.”

“Later then?” she asked.

He nodded, taking her hand in his.

“Wait.” She looked at him, made sure he was watching her closely when she took the hand that had been pleasuring her and pushed his fingers into her mouth.

He groaned, his cock twitching.

“Christ, woman.” He whispered, knitting his eyebrows together as she licked him clean.

Still he didn’t break, though he looked like he was very close.

She hummed, taking his hand in hers again when she was finished. “Hmm, I’m impressed Arthur. You ended up winnin’ tonight.” She glanced at him and saw a small smile tugging at his lips.

“You made it _very_ hard, sweetheart.” He laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Arthur putting his hands on his belt is one of my kinks lol. This chapter was so fun to write, I hope y'all enjoyed!


	14. Love? What's That?

Arthur leaned over the fence, watching as Nellie urged the horse into a canter. He smiled, nodding his head in approval at her as she looked over at him. She grinned, lining the bay gelding up towards a line. She was starting out low, jumping about 2 feet, but she was going up to 3’6” today, something that Arthur was quite nervous about. He watched in curiosity as she cleared the first jump, the horse landing firmly in the sand before continuing on.

As she brought the horse back down to a walk, she gave him a proud smile, walking over towards him.

“You wanna try yet?” she teased.

He shook his head, chuckling. “I think I’ll let you handle it today, I’m enjoyin’ watchin’ you.” He reached his hand up to her, grasping her fingers lightly as she leaned over the neck of the horse towards him.

“You need me to raise the jumps?” he asked, looking back towards the line in the middle of the ring.

She nodded, and he did just that, walking back to the fence when he was done. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous for her. She had assured him she’d jumped higher before, over 4 feet, which nearly gave him a heart attack. He was so happy seeing her so carefree, but he always worried about her getting hurt, which with horses, he knew was sort of inevitable. He leaned against the fence again, raising a hand to block out the sun in front of his face. Nell urged the horse back towards the line. Again, she cleared the jumps with ease, patting the horses’ neck when he slowed.

Arthur shook his head, grinning. “Now that is damn impressive, Nellie. Thank you for lettin’ me come watch you.”

“Anytime, Arthur.” She smiled softly at him as he came up to stand next to the horse, laying a hand over her thigh.

“You good here? I gotta run to work.” He patted her leg.

“’Course. Can I…stay with you again tonight?” she asked timidly.

He grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it gently. “You don’t need to ask, sweetheart. I always want you there.”

She smiled, seemingly relieved.

After sharing a sweet kiss, Arthur headed to his truck and drove off towards the ranch.

Nellie lay on Arthur’s couch, scrolling through TV shows as she awaited his return from work. She must have dozed off at some point because she awoke to the sound of the front door being closed. She opened her eyes sleepily as Arthur walked over to her, leaning over and stroking her hair softly.

“You have a good nap?”

She nodded, letting out a yawn. “How was work?”

“Fine, nothin’ too eventful. I’m gonna take a shower real quick. You hungry?”

She shrugged, “I could probably wait a couple hours to be honest.”

“Ok. I’ll be back in a minute.” He turned to walk away when he felt her hand reach out and touch his forearm.

“I need to shower too…” she began, watching him intently.

His lips curved up into an amused smile. “Oh yeah?”

“Mmhm. You know, it’d probably be better to save water.” She smirked at him mischievously.

He let out a chuckle, nodding. “You know what, I think you’re right.” He helped her up, “good for the environment too, right?”

She nodded. “Oh yes, very good. And the water bill.”

“Uh huh.” He gave her a lopsided grin.

Their hands were on each other well before they even got to the bathroom.

Nell broke away, her lips slightly swollen. She walked over to the shower and turned it on before turning her head over her shoulder, giving him a seductive look. He stopped, crossing his arms over his broad chest and giving her an excited grin.

She started by crossing her arms across her torso, lifting her shirt over her head and throwing it out of the way. Next came her bra, followed by her belt. She made sure to take her time with the jeans, pushing her ass out and arching her lower back as she slowly inched the denim down and revealed her skin to his hungry eyes. She heard him groan, and she smiled to herself. Now fully nude, she flicked her long hair over her shoulder.

“You comin’ or what?” she teased, turning her body halfway so he could get a better glimpse of her figure.

She saw his jaw working, his eyes traveling up and down her frame as he let out a huff. She chuckled, stepping under the water and slicking her hair back. Within seconds, Arthur had undressed and joined her. He kissed her harshly, hands roaming down her wet body before landing on her backside and squeezing. She moaned into his mouth, silently snaking her hand down and wrapping her palm around his aching member. He let out a hiss, bucking against her despite his attempts to stay still. He let out a heavy breath, leaning his forehead against hers as she jerked him slowly. His short nails dug into her ass cheeks, hard enough to leave marks. She angled her head up, capturing his lips in a slow and sensual kiss and speeding up her hand. He started to rock against her, breaths coming out in short and ragged bursts.

She let him go suddenly, relishing in the way he looked at her so _desperately_. He looked so needy, and she _loved_ it. She turned around, lightly placing her hands against the tiled wall. She heard Arthur make a small noise as he gently guided her back so that she was facing him again. “I wanna see your face...just for a little bit” His voice was quiet, bashful.

It warmed her cheeks, how intimate he was. She bit her lip and nodded, turning around and placing her hands on his shoulders.

Nell squealed in surprise as he surged forward, reaching behind her and lifting her effortlessly against the wall. He pinned her with his torso, supporting her under her butt, his hands gripping her flesh. It was a little awkward at first with him trying to find his footing against the slippery floor. But once he had it, he wasted no time in pushing his hips forward and letting her guide him inside. He sucked in a sharp breath, finding her to be extremely slick and therefore offering virtually no resistance.

Her hands carded through his wet hair, catching his gaze as he retracted his hips slightly and then pushed back in. Her mouth fell open in a silent moan, her grip on his locks tightening.

“Christ, Arthur…”

He groaned, sliding in and out of her a few more times before readjusting, stepping back just a few inches so that her back was off the wall. She was incredibly aroused at the fact that he was able to hold her up so easily. She watched his strong arms as he started to bounce her up and down on his cock.

He hit her sweet spot, and she threw her head back and moaned loudly before sucking in a deep breath, her eyes rolling backwards. He hit it again, and again, drinking in the sounds of her frenzied whines.

“Arthur, I’m about to—”

He licked away the water that was continuously streaming down his face and set her down. She whimpered, confused. He panted, reaching his hands down and grasping her hips. Then he was turning her around, pushing her back up against the wall. She was all too eager to comply, sticking her ass out to him and letting out a loud, “ _fuck”_ as he slipped back inside her.

He fucked her with abandon, one hand smoothing up her back and the other staying on her hip. She leaned forward just slightly, burying her face in the crook of her arm as her other hand wandered down between her legs. The heat of the shower plus the sensations coming from her swollen clit and the delicious sounds of Arthur’s hips slapping against hers had her screaming in no time.

He faltered, his hips stuttering as he let out a string of curses. He gave a few more shallow thrusts and then he was hastily removing himself from her exquisite warmth and finishing along her lower back and ass. His legs wobbled slightly as he stepped back, giving her backside a light slap and admiring how it jiggled against his palm.

Nell straightened, turning around and pressing herself into him, kissing him feverishly for just a moment and then huffing out a sated breath.

“Jesus” she laughed breathily. He grinned, cupping her cheek lovingly.

“How much water you think we saved?” he asked sarcastically.

She laughed, shaking her head before stepping into his arms and resting herself against his chest, closing her eyes. His arms came up and wrapped around her, one hand gently stroking her head.

* * *

A few months had passed since Arthur and Nell had started dating. He was finding it more and more difficult to bite his tongue whenever a “ _I love you”_ popped into his mind. Of course he wanted to tell her, but he was so scared of messing things up and scaring her off. His feelings for her had started to intensify even before they had started dating if he were being honest with himself. He had inklings of how he truly felt the day he had broken up with Mary, but it wasn’t until Nell had told him how important he was to her that Arthur knew for sure.

Mary had tried to get in touch with Arthur a few times since their split, but for the first time since he had met her, he didn’t feel the urge to message her back, and that felt pretty good. He and Nell were always very transparent with each other if one of their exes ever tried to contact them, and the amount of trust they had between them made him love her all the more.

“You and Arthur seem so happy.” Jess said while cleaning a tumbler. Nellie smiled shyly and tucked some loose hair behind her ear.

“We are. I never thought I’d find a guy like him to be honest.”

Jess had become close friends with Nell and Angie over the last few months, and now they practically told each other everything.

Jess turned around as Angie walked out of the kitchen, putting her blonde hair up into a messy ponytail.

“Y’all workin’ together tonight?” Nell asked.

They nodded. “Yep. I’m sure you’re enjoying your night off! They sure do seem to schedule you to work a lot here.” Jess pointed out.

Nellie shrugged and took a sip of her beer. “They do, but the tips aren’t bad so I can’t complain.”

“Nell, where’s Arthur?” Angie asked, looking around.

“At work. I think he’ll be gettin’ off soon though.” She took another gulp of beer. “Why?”

A small smile crept up onto Angie’s face. “I’ve just been meaning to ask something.”

Nell’s heart starting pounding a bit as she leaned back in her seat. “What’s that?”

“Well, it’s just that you’re so affectionate with him. Like, in all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never been that affectionate towards a guy.”

Nellie arched an eyebrow. “Sure, but Arthur’s a special guy.” She brought the beer bottle back to her lips.

Angie’s grin grew wider. “So…do you love him?”

Nellie almost choked on her drink, causing Angie and Jess to laugh.

“I think you do.” Jess remarked, still smiling.

Nell put a hand to her chest to calm her coughing fit before taking a deep breath. “I don’t know. I…think I do? But I don’t really know how healthy love is _supposed_ to feel, y’know?”

Her friends’ expressions grew sad and somber. Angie reached over the counter and put her hand comfortingly on Nell’s shoulder.

“I know, hon. I’m sure this has been confusing for you, and probably for him too. His ex sounds awful.” Angie shuddered.

“Hell, maybe Chris and Mary should get together.” Jess laughed.

Nell snickered softly, shaking her head. “Yea, maybe then he’d stop trying to contact me.”

Angie’s face twisted in disgust. “You’re kidding me. Still??”

Nell nodded, letting out a sigh. “I don’t think he’s ever gonna stop.”

“You could always report him. Or get a restraining order.” Jess proposed.

Nellie considered this for a moment. “Hm, I guess I could, I just doubt that would really deter him from calling or texting me.”

“Why haven’t you blocked him?” Angie asked.

“Cuz the last time I tried that he just kept creating new emails to talk to me.”

“Jesus. He’s obsessed, Nell.” Jess looked nervous.

“I know.”

Nellie felt her phone buzz in her pocket and took it out. Her face lit up when she saw Arthur’s name.

_Arthur: Hey sweetheart, just got home from work. You free?_

_Nell: Hey! Yea, I’m at the bar._

_Arthur: Great, I’ll be there soon._

Angie smirked at her friend knowingly.

“Arthur?” she asked casually.

Nell grinned and nodded her head.

“Hey, y’all.” Arthur greeted as he walked up to the bar. He rubbed a hand on Nell’s back and leaned down to kiss her.

“Hi, Arthur.” The other girls said happily.

He sat down and Nell’s senses were overtaken by his clean scent. Pine and a dash of mint. She leaned her head in her hand, gazing at him lovingly.

“I love the soap you use.” She said dreamily.

He chuckled, running a hand through his damp hair.

“Yeah?” he took her hand under the counter and smiled at her.

She nodded lazily before breaking her gaze and taking another swig of beer.

“How was work?” Nellie asked.

Arthur shrugged, “Not bad. Not very eventful either. How’s your day been?”

Angie watched the two talk. She noted how relaxed and happy her friend looked. And that’s when she knew, whether Nell realized it or not yet, that she was indeed in love with him.


	15. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song is Lochloosa by JJ Grey & Mofro. One of my favorites, y'all should listen to it while reading :D

They’d driven about 20 minutes outside of town to a new restaurant that had just opened up. It was a casual place, something Nell seemed happy about, and they had live music on Saturdays. So when Saturday rolled around, Arthur planned a date night.

The restaurant was situated on a lake, with the rear balcony stretching out over the water. String lights crisscrossed above the outdoor seating, creating a perfect atmosphere that was cast in a golden glow. The band was starting to tune up their instruments as Arthur looked out across the water. He took a breath and let it out slowly. He was going to tell Nell how he felt tonight and he was scared as _hell_.

The wooden planks of the outdoor deck creaked under Arthur’s boots as they walked up to the bar. As Nell ordered for the both of them, Arthur looked for a table. Spotting one in the far corner, he let Nellie know where he was going and ambled over before it was snatched up. He shook out his clammy hands, readjusting his hat as he sat down. The tables and chairs were tall, giving them a gorgeous view of the sunset. Orange and pink streaked the sky and bled down into the water softly. The evening chill had just started to set in, and Arthur tugged on his tan jacket, looking up as Nellie approached. He took his drink from her gratefully, quickly taking a sip to try to calm his nerves.

“You ok?” she asked curiously as she took a drink.

He nodded, licking his lips and then giving her a soft smile.

Nell reached out and took his hand for a moment before letting go and glancing at the menu.

“I already love this place. Look at this view.” Nell remarked, looking up.

“I know, and I’m excited for the music to start.” Arthur answered, hoping maybe that would drown out the sound of his pounding heart. He wouldn’t be surprised if Nellie could hear it right now.

The couple talked about random things until their waitress approached the table and took their orders. By that point the band had started playing, and Arthur blew out a breath of relief. He watched Nell affectionately as she swayed with the music.

The sun had reached that perfect spot on the horizon where twilight was fully upon them, and so when the light shone off the water, it wasn’t blinding. Fireflies floated up and down lazily in the summer air, blinking.

The band started playing a song called _Lochloosa,_ something Arthur had never heard, but was enjoying. This really was the perfect setting, so it was now or never.

_“Homesick but it's alright_

_Lochloosa is on my mind_

_She's on my mind_

_I swear it's ten thousand degrees in the shade_

_Lord have mercy knows, how much I love it”_

Arthur could’ve sworn Nell was an angel, surrounded by the golden haze of twilight, with this lovely song playing in the background. It was perfect, _she_ was perfect.

“This song makes me miss the South.” Nell commented with a contented smile on her face.

“Yeah?” Arthur asked, watching her as she continued to sway slowly with the music.

“Mmhm. My family used to vacation down in Louisiana in the summer, which is actually where my mom lives now.” She took a drink before continuing, “and I know not a lot of people like the swamps, but they have a certain charm to them—something about that Spanish moss is just so pretty.” She gave him a tipsy grin, putting her head in her hand and gazing at him.

“You ever think about going back?” he asked, grabbing her hand across the table.

“Yeah, sometimes.” She admitted, turning her head to now watch the band play.

Arthur nodded before clearing his throat nervously. “Nell, I have somethin’ I wanna tell you.”

Nell gave him a questioning yet happy gaze while she waited for him to continue. Before he could though, their waitress returned.

“Hey, sorry for keeping you two waiting!” she apologized before placing their plates on the table.

“Oh, this looks so good. Thank you.” Nell looked at her fish hungrily.

Arthur blew out a dejected sigh. He’d lost the moment. Damn.

“Can I get another whiskey, please?” he asked the waitress while raising his glass a little.

While he awaited his refill, he and Nell tucked into their meals. 

* * *

A still slightly tipsy Nell followed Arthur to his door as he unlocked it and let them in.

She flopped down on the couch with a huff, putting her hair up.

Arthur chuckled, “you enjoy dinner, sweetheart?”

Nell nodded vigorously, “Oh my god, yes. So good.” She sat up. “Thank you for such a perfect evening.”

He smiled down at her.

“Didn’t you want to tell me something?” she cocked her head.

“Oh, uh—yea, I just…don’t think now is the right time.” He answered, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“Is it bad?” she asked, now nervous.

“No, no. Not bad, just—it’s important. And I want it to be at the right time and place.”

She watched him intently before speaking again. “Ok…” she still looked nervous.

Arthur sat down on the couch next to her and caressed her cheek. “I promise it’s not bad, darlin’.”

Nell leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. When she felt Arthur’s lips on hers, she let a soft sigh escape her throat.

She kissed him back tenderly at first, until their lips started moving against each other’s in a slow and steady rhythm.

He pushed her down gently and climbed on top of her, settling himself between her legs. He pressed his mouth to hers again with more fervor, angling his head to the side. Nell grabbed his hat and threw it on the opposite couch before running her fingers through his hair. He gave a quiet moan, and she took the opportunity to slip her tongue inside his mouth. She’d never tire of the way he tasted. Her senses were met with the smoky flavor of whiskey and a subtle amount of mint.

She leaned back so that she could pepper his jaw with kisses. She traced it with her tongue afterwards, enjoying the slight burn that his stubble caused. She felt his hands tighten on her body, and she smiled. She could get drunk on the feelings he brought up in her when she turned him on. It made her feel powerful, to bring such a big man to his knees from her touch alone. She quivered in his arms, and with a growl, he buried his face into the crook of her neck, harshly sucking on the skin there.

She moaned, smoothing her hands up his broad back before tangling them in the ends of his hair.

Her eyes were screwed shut, her brows furrowed as he suckled and nipped at her throat. Before she could stop herself she whispered breathily, “I love you.”

He stopped, going rigid, and her eyes flew open. _Oh, she was such an idiot._

Arthur pulled back a few inches, his body still hovering over hers. His eyes looked at hers hungrily. His voice was rough and low when he finally spoke. “Do you mean that?”

She gulped, fearing she’d ruined everything. “Jesus, Arthur. I-I’m sorry.” She ran a hand over her face in embarrassment.

He stopped her hand with his, holding it instead.

“Nell?” he waited for her answer.

“Yes, I mean it.” She whispered faintly, not able to meet his gaze. Her cheeks burned. She wished she’d have just kept her damn mouth shut.

When she finally did look at him again, she didn’t find him looking put off. In fact, he was grinning happily.

She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off as he kissed her, hard. He pressed her down into the couch from the force of it. He only pulled back to quickly kiss her cheek, her nose, her jaw, and then finally her mouth again. She gasped, laughing lightly.

“Good…cuz I’m in love wit’ you.” He rumbled in a low voice, and then she let him kiss her again, and again, and again.

Finally she put a hand to his chest to stop him.

“Arthur, I need to breathe!” she laughed.

“Sorry” he chuckled sheepishly. While she took in a couple lungfuls of air, he busied his mouth on her collarbone.

He heard her sigh happily and he lifted his face to meet her gaze. She used her fingertips to travel lightly over his strong jawline, admiring it. She placed her thumb and forefinger on his chin, encouraging him to come back up to her eager lips. He complied quickly, his head a jumble of soft and sweet thoughts. He rolled off of her halfway, supporting his weight on an elbow while he tucked away some stray hair that had fallen out of her ponytail.

He traced his thumb over her velvety lips, smiling when she pressed a kiss to his fingertip. She guided him to lie on his back before climbing on top of him and nuzzling herself to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, tracing lazy patterns on her back with his fingers.

“Is that what you were gonna tell me at dinner?” she asked quietly after a moment.

He huffed out a little laugh, “Yes. I was real nervous.”

She pushed herself up, looking down at him incredulously. “Why??”

He scooched so that he was leaning back against the armrest, keeping her in his lap. “I was scared you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

She gaped at him. “How could I not feel the same way? Especially after everything you’ve done for me?”

He looked at her with adoration in his eyes.

“I dunno…” he mumbled. “Cuz I’m not all that special.” He laughed.

She scowled at him. “Yes you are.” She placed her hands on either side of him. “But I know you’ll never believe me if I use my words….” She simpered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, confused.

She rolled her hips against him, making him gasp.

“Oh shit—I get what you’re sayin’ now…” His laugh trailed off into a groan.

She smirked, rolling her hips against him once more. His hands found her thighs, holding her in place. She felt him starting to harden beneath her. That same pride from earlier resurfaced, and it made heat bloom in her stomach.

She leaned down, her mouth next to his ear as she trapped the lobe between her teeth and suckled. When his breathing stuttered she smiled.

“I love you” she whispered.

Arthur whimpered out a strained _“fuck”_ , and just from that he was ready to go. She felt all of him pressed against her inner thigh. And _jesus_ he was hard as a rock.

He sat up abruptly, wrapping his arms around her before flipping them. He jumped off the couch, yanking off his belt and jacket. He cursed loudly when he tried to fumble with his buttons. “ _Every_ _goddamn time”_

Nell tried to stifle a laugh, “What’s wrong?” she asked innocently.

“Damn pants get too tight when I’m ha—” he looked up at her, temporarily stopping his ministrations. “Oh, ha ha.” He tutted, trying to hide a smile.

She sat back, watching him smugly as his hands got back to work on his buttons. He gave her a pleading look, “darlin’, I ain’t got the most patience right now…” he huffed, near begging.

A heady wave of pleasure sparked through her at his admission, making her screw her eyes shut. Then she was shedding herself of her clothes almost as fast as he was.

Finally he got back on the couch, leaning back against the armrest again as he pulled Nell on top of him. She barely got a breath in before he was encouraging her to lift her hips up so he could push into her. He was trying his damndest to not just slam her down onto his aching cock, especially once her silky walls started enveloping him. He was hard to the point where it was actually starting to _hurt._

He closed his eyes and blew out a breath to try to keep himself under control, but _fuck_ this was hard. Her core closed around him in a vice grip that had him groaning before he was even fully seated.

“Arthur?” Nell asked, concerned.

“Don’t…wanna…hurt…you” Jesus Christ, he couldn’t even formulate his words properly right now.

“You won’t, I promise.” She kissed his temple and then he grabbed her hips and slammed her the rest of the way down. She let out a gasp and then a loud moan.

“You ok, darlin’?” he asked gruffly.

He felt her nod against him and then he leaned back a bit more, Nell still on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and set an absolutely brutal pace.

He felt her nails dig into his shoulders, and her moans were _right_ in his ear, further spurring him on. He kept one hand wrapped around her torso while the other lifted to cup the back of her head.

Jesus she felt good.

Of course she had always felt unreal, but now she loved him. She _loved_ him. Someone as unlovable as him had somehow won over the best woman he’d ever met.

He felt her lift herself just an inch or two so that she could pleasure herself as he fucked her. He felt her grow wetter, and he glided in and out of her even faster and even harder.

She bowed her head against his chest, her fingers trying to keep up with his pace.

He felt her start to clamp down around him and he cursed. When she fell apart he bit down on her shoulder to keep himself grounded. He didn’t want this to end yet.

He managed to flip them so that he was now on top. Sweat dripped from his brow onto her heaving chest, and he growled at the sight of her.

He gritted his teeth, trying to fight off his orgasm as best as he could. He heard Nell whimper breathily, “you can cum inside me, if you want.”

And that absolutely did him in.

“Ah, _Christ_.” He groaned loudly. With a tugging sensation in his gut, he finished deep inside her, his hips stuttering. He breathed heavily, his eyes meeting hers.

“Jesus Christ, I love you.” He smiled, his chest still heaving.

He pulled out of her warmth, leaning down on the other side of the couch and motioning for her to follow him. She crawled over his body, tucking herself under his chin. “I love you too.”

“Was that—are you on birth control?” he asked while stroking her hair. “I didn’t even think— damnit.” He groaned at himself.

Nell lifted her head, pressing a comforting kiss to his lips. “Yes, I have an IUD. I can’t get pregnant.”

Arthur heaved a sigh of relief, pressing his unoccupied hand to his forehead.

“Oh my god, I can’t—that’s a dangerous thing to say to me during sex, sweetheart.” He laughed breathily.

She chuckled with him, “Oh yeah?”

He kept his hand on his forehead. “Yeah. You say that and it’s game over for me.”

She felt herself start to heat up again. “Christ, you’re gonna get me riled up again.” She played with the hairs on his chest, chuckling.

He scratched lightly up and down her back and she practically purred against him.

“I’m so glad you love me.” He whispered, staring at the ceiling and smiling. He still couldn’t believe it.

She closed her eyes and hummed in her throat. “I will always love you, Arthur.” She nuzzled him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment, they make me so happy!


	16. Would You Go With Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. This chapter is a little bit shorter, but I hope y'all still enjoy it!
> 
> Side note: Abigail is finally here! She'll play a bigger role in the story later on, just wanted to finally introduce her

“Ok Nell, tell me when to stop.” Angie moved her hands farther and farther apart until Nell gave her a playful scowl.

Angie kept going, “Jesus! That’s not possible…right?” She and Jess snickered.

Nell rolled her eyes. “There’s no way I’m tellin’ you how big he is.”

“Uh huh.” Angie started over, and Nell finally laughed.

“I’ll say how big my ex was if it makes you feel better.” Jess said casually.

Nell had to bite back a chuckle at her brazenness. “Alright.”

“7.” Jess said secretively.

Nell and Angie looked impressed.

“Alright Angie, your turn. Who was your biggest?” Jess continued.

“Ah geez….maybe 6 and a half?” Angie said after thinking for a moment.

“Nell?” Both girls looked at her expectantly until she sighed in defeat.

“Jesus guys, y’all are such middle schoolers.” Nell paused. “He’s uh….8.”

“8?!” They both said loudly.

“Hi ladies.” Arthur came up to the bar, surprising them.

All three girls screamed, making him jump and look at them in confusion until Angie broke out into a fit of hysterics.

“Did I do somethin’?” Arthur asked, still puzzled.

Nellie hid her face in her hands, her cheeks burning bright red.

“No, Arthur, you didn’t do anything at all.” Angie got out between laughs.

Jess started fanning herself while shooting Nell a wink.

Arthur clasped his hands around his belt buckle, giving everyone a bemused look.

Finally Nell got up from her seat, grabbing his hand and leading him to the back of the bar where their friends were waiting at a table.

“What was that all about?” He gave her a boyish grin.

“Nothin’.” She laughed sheepishly, still utterly mortified.

“Nell!” The boys welcomed her boisterously.

She felt a grin pulling at her lips. Her eyes swept across the table, landing on a woman she had never seen before. She quickly stuck out her hand, introducing herself.

John had his arm around the new girl and leaned forward to introduce the two. “Nell, this is my girlfriend Abigail. Abigail, this is Nell.”

“Nice to meet you!” Nell said happily.

“Likewise.” Abigail responded with a small smile.

The group fell into a comfortable rhythm, catching up on each other’s lives and talking about plans for the coming weekend.

* * *

“I’ve missed you.” Arthur whispered in her ear as he held her close. They swayed gently to the music that was playing at the bar. It was couples’ night again, much to Arthur and Nell’s amusement. She supposed it would always bring a smile to her face now, reminding her of the night she first kissed Arthur.

“Oh yea?” Nell looked up at him teasingly.

They’d both been slammed with work the past couple of weeks, and had barely gotten to see each other. She had to admit that she’d missed him too.

He nodded against the side of her head, rubbing his hands up and down her back tenderly. When she pulled back to say something, he ducked his head and captured her soft lips in a kiss. Feeling warmth flood every inch of her body at his tender act, she slung her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She could hear John chuckling somewhere off to her right, making her accidentally break her lips from Arthur’s as a smile formed on her mouth.

She looked over, finding John holding Abigail close as he watched them with amusement.

Arthur threw a glance his way, grinning. “Glad they’re back together.”

Nell hummed, agreeing with him. This was the happiest she had ever seen John.

Her cellphone ringing brought her out of her musings. She pulled it out of her pocket, seeing her mom on the caller ID. Arthur nodded at her as she made her way over to the exit and stepped outside.

“Hey mom!” Nell greeted.

All she could hear on the other line was soft crying. A crease formed between Nell’s brows, sudden worry enveloping her.

“Mom?” she called softly.

A few more moments passed before her mother answered.

“Nellie, I’ve got some bad news.”

Nell clutched her arm to her chest, waiting patiently for her mom to continue.

“Is everything ok? Are you ok?”

A pause.

“Nell, I’ve got cancer.”

* * *

Arthur held Nellie close on her sofa as she cried into his shirt. He pet her hair softly, whispering comforts in her ear.

“What can I do sweetheart? Do you wanna book a plane an’ go see her?” Arthur asked quietly. He wanted to help, truly he did. It tore him up inside to see Nell this way.

The wet patch against his chest continued to grow, and she only sniffled in response as more tears fell down her cheeks.

Arthur rested his face against her head, closing his eyes and furrowing his brow. Nell was emanating a pain that he was absorbing, and if he could, he’d absorb all of her pain and take it away from her. He’d take on her burdens without a second thought.

“Can someone take care of her in the meantime?” He continued.

She shook her head, finally sucking in a breath and speaking. “My parents are divorced. Dad lives out here in Arizona. I never see him, and I don’t want to.” She sniffled again, trying to calm her breathing enough to continue talking.

Arthur didn’t know too much about Nell’s family, but then again, she didn’t know too much about his family either—or lack thereof. It seemed to be a sensitive subject for both of them.

“Only brother I had died right before we left Georgia, so now it’s just me.” She finished somberly.

Arthur was taken aback. He had never known she’d had siblings. He wanted to ask her more about it. But he realized that if she hadn’t shared anything about her family in the entirety of their relationship, that must mean it was incredibly painful to talk about. He could certainly understand that.

“I can go out there with you. We can look at flights right now.” Arthur told her, planting a soft kiss to her forehead.

She nuzzled against him, trying to dry her cheeks. “You’d go with me?”

“Of course. Ain’t even a question, darlin’.” He tucked her hair behind her ear gently.

“Ok, let’s start looking at flights then.” She gave him a watery smile.

“Alright.” He replied with a tender smile of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, the next few chapters are gonna be a bit heavy. Nell and Arthur will discuss their families and what happened to her brother


	17. The Past Still Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay guys. I'm back in school and it's my senior year of college so there's so much homeworkkkkk. I'd really like to try to update weekly if I can. Also, this chapter is a bit heavy. There are mentions of abuse and suicide.

“Oh man I missed it here.” Nell took a deep breath as she and Arthur exited the rental car building.

Arthur smiled at her and wrapped his arm around her waist as they walked. “Even the humidity?” He wiped his brow for effect. She chuckled and gave him a playful scowl. Her nonchalant expression quickly melted into one of worry, however.

“We’ll see her soon, darlin’. Don’t worry.” Arthur kissed Nell’s temple as they got in their car.

Nell sniffled, giving him a halfhearted nod and putting her hair up into a bun as stray tendrils stuck to her neck.

Arthur furrowed his brow at her, a small frown etched upon his lips. He patted her knee and started the engine.

* * *

“My sweet Nellie.” Nell’s mother wrapped her frail arms around her daughter. Nell buried her face in her mother’s graying hair.

Arthur waited by the car, his hands clasped together in front of himself. When Nell pulled away from her embrace, she took a breath, trying to quell her tears. She turned her head, motioning for Arthur to join them in the front doorway.

He stuck out his hand politely, and was surprised when Nell’s mom pulled him in for a fierce hug.

“Nell has told me so much about you.” She pulled back, studying him.

Arthur was a bit nervous if he were being honest with himself. He wanted so desperately to make a good impression. The last time he had met someone’s parents had been Mary’s father, and that had gone disastrously bad. 

“Likewise Mrs. Anderson. It’s real nice to meet you.” Arthur drawled.

“Please, call me Cathy.”

“Cathy, then.” He gave her a warm smile. “How’re you feelin’?”

She looked at him, her tired eyes watering. “It’s not looking good.”

* * *

Arthur and Nell sat down on the couch after Cathy went to sleep. He held her hand, rubbing his thumb over her soft skin.

“I can’t believe this.” She whispered into his shoulder.

“I know, darlin’. The best the you can do now is just be there for her.” Arthur squeezed her palm.

Nell took a breath, looking up into Arthur’s face.

“Arthur?”

“Hmm?”

“What happened to your parents?”

Arthur paused for a moment, jaw clenching slightly.

“Sorry…you don’t have to talk about them.” Nell added quickly.

Arthur shook his head, holding out his hand in a placating gesture. “No, it’s ok, Nellie. Just haven’t talked about them in a while is all.”

Nell nodded, waiting patiently for him to continue.

“My mother died when I was real young. I didn’t know her all that well, but what I do remember of her, she was real sweet. Like your mom I suppose.” Arthur made a little half smile at the memory of her. His smile fell as soon as he started talking about his father. “My daddy was a cruel man. Petty criminal and rough wit’ me and my mother.” He blew out a breath before continuing. “He got killed when I was about 14. I fell in with the Foster Care system. Not a real good place to be.”

Nell looked at Arthur with sympathy, the love and respect she felt for him thoroughly warming her chest.

“Then I met John, Lenny, Charles, and Javier in the group Foster home, and even though it was real tough, we got through it. Been friends ever since.” Arthur leaned back, sinking further into the couch.

“I never knew that about you.” Nell said quietly.

Arthur shrugged, “No one’s ever really asked me. And I don’t usually like talkin’ ‘bout my daddy.”

Nell nodded. “I can certainly understand that.”

“What was your dad like?” Arthur asked.

Nell scoffed, shaking her head. “A no good bastard. Sorta like yours.” She took a breath, getting up and going to the kitchen to grab a couple beers before returning and speaking again.

Arthur thanked her, popping the cap off his bottle and taking a slow drink. Nell did the same.

“A lot like Chris to be honest.” Nell said quietly.

Arthur paused, swallowing his mouthful before meeting her eyes. She gave him a knowing look.

“I’ve heard people fall in with people they find familiar. Chris was unpredictable with his anger, but in a way, I knew what to expect. Does that make any sense?”

Arthur nodded slowly, reaching out and taking her hand again. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“My dad and mom met just a couple years before my older brother was born. They weren’t really expecting him, so when they found out she was pregnant, they got married.”

Arthur nodded, waiting for her to go on.

“My mom hasn’t talked about my father a lot, but I do know that the longer they were together, the worse he got. And of course that’s pretty typical of abusive relationships.”

“So he was abusive?” Arthur questioned softly.

“Oh, big time. Much worse than Chris.”

Arthur frowned, suddenly pulling Nell against him and burying his face in her hair.

Nell let out a gasp, steadying her hand on his chest.

“You been through too much.” Arthur said gruffly. He sounded sad.

Nell turned her head, pressing her lips softly against his own. “So have you. I’m just lucky I found you when I did.” Nell whispered, giving him a small smile.

Arthur nodded in silent agreement.

Nellie took a deep breath, pulling back just a bit so that she could look at Arthur.

“When my brother was about three, I came along. My mom tried to give us the best childhood she could, but we didn’t have very much money. My father was constantly stressed with work, and began drinking.”

Arthur’s gaze hardened, hearing more and more similarities with Chris.

“He started runnin’ around with other women. Got one of his coworkers pregnant, but she miscarried. Mom left him for a while after that. We got a little apartment for a few months until he convinced her to come back.”

“Jesus, Nell.”

“Things got better for a little while, I think he tried to convince my mom he’d change and all that usual crap. Only lasted so long, though. Then, when I was 16, my brother died. And that was when we moved and my parents divorced shortly after. My mom moved to Louisiana when I was probably 24 or so.”

“Do you mind if I ask what happened to your brother?” Arthur asked gently.

Nell stared at her hands for a little bit before acquiescing. “Dad was especially hard on him after my parents separated the first time. He was very protective over me and my mother.” Nell smiled sadly.

“What was his name?” He was still talking gently and quietly to her.

“Tommy.” Nell replied, just as quietly.

Arthur huffed out a breath through his nose, squeezing her hand. “What happened after they got back together?”

“When dad would fly into a drunken rage, he’d come after my mom and me. Tommy would stand in front of us and take the brunt of the beating. Finally, my dad just started going after him.”

“Christ.” Arthur commented in disgust. “How old were you?”

“I was probably about 12 or 13.”

Arthur scowled, his brow furrowing as an overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over him.

“Tommy started getting depressed. He started acting out with drugs, and started hitting back when my dad got drunk.” She paused. “I don’t know what was harder to watch, my dad becoming increasingly violent, or Tommy slowly deteriorating.”

Arthur felt his chest constrict, and his eyes begin to burn as he listened to Nell’s story.

“Then, when I was 16, and Tommy was 19, he couldn’t take it anymore.” Nell began to cry, “I still remember reading his note.”

Arthur felt his cheeks finally grow wet, he hated watching Nell cry.

“After Tommy’s suicide, we moved to Arizona. I don’t think my mom could stay in the same house without thinking of him. She’s the one who found him, after all.”

Arthur leaned towards Nell, kissing her temple. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how you kept going through all that.”

“I had to. For my mom. And now…now she’s sick.”

Arthur nodded, “She’s lucky to have you as a daughter, Nell. It sounds like you helped her a lot growin’ up. Even now, you dropped everythin’ to come out here and take care of her. I can tell how much you love her, and how much she loves you.” He paused, his eyes searching hers. “I’m so sorry about Tommy, and about everythin’ else you’ve been through.”

Nell nodded, wiping her cheeks.

“I’m sorry about your parents too.”

Arthur looked at the floor, not quite knowing what to say.

Nell leaned in for one more kiss before draining her beer and standing. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Arthur followed suit, grabbing their empty bottles and heading towards the kitchen to throw them away.


	18. Memories

Nell and Arthur stayed with Nell’s mom for a few more days. On the last morning they were there, everyone ate in silence around the breakfast table. Nellie had her mother’s hand in hers, sniffling as she dragged her spoon through her now cold oatmeal.

“We’ll be back as soon as we can.” Nell spoke solemnly, squeezing her mom’s fingers.

Cathy nodded, giving Nell a reassuring smile. Then she turned to Arthur.

“It was so lovely meeting you, Arthur. I’m so happy you two have found each other.”

Arthur smiled bashfully, placing a hand on Nellie’s arm. He gave both of them a soft look, one that he hoped conveyed optimism.

Nell’s phone alarm went off, making the oatmeal in her spoon jump as she startled.

“We’ve gotta catch our flight.” She stood up slowly, scooting her chair back and grabbing everybody’s bowls to put in the sink.

Arthur started towards the door, grabbing their suitcases. Mrs. Anderson walked them out, giving Arthur a warm hug and then turning to Nell. Nell covered her mouth as a small sob escaped and she surged forward into her mother’s arms.

“Will you be ok here?” she buried her face into her mother’s collar, and the sight made Arthur’s throat tighten. It made him think on what little memories he had of his own mother.

Nell’s mom pressed a kiss to her daughter’s temple, petting her hair soothingly.

“Mrs. Vasquez has been taking me to my appointments. We’ll be fine.”

“She still lives next door?” Nell asked, finally pulling away to wipe at her eyes.

“Yes, she’s been a great help, so don’t you worry about me.” Her eyes shimmered with unspent tears, and Arthur had to turn his head away in fear of crying himself.

“I can come back—I can help mor—”

Mrs. Anderson cut Nell off by shaking her head. “Nell, I’m ok. I promise. Mrs. Vasquez has got me covered, and I don’t want you to see me after those chemo sessions. I get very sick.”

Nell started crying again but nodded, “You haven’t lost your hair yet.”

“I’ve only had a couple of sessions. It’ll fall out before too long.”

Nell bit her quivering lip, trying desperately to keep her composure. Finally she moved forward, giving her mom one last hug.

“I’ll call you when we land.”

Her mother nodded, waving at the two of them as they got in the car. 

* * *

Nell sat in Arthur’s house, pressed tightly up against his chest. Her knees curled up in front of her as she wept. It seemed that’s all she could do these days. Her eyes were constantly bloodshot and puffy, her nose always red.

Arthur held her close, offering her quiet reassurances or sometimes just letting her shed her tears in silence—whichever she preferred at that moment. He’d let Nell tell all their friends what was going on in the couple of weeks that they’d been back home. Everyone, especially Angie, was very comforting and patient with her. Even Abigail, and it seemed as though the two had a budding friendship. Arthur was happy about that.

“You want me to make you some soup, Nellie?” Arthur prodded gently.

Nell nodded lazily, her eyes fixed on the floor in front of her.

Arthur carefully untucked her arms that were around his waist and stood up, heading towards the kitchen. While he cooked, he found his thoughts drifting back to his time in the foster care system. Watching Nell go through this rollercoaster of emotions lately had him feeling similarly. Of course he shared her sentiments about her mother, even though he didn’t know Mrs. Anderson all that well, but this period of emotional turmoil also was binging up unpleasant memories—ones that he’d rather keep buried.

Those memories involved two men by the names of Hosea Matthews and Dutch van der Linde. Now Dutch was in prison and Hosea was dead…but the memories still haunted him. His memories of Hosea were pleasant but Dutch…well, Dutch was a different story.

Even though he and Nell had discussed most of their familial pasts together at her mother’s house, he had yet to share some of the parts of him that were quite unsavory in his eyes. He worried deeply that it would change the way she viewed him. He hadn’t even told Mary everything, but Nellie certainly was no Mary.

A sharp pain shocked him from his reverie. “Ow! Shit.” Arthur shook his hand out, wiping the scalding broth on his pants.

“Arthur? You ok?” Nell called from the living room.

“Yea darlin’, just burned myself on the soup. I’m fine.”

He heard Nell chuckle quietly, and hearing her laugh, although small, brought a huge smile to his face.

“Be careful Arthur, Jesus.”

His smile didn’t falter as he put her soup in a bowl and brought it out to her.

She looked up at him with glassy eyes, her hair hanging limply around her face, but with a brilliant grin. One that he’d sorely missed.

“Here ya go.” He pressed a chaste kiss to her head before handing her the steaming bowl.

“Thank you.” She ladled a spoonful up to her mouth, blowing on it carefully before swallowing. She closed her eyes, humming in appreciation. “God, that’s good. You want some?”

Arthur shook his head, sitting back down next to her on the couch. “Nah, I’m alright. Thank you though.”

He watched her eat in amusement, glad that some of the sadness had finally left her. It got him thinking again about Hosea and Dutch, and how he’d need to tell her about them before too long. He frowned at the thought. For now, he just wanted to enjoy this brief bought of happiness.

Arthur awoke in the night covered in sweat, his chest falling and rising erratically as he struggled to calm his racing heart. He’d had _another_ nightmare about his past. He figured they were starting to come back due to current stresses and his incessant worrying about Nell.

“Arthur?” Nell rolled over sleepily.

He pushed some sweaty locks away from his forehead as he sat up on his elbows.

“Yea, darlin’, I’m here.”

“You ok?”

He paused for a moment, trying to decide whether to tell her the truth or not.

“I’m fine. Just a dream.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

He felt the bed dip a bit as Nell got up on her elbows as well and turned to face him.

“You sure?”

He met her eyes. “Yea.”

“Ok…” Nell studied him. “I love you.”

Arthur gave her a soft smile. “I love you too.”

He laid back down, opening his arms to welcome her against his bare chest. She ran her fingers idly through the hair there, closing her eyes and huffing out a breath.

He lay there awake, staring at the ceiling as he felt her hand movements still and her breathing even out again.

* * *

_Arthur: Should I tell her? I’m just so nervous that she’ll never see me the same way again._

_John: I think you should. It’s Nell, Arthur. She ain’t gonna stop lovin’ you_

_Javier: I don’t know brother…I think the life we all led with Dutch might be hard for her to understand. Even though we’ve turned our lives around…people would probably still view us as bad._

_Lenny: I’m torn Arthur. I’m on the fence with this one._

Arthur stared at the phone in his hand as he led a horse out to pasture. He was waiting for Nell to get off work so that they could hang out, but this dreaded feeling had been twisting in his gut all week, and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. _Of course_ he wanted to tell her. Of course he did. But that small, self-deprecating part of his brain was so scared, so _terrified,_ that it would cost him his relationship with her. He’d never trusted anyone like he trusted her. Hell, he’d never loved someone like he loved her, and the thought of losing that, of losing _her,_ was too much to bear. But he knew Nell, like John had said, he knew Nell would still love him…right? But what if Javier was right? What if it was truly too much for her and…He had to stop. He had to stop letting his thoughts spiral like this. He would tell her. He HAD to. For her sake, she deserved to know who he used to be. But he had to know she realized it wasn’t who he was anymore.

So when she came over to his place later that night he felt confident he could do this, but as soon as he opened the door and saw her beautiful face, that confidence crumbled.

_No…no, he most definitely could not do this. Because doing this would cost him everything._

He bit his tongue, and gave her a quick kiss as he let her in. _He’d just let himself rot from the inside out from these memories, because that’s better than losing her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> womp womp....prepare for some serious angst


	19. Don't Shut Me Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized it's been a while since I put in any romance, so here is a brief bit of happiness before we go back to being sad and angsty lol

“Hey darlin’.” Arthur greeted Nell with a warm smile, closing the door behind her as she walked in. He watched her absently as he tried to clear his mind, trying to get all the negative thoughts to leave him alone.

“You ok?” Nell asked gently, resting her hand on Arthur’s arm. His eyes flicked up to meet hers, and his gaze softened at her furrowed brows. When she was concerned, she got a little crinkle on her forehead that he thought was adorable. Her curious grey gaze watched him as he studied her.

He leaned forward and kissed her, wrapping his hands in her hair. She huffed against his lips in surprise, bracing her hands on his chest. His fingers wandered up to find the elastic holding her locks up, and swiftly got that out of the way, letting her dark tresses cascade over her shoulders. He pulled back, licking his lips as he drank her image in.

“Arthur?” she said his name in a mere whisper, making his head fog up. He couldn’t explain it, but he needed her, and he needed her now. He felt his fingers itching to touch her, to undress her, to make her writhe in ecstasy…

He grunted in response, bending down halfway and scooping her up under her ass. She squealed, wrapping her legs around his torso as she looked at him with amusement. “What’s gotten into you?” she asked mischievously.

“Just love you. Want you.” He murmured as he carried her to the bedroom, laying her down onto the comforter.

She looked up at him with a softness that made him kiss her again, slipping his hands under the spaghetti straps of her black tank top and sliding them down her shoulders.

“How was work?” he huffed, busying his mouth on her neck. She bit down on her lower lip, scrunching her eyes together as he worked her tender skin.

“Oh Jesus….uh…good.” she managed. She felt him smirk against her, brushing his fingers softly down her sides, making her muscles twitch and quiver.

“I’m glad to hear that.” His lips travelled down to her shoulder, biting it gently while his hands worked on her belt.

“W-what about you?” she stammered breathily.

“Fine.” He answered, looking up when he heard her chuckling.

“You’re very impatient tonight.”

He gave her a lopsided grin in response and held her gaze as he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her pants and tugged them clean off her legs. She held her breath, waiting to see what he would do next. He smoothed his hand up her thigh before turning her over and sharply smacking her ass cheek with his palm. She yelped in surprise, reaching back to rub her sore skin. Before she knew it, Arthur had positioned her so that she was half off the bed, her knees on the floor while her torso rested on the mattress.

He moved her underwear to the side with one finger, moving forward and using the flat of his tongue to swipe up her folds in one fluid motion. Her knees buckled a bit, her lips letting out an antsy sigh. Nell looked back at him over her shoulder, noting how his gaze had turned dark and feral. It made her thighs tremble. He took her knees and spread them wider apart, allowing his broad torso to move closer. Still keeping his finger hooked into her underwear on one side, he brought his tongue back to her skin, alternating between lapping and swiping motions. He openly moaned at the taste of her, making his stiff cock twitch in his pants when she moaned back. She tasted sweet and earthy all at the same time. Like strawberries that had been recently kissed by a spring rain. All he knew was that her taste made him forget how to function. Made him into some sort of an animal, where all he could think about was her and the way she made him feel and his release…

His fingers dug into her thighs, holding her steady against him as she squirmed. He pulled back for a split second, only to move his lips a mere inch or two to her clit, sucking lightly so as to tease her. She whined, pushing her hips back into his face. “More” she begged quietly.

He’d be lying if he said that didn’t turn every damn vein in his body into a live wire, fire threading through his entire nervous system. He felt his cock throbbing, begging for release just at seeing and _hearing_ Nell in such a debauched state.

He acquiesced happily, greedily sucking and nibbling on her clit while he listened to her frenzied moans. He let go of one of her thighs to bring his hand up to her center, replacing his tongue with his index finger. He rubbed in little circles, feeling each and every jolt go through Nell’s legs as he touched her. The feelings that arose within him were nothing short of intoxicating and carnal. His arousal was boiling over, the sheer electricity she was putting off was like a drug. He let out a breath, working her quickly. He could feel her muscles twitching under his unoccupied palm, could feel that pent up tension reaching a breaking point, and right as she was teetering on the edge, he took his hand away. Nell groaned in protest. She turned around to find Arthur stripping rapidly, hands back on her just as fast. He tapped her legs, and she stood up, her torso still over the bed. He gripped her hips and lined himself up slowly, but his patience was starting to wear thin, as was hers. Pushing into her gently, he closed his eyes, his jaw set. When he was fully seated, one of his hands wandered up her back and settled on her shoulder, making her arch her back into his touch. He leaned over her body slightly, and with her back arched like this, it drove her ass back into him. It looked so _good—_ so round and full. He let out a strangled groan and rammed into her, watching with appreciation as she bounced against him. He kept his hand on her shoulder as he fucked her, his knuckles going white from gripping her amidst his passion. He looked down to see her similarly holding the sheets, and his eyes wandered to her dark hair falling over her shoulders and across her back. He moved his hand to now tangle in her locks, pulling her head back. This caused her back to arch a little more and he gritted his teeth at the sight, his thoughts becoming completely primal. Nell let out a high pitched moan, and Arthur moaned in response, the sound deep and rumbly. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, not when he got to look at her like this. From her cries, it sounded like she was close as well. His gaze darted back to her ass, bouncing against him in time with his erratic thrusts.

“Jesus Nell.” He panted breathlessly, his brows furrowed and his voice gravelly from lust. She turned her face towards him as much as she could with her hair still in his grip, her teeth sunk into her lower lip, her face flushed, her eyes hooded and glazed. His mouth parted, breaths coming out harshly as he watched her. He gave a few more harsh thrusts and then she was clenching around him and calling his name as she came hard. That tight heat suddenly constricting even more caused him to follow soon after her, and he filled her completely as his hips slowed.

Sated and exhausted, he withdrew from her, collapsing onto the bed with one arm behind his head. She grinned at him, smoothing out her hair and clambering up beside him to lay her head on his sweaty chest. He lifted his arm wearily and wrapped it around her, pulling her close as he pressed a kiss into her mussed hair.

“Thank you. Needed that.” He whispered.

Nell smiled and nodded, snuggling down against him. “Me too.” After a moment of silence her breathing evened out and her body rose and fell gently under his palm.

Arthur drifted off to sleep soon after, and although he was plagued by nightmares again, he could feel Nell pressed up tightly against him, keeping him safe from his memories.

* * *

The next morning Nell was awake before Arthur was. She looked down at his sleeping form, admiring the stubble stretching over his strong jaw. She turned over on her side, holding her head in her hand so she could study him. She was worried about him—he was acting more aloof lately. He was still loving towards her and showed her affection but he was…more reserved than normal. He’d woken her up a few times the night before from what she gathered to be nightmares. It bothered her to be honest…why wouldn’t he talk to her about whatever was bothering him? Would he have told Mary? Was he pulling away _because_ of Mary?

Nell scoffed at herself, Arthur wouldn’t do that. Arthur was not her father, or Chris. Maybe he just wasn’t comfortable talking to her about it…but if he loved her shouldn’t he know she wouldn’t judge him? Scowling, she got out of bed and wandered to the bathroom to get the shower started. 

* * *

Arthur opened his eyes slowly, feeling the warmth from the sun refracting through his bedroom window. Its golden glow washed over his naked torso as he let out a yawn, feeling his jaw pop in the process. He’d slept like shit again last night, even after the unbelievable sex he’d had with Nell. He was so tired, and he was tired of being tired. He hadn’t had dreams like these in years. He looked around, his brows drawing together in confusion as he looked for Nell. Pushing the covers off his lap, he stood from the bed and ambled to his bathroom where he found her showering. Smiling a little to himself, he opened the shower door and joined her under the hot water. She instantly tucked her head into his chest, wrapping her arms around him as he blinked in surprise. After only a moment, his arms came up to circle her, too.

“Are you ok Arthur?” she asked quietly, keeping her face hidden from him as the water streamed down their backs.

He paused for a second, debating once again whether or not he should share his burdens with her. After a stretch of silence from him, where the only noise between them was the water hitting the tiled floor, he cleared his throat. “I’m fine, sweetheart.”

He looked down to see her face fall in disappointment. But how could he do that to her? As someone who loved her so dearly, how could he let her know what he was going through when she was going through so much pain of her own? Wouldn’t that be selfish of him to tell her? He tucked his hand behind her head and pet her slicked hair.

“Promise.” He lifted her chin with his other hand, making her look at him. Her expression was so uncertain, so unsure, that it made him frown.

“Why do you ask?”

“You had nightmares last night. You’re pullin’ away from me and you’re acting aloof.” Nell said quietly.

Arthur drew his mouth into a thin line, upset with allowing himself to wear his emotions on his sleeve so much and for upsetting Nell. “I ain’t tryin’ to. I just—some stuff has come up for me recently and I ain’t about to put that on you.”

“But I want to help.” Nell stated adamantly. “You’ve been helpin’ me through this shit with my mom, you helped me with Chris—why can’t I help you with this?”

Arthur was genuinely at a loss for words. He opened his mouth to speak but then promptly shut it again. He didn’t know how to explain this in a way that she’d understand. He was doing this for _her._ To protect her from him and his past. He didn’t want her to have to deal with all the ugliness that his past choices brought upon him. She didn’t deserve that, especially with what she was going through right now.

“I _need_ you right now, Arthur. Please don’t shut me out.”

Arthur stood there, watching her fiery grey gaze move over his face. When he didn’t answer, she shook her head and got out of the shower.

“Wait—where ya goin’?”

“Home. I’ll talk to you later.”

And like an idiot, he watched her dry off and get dressed, and when he heard the front door close he slammed his fist against the tiled wall in frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(
> 
> Poor bubby, he just wants to do right by her but he can't figure out how.


	20. Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys I am so sorry. My school year was sooo hectic and I just could never find the time to write. Plus I haven't been feeling super motivated lately. But I am trying my best! I hope you like this short-ish chapter!

Arthur sat gloomily on a round-bale with his head in his hands and his legs dangling over the edge. He watched the horses galloping around the field and bucking playfully. He let out a forlorn sigh and checked his phone—still no answer back from Nell. They hadn’t really talked since she’d stormed out of his place a few days prior. He’d felt like a royal ass and an oaf for letting her go, but he hadn’t known what to say. It seemed like he always messed up.

Dry straw pricked at him through his jeans, but he paid it no mind. His heart was aching fiercely. He ran a hand over the growth of his beard, glancing at his phone once more before pocketing it and hopping off the hay-bale. Tucking his hands into his jeans, he sauntered sadly towards the barn, getting ready to clean some tack and call it a day. He pulled his leather hat lower over his brow and tugged his tan coat tighter around himself before returning his hands to the warmth of his pockets. The sun was beginning to set, and the evening chill was setting in. Upon reaching the barn, Arthur hauled some saddles off their racks and began oiling them down.

* * *

“I just don’t know why he’s be acting so aloof. I feel like I’ve done something.” Nell said bitterly, scrubbing at a dirty glass with a rag. Angie looked at her friend sadly.

“Nellie, I—” Angie was cut off as a customer waved his hand from across the bar, indicating he wanted a refill. She huffed and started heading his way before stopping and turning back to Nell. “Be right back.”

Nell nodded, not even lifting her eyes as she scrubbed at the glass harder. Suddenly a hand rested atop her own and she lifted her head to find Angie looking at her.

“Scrub it any harder and the glass might break.” Angie joked lightly.

Nell looked at her friend in confusion. “You refill his drink that fast?”

“Yea. Guy just wanted straight Vodka.”

“Ew.”

“Ew is right.” Angie smiled casually, taking the rag and glass from Nell and putting it on the counter. Then she pulled her friend into a hug.

“I’m sure you’ve done nothing wrong, hon. Sometimes men are just weird.”

“But he’s never been this way with me.”

Angie took in a breath, pulling away but keeping her hands on Nell’s shoulders.

“Nell, remember that guy I dated a few years back? Jason?”

Nell rolled her eyes, “Oh yeah, I remember him alright.” Nell looked at the ground and mumbled under her breath, “fucker”.

Angie nodded, seemingly agreeing. “For the first few months he and I dated, everything was great. Just like you and Arthur. Jason took me out to eat, he took me to hang out with his friends—like Arthur.”

Nell’s eyes narrowed. “What are you getting at?”

“Look Nell, maybe you’re just exiting the honeymoon stage.” Angie removed her hands from her friend’s shoulders and shrugged.

Nell pursed her lips, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “No, what are you _really_ getting at?”

Angie paused before taking a deep breath. “It really could be nothing, Nell. Everyone goes through a honeymoon stage. Maybe that’s all this is.”

Nell kept her eyes trained on Angie, waiting for her to continue.

“But…” Angie faltered, biting her lip. “But maybe he’s like Jason…”

Nell’s eyes widened in shock.

“You know how it ended between us. He started acting aloof and then suddenly he didn’t have much time for me anymore, then I come home from work early one night and he’s in bed with my roommate.” Angie rolled her eyes before adding, “well, _old_ roommate.”

“You can’t seriously be saying you think Arthur is _cheating_ on me.” Nell said angrily.

Angie threw her hands up defensively. “No, no. I’m not suggesting it. I’m just saying there are two options you could be dealing with here, and this is one of those options.”

Nell let out a groan, followed by a small hiccupy cry.

“Nell, I didn’t mean to make you cry...I just wanted to be real with you.” Angie paused for a moment before continuing. “I feel like a really lousy friend, I just…when a man starts acting like this out of nowhere it’s not really a good sign.”

“Don’t you think I know that??” Nell gritted out between her teeth. She wiped away her tears angrily.

“Look, Arthur seems like a really good guy, maybe that’s not what it is at all. Maybe I’m completely off track.”

“Yeah, well whether you’re off track or not, now that’s in my head.”

“Nell, I’m sorry.”

Nellie shook her head, running a hand through her hair. “Just forget it. Let’s just finish our shifts.” 

* * *

_Arthur:_ Hey, I know I acted like an idiot the other night, and for that I’m sorry. I ain’t good with expressing my feelings and well…I have some stuff about my past I haven’t told you yet. I guess I’m…afraid. Of how you’ll see me.

_Nell:_ It’s fine. Come by the bar, I have something to show you.

Arthur squinted his eyes in confusion, looking at his phone as he lay in bed.

_Arthur:_ Nellie it’s 4 AM. Ain’t you off work yet?

_Nell:_ Just come on.

Arthur frowned, but got up and hurriedly dressed himself.

_Arthur:_ Ok, I’m on my way

He threw on his jacket before leaving his house and got into his truck. Revving the engine, he couldn’t help but feel a knot of anxiety in his gut. Something felt off.

He drove the few blocks to the bar and got out, clenching and unclenching his fists as his worry of the situation washed over him. Finally taking a breath, he pushed open the doors to find Nell...kissing Chris.

Arthur felt his heart shatter into a million pieces inside his chest. He clenched his jaw, he tried to hold back tears, but soon, rage took over. Nell paid him no mind, instead she grabbed the back of Chris’s head and deepened the kiss, moaning into his mouth like she used to do for Arthur. Arthur’s fists now clenched for an entirely different reason. He marched right over to them and cocked his arm back, using his other one to pull Chris off of Nell.

“You sonuvabitch!!” His eyes burned with a terrifying anger as he landed a blow on Chris’s jaw. Behind them, Nell started laughing.

Arthur’s head had never whipped around so fast before. “Nell! How could you?” Arthur pleaded, looking at her with gut-wrenching sadness.

“I love you! How could you do this to me?”

Nell scoffed, folding her arms across her chest. “You shut me out. You don’t do that to the ones you love, asshole.”

Arthur was speechless, his mouth open in shock.

Nell continued, her face turning red with anger and frustration. “And I loved _you!_ You kept the darkest parts of yourself from me, you made me feel helpless and small. Now look what you’ve done. If you had just told me about Dutch and Hosea from the beginning instead of acting like this, you wouldn’t be in this mess!”

Arthur’s eyes widened in shock. “You…you know about Dutch and Hosea?”

Nell rolled her eyes. “Of course I know. You think I’m that stupid?”

Arthur stammered for an explanation, “Wha-no! No, I don’t think you’re stupid at all! I just…how did you know?”

Nell smiled and leaned forward, her arms still crossed over her chest. “Like I said, I’m not stupid. Got some past there too. So I guess you were right to keep it from me. How could I ever truly love someone as ugly and cold-hearted as you, Arthur? Shame I found out. Now I know who you really are.”

This time, he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down his bearded cheeks. He slumped to his knees, feeling so weak and limp all of a sudden.

“Nell, please. You don’t mean that, please say you don’t mean that.”

“I mean it. Get the hell out of here, Arthur.”

Arthur felt a hand on his shoulder and the next thing he knew, he was receiving a nasty punch on his cheekbone from Chris.

Arthur lay on the ground, gasping for breath. Feeling like a pathetic mess, wondering how this could have gone so wrong…

……………………………

“Ahh!”

Arthur sat up in bed quickly, sweat covering his body, making his clothes cling to him. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and he lifted a hand to his cheekbone gingerly to make sure it didn’t hurt. He winced, but only because he felt tears staining his cheeks. _Thank Christ it was just a dream._ He lay back down on his pillow, his breathing continuing to come quickly. He checked his phone and despite it being the middle of the night, shot Nell a text message.

_Arthur:_ Nell, please text me back when you can. I need to talk to you about some stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun...will he finally tell her about his past?


End file.
